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It's Time to Clone My Manager

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  • It's Time to Clone My Manager

    So first thing's first, before the manager pwnage. Had a guy come up and here's how it went:

    Creepy Guy: Oh so I guess you won't be sharing those chips.
    Me: Nope.
    CG: I see how it is.
    Me: Well it was my 99 cents and you only get like half a bag anyway.
    CG: What kind are they?
    Me: *shows him back of "Dirty Chips"*
    CG: Oooooh, DIRTY chips, but you aren't a dirty girl are you?
    Me:
    CG: I'm SHOCKED AND APPALLED.

    Then he kinda just ran out of the store. After he turned around my CW started laughing so hard it was comical just to watch her laugh and I was like, "Did that really just happen to me? And did I really just give him that shit-eating grin?"

    Yep, I did.

    PWNAGE.

    (Imagine him sounding really scary with a deep voice. Guy looks like he could pound people into the ground.)

    SC: Where are your scratchies?
    AWESOME MANAGER: Right over there at CW's register.
    SC: *looks at them by cutting before some person at the register and then comes back to AM's line*
    AM: I'm sorry Sir, all lottery has to be rung out at CW's register right over there.
    SC: That's F*CKING RIDICULOUS, I--
    AM: Sir. You will not speak that way in my store. I don't want to hear it and other customers don't want to hear it.
    SC: I don't think that's very f*cking convenient!
    AM: It's for the benefit of the customers, please don't speak that way in my store.
    SC: *starts to mumble* I'll be speaking however I want, f*cking convenient for the cashiers, I hate this store, you're all--
    AM: I don't want to hear you talking like that in front of my customers, Sir, if that is all then you have a nice day.

    Me and CW were like:

  • #2
    Creepy guy is creepy...glad it was good for a laugh though (and that he left quickly!)

    Great pwnage indeed. So good to have managers who don't take any shit.
    "I was only LOOKING, I didn't mean to enter my card's CVV and actually ORDER! REFUND ME RIGHT NOW!!"

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    • #3
      Quoth Gaki View Post
      PWNAGE.

      (Imagine him sounding really scary with a deep voice. Guy looks like he could pound people into the ground.)
      Which one? The Sucktomer or Awesome Manager?

      I like to imagine it was Awesome Manager, using scary deep voice and scary badass appearance to force the Sucktomer into submission.

      YOU WILL NOT RUIN MY HAPPY FANTASY.
      PWNADE(TM) - Serve up a glass today! | PWNZER - An act of pwnage so awesome, it's like the victim got hit by a tank.

      There are only Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse because I choose to walk!

      Comment


      • #4
        Quoth Jay 2K Winger View Post
        Which one? The Sucktomer or Awesome Manager?

        I like to imagine it was Awesome Manager, using scary deep voice and scary badass appearance to force the Sucktomer into submission.

        YOU WILL NOT RUIN MY HAPPY FANTASY.
        I won't ruin your fantasy, I actually was talking about my manager. Guy is scary as shit. I couldn't believe someone would swear at him. My mom was really shocked, she was like, "Why would you swear at someone who could pop your head clean off?"

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        • #5
          Quoth Gaki View Post
          I won't ruin your fantasy, I actually was talking about my manager. Guy is scary as shit. I couldn't believe someone would swear at him. My mom was really shocked, she was like, "Why would you swear at someone who could pop your head clean off?"
          FANTASY IS REALITY!

          Truly, your Manager is AFW* and abso-tively, posi-lutely must be cloned posthaste.

          * - Awesome and Full of Win
          PWNADE(TM) - Serve up a glass today! | PWNZER - An act of pwnage so awesome, it's like the victim got hit by a tank.

          There are only Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse because I choose to walk!

          Comment


          • #6
            AM truly is awesome. So many MIM posts over spineless managers and here we get one who chucks a customer. And one who was actually going to pay regular price for an item. WOW!
            I'm trying to see things from your point of view, but I can't get my head that far up my keister!

            Who is John Galt?
            -Ayn Rand, Atlas Shrugged

            Comment


            • #7
              Quoth Jay 2K Winger View Post
              Truly, your Manager is AFW* and abso-tively, posi-lutely must be cloned posthaste.
              Don't forget he would need to be brought up in the exact same manner as the current Manager. Down to the last detail, or while you may have a big guy with a deep voice, he may be on the other side of the counter.

              SC

              PS: Thank you Boys From Brazil.
              "...four of his five wits went halting off, and now is the whole man governed with one..." W. Shakespeare, Much Ado About Nothing Act I, Sc I

              Do you like Shakespeare? Join us The Globe Theater!

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              • #8
                Quoth Jay 2K Winger View Post
                FANTASY IS REALITY!

                Truly, your Manager is AFW* and abso-tively, posi-lutely must be cloned posthaste.

                * - Awesome and Full of Win
                What I didn't know was that one time when I was gone off to school this woman was freaking out at my CW and my AM made this customer CRY. He just walked on over and in his deep voice he pretty much made this command: "Ma'am, you need to calm down."

                For some reason when he said that she just burst into tears and started crying.

                My manager makes customers cry. I'm so lucