I'm starting to question my sanity.....

[Kisa]

You know those days where it just seems like one thing after another after another? Where all this crap starts dropping on your head and you think to yourself, "This is going to create a LOT of SC's today...."? For me, this was one of those days....

Before I got to work, I had lots of chores to do and errands to run, so little relaxing time. I got a haircut (for the first time in a year....oops) and my ends were SO bad, she had to cut off 4 inches of hair. I was starting to like the length too.... Oh well. Shorter cuts are nice for summer, right?

First thing when I get to work, I am told we are out of Mountaun Dew. Today is Tuesday and we get our shipment in on Wednesday, so we usually run low on multiple things. And guess what 40% of our customers wanted to drink? Mountain Dew!!! Don't it just figure? So, because of this, I had these SC's....

SC: I want Mountain Dew to drink.
Me: I'm sorry, but we are out of Mountain Dew for the night.
SC: Are you f*cking serious?!
Me: Yeah, sorry about that.
SC: This is the worst day of my life!!! I am NEVER coming here AGAIN!!!

But yet, you pull up and pay for your food anyway? " AM NEVER COMING HERE AGAIN!!! Today is the last time ever. Seriously" And not being able to get Mountain Dew with your tacos ruined your day? I call overreacting on an epic level. I'd hate to see how you react when something really bad happens, like your car breaks down or you lose your job or your roof caves in.

SC: I want Mountain Dew.
Me: *same as above*
SC: Ok.
Me: So what do you want to drink?
SC: Mountain Dew.
Me: We're out of Mountain Dew. Would you like Pepsi instead? (because everyone who couldn't have Mountain Dew wanted Pepsi)
SC: No! I want Mountain Dew!!
Me: We. Are. Out. It's all gone until tomarrow morning.
SC: Oh... Well you shoulda said so! *snotty*

Oops, my bad. I must have hallucinated the 2 times I told you we were out of Mountain Dew for the night. That has been happening a lot lately. I should see a doctor for that.

SC: Mountain Dew.
Me: *same*
SC: Oh....
Me: Would you like Pepsi instead?
SC: No, I want Mountain Dew.
Me: I'm sorry, we're out.
SC: Can I PLEASE have Mountain Dew?
Me: .....No. Like I said, we're out. I can't give you any because we don't have any to sell.
SC: Oh...I figured I'd ask in case you were lying.

Yep, that's me. Kisa the big, fat liar. I get my kicks out of telling customers we don't have things just to piss them off. I mean, who doesn't like to be bitched at all day? However, if they ask twice, I give it to them. Yes, it makes me look bad, but I have to get my kicks somehow!

SC: Mountain Dew.
Me: *same*
SC: F*ck this....
Me: Sorry. Would you like Pepsi instead?
SC's wife: Do you REALLY not have any?
Me: Sorry, no we don't. We won't have any until tomarrow morning.
SC: Fine...I'll have Pepsi.
Me: Would you like anything else today? (meaning: Would you like to order anything else or is this it?)
SC: What can I have? *snotty*
Me: I dunno...anything.
SC: I want a Coke.
Me: We don't carry Coke. Would you like another Pepsi?
SC: No. I was just trying to prove that you can't give me anything I want, so don't say you can!

He gets to the window, completes the transaction without eye contact or words, and grunts something about a spork. Guess what? We're out of sporks too!

Me: I'm sorry, but we're out of sporks.
SCW: Well then how am I supposed to eat my mexican pizza!

Well, there's this cool new invention called a fork. It's commonly found in homes, like the one you are headed to.

SC: Gimme a fork then!
Me: I'm sorry, but we don't carry forks.
SC: Spoon!!
Me: All we carry are sporks.
SC: Well then gimme a spork!!!
Me: We're out.
SC: You JUST said you had some!!!
Me: No, I said we carried them.
SC: So I can't get a spork?!
Me: No. Sorry.
SC: Gimme sauces!!
Me: What kind?
SC: I don't care!!! ALL OF THEM!!!
Me: Ok... *gives him 2 of each sauce*
SC: Is there sauce in here?!!
Me: Yes.
SC: There better be
Me: Have a nice day!

I am not able to eat without a plastic spork!! Because of you, I will STARVE!!! Really? I'm sure you are capable of muddling along with your shitty metal forks at home. After all, plastic is way better than steel. And sporks get awesome points.

Then, there was a light storm which caused alll the bugs to fly in and ATTACK me everytime I opened the window!!! Note: It's fishfly season over here, so we have SWARMS of these things coating the buildings. streets, etc. I kept having drunks laugh at me when I got them stuck to my clothes.

SC: Huh huh! They got you!

Yes, but look what got you. 10 too many beers and a nice sized drool stain.

SC: Don't be scared! They don't even got mouthes!!!

Yes, you can tell how terrified I am by the look of sheer irritation on my face. Look at the way I roll my eyes and sigh as I pick them off me and chuck them at the pavement. Clearly petrified.
Other customers, who really ARE scared of them, overreacted a few times.

Me: *picked a bug off me and dropped it out the window*
SC: *gasp* *SHRIEK!!!!* Don't THROW them at me!!!!
Me: .....I dropped it on the ground....

I'm SO evil, I chucked the fishfly at your face so it could......hmmmmm......(fishflies can't bite, eat, poop, spit acid, sweat poison or anything...they exist to feed birds and fish)....land on you and sit there stupidly! Ooohhhh I'm SO cruel!

SC: *pulls to the window with her car window rolled down 2 inches*
Me:.....Can you roll your window down a bit? I don't want to drop your money.
SC: No. I don't want them to get me.

Of course. If they get you, they will fly you away to their nest and feed you to their queen.

SC: *tries to pull her bag in thru the 2 inch crack* .....It won't fit.
Me: No. No it won't.
SC: Can you help?
Me: You have to roll your window down.
SC: No...I'll manage.

She drove away with the bag hanging out the window

Last but not least, the YouTube Celebs!!!

A group of guys pull to the speaker, laughing their asses off. My first thought? Lovely. Just what I needed.

Our Cast

Me: Moi
DT Drunk Teen
LT: Lackey Teen
PG: The peanut gallery
Mr. Dave: awesome manager

DT: HEY! HEEEEYYYY!!!!
Me: Hold on please....(I was with a customer)
DT: Hey! HELLOOOOOOOO!!!!
Me: I said hold on.
DT: WOOOOO!!!!
PG: Hyuk hyuk!
Me: Sorry about that. Hi how are you?
DT: I'm f*cking GREAT!!
Me: That's nice.
DT: I want one....no 2 chicken quesadillas with no sauce, and a potatoe taco.
PG: I want one too!
DT: Another chicken quesadilla no sauce, so 3 in total.

2+1=3.... Thank's for the reminder! I can never seem to remember that one.....

Me: Is that it?
DT: Yeah!
Me: $x.xx second window please.

When they are ppulling up, I note a few abnormalities.
-I see no headlights.
-They are taking a LOOONNNGGG time.
- That sure as hell don't look like the hood of a car.

Sure enough, here comes the wrong brothers driving their car BACKWARDS thru the drive thru..... Really now? I note the driver hanging out the window with a phone in front of his face, recording the "action".

Me: Hi, that will be $x.xx.
DT: Notice anything weird?
Me: Yep...
DT: Have you ever seen the driver on the wrong side before! Huh huh!
Me: Only in Britain.
DT: HUH HUH HUH! GOOD ONE GOOD ONE! FIST BUMP! *hold out his fist*
Me: *weakly bumps it*
DT: Again!
Me: *repeat*
DT: C'mon!
Me: * last time*
DT: *grabs my fist* Got YOUUUUU!!!! Huh huh huh!
Me: .......
DT: I'm wasted!
Me: I can tell.
DT: I'm not driving though!
Me: Which is a good thing.
DT: Oh, um how much?
Me: $x.xx.....
DT: Our cameraman will bring it to you!
Me: Alright. Goody.
LT: Here you....oops.....*drops it all; continues to film*
Me: *sigh*
LT: Here ya go. That should be it.
Me: *gives change*
LT: Dude! She gave you change!!!

When you don't have the right amount, you give the cashier a little more, and get the difference back. This difference is called "change". It's a brave new concept, but I think it just may catch on.

DT: Cool! Hey, you know who we are?
Me: No.
DT: Have you heard of Drunk D-bag TV?
Me: Still no.
DT: That's us! We're on YouTube!
Me: That's nice.
*closes window*
Me: Hey Mr Dave, wanna be on YouTube? *snicker*
Mr Dave: Not really, no. Why?
Me: Check out these idiots at the window. They are driving backwards and filming for YouTube.
Mr Dave: .....Drunk idiots...

After all this, I'm moreso irritated than shocked. SC's have made me more tolerant to suckiness and insanity.....

[Betweenshades]

OMGAW. Our bulk Coke broke at the Golden Arches and that was a horrible, HORRIBLE few days until it got fixed. I feel for you.

[Laund-o-rama Mama]

I just don't get the ones that think we're LYING. Whhhhyyyy would I lie about such a stupid thing?? I mean, seriously, does he think you're hoarding the Mountain Dew for yourself?? Hiding it in a back room and every once in a while you go and roll amidst the boxes of syrup, cackling maniacally. "The FOOLS!" you say. "It's mine! All MIIINE MWAHAHAHAHA!!!"

[MoonCat]

oh god, the morons filming themselves...I'm sure the whold world is waiting with bated breath to watch a couple of idiots driving backwards through a fast food drive thru....the concept alone is just so brilliant, I'm sure no one's ever done it before....award ceremony, here we come...

[Lachrymose]

SC: This is the worst day of my life!!!

Umm...are you one day old?

[HorrorFrogPrincess]

D-bags weren't at all creative. Google "youtube backwards taco bell", there's, like, 5 pages of idiots doing the same damn thing.

[depechemodefan]

Drunk D-bag TV?

great, now I can actually have a visual and audio of your douchebaggery to cherise.

The people keep on asking for Mountain Dew reminds me yesterday this idiot called, saying she left her flashdrive on a computer, did we find it? Security took the time to go to the computer she used to check and didn't find it. When I told her, she said she had her semester's papers on it. Ten min. latter her sister called back asking for the same stupid flashdrive. Me and the cws went on about, "why did they call back, did they think we were lying to her the first time she called?"

[slavetotheman]

But Kisa, you don't understand, the spork is an essential component of the Taco Bell experience; why, without it, it just doesn't taste the saaaaaaame!

[Kisa]

I just don't get the ones that think we're LYING. Whhhhyyyy would I lie about such a stupid thing?? I mean, seriously, does he think you're hoarding the Mountain Dew for yourself?? Hiding it in a back room and every once in a while you go and roll amidst the boxes of syrup, cackling maniacally. "The FOOLS!" you say. "It's mine! All MIIINE MWAHAHAHAHA!!!"

I would do that if it were the Pina Colada Frutista. I hate Mountain Dew!!!! Blech!

But Kisa, you don't understand, the spork is an essential component of the Taco Bell experience; why, without it, it just doesn't taste the saaaaaaame!

Sporks to Taco Bell are like chopsticks to Chang's Chinese. You simply must feel the plastic on your tongue, the gentle caress of the stubbly prongs to truely experiance mexican fast food!

[RetailWorkhorse]

...you have sanity? What's it look like? I left mine in a park someplace. I think. Or a mud puddle.

No, wait, bacon case.

[Fish Taco64]

Well I came here to get a Mountain Dew but since I am going to be deprived of that......

Those drunk guys were creative geniuses. Idk how they came up with a brilliant idea like driving through a drive-thru backwards but they should win a Nobel prize or something for blowing my mind.

I have been in similar situations though, two years ago there was a big pumpkin shortage and you could not find pumpkin anywhere because the growing season was too wet. I told this to a lovely old dear who asked for it at my grocery store and she accused me of hoarding all the canned pumpkin so "all your little friends can come buy it all".

*facepalm*

[raine_naoe]

I will say that I usually get fast food when I'm not going to be home, so in the case of the missing spork I would have been a little upset about having to eat it with my hands, but silently.

[RetailWorkhorse]

I will say that I usually get fast food when I'm not going to be home, so in the case of the missing spork I would have been a little upset about having to eat it with my hands, but silently.

S'why I carry a picnic bag with me in the car. Plastic ware (the good sturdy kind), plates, cups, paper towels, straws, wetwipes, salt-pepper-splenda-mustard-ketchup-hotsauce packets, table cloth, bottles of water with various drink mix packets... Uhm, I like to be prepared.

[protege]

...you have sanity? What's it look like? I left mine in a park someplace.

My sanity's long gone. I'm sure it left when I started my current job...about 13 years ago. I haven't been the same since

[XCashier]

I'm starting to question my sanity.....

Sanity? What's that? I don't think I ever had any.

I just don't get the ones that think we're LYING. Whhhhyyyy would I lie about such a stupid thing?? I mean, seriously, does he think you're hoarding the Mountain Dew for yourself?? Hiding it in a back room and every once in a while you go and roll amidst the boxes of syrup, cackling maniacally. "The FOOLS!" you say. "It's mine! All MIIINE MWAHAHAHAHA!!!"

"It's ours, it is, and we wants it! My precioussss!"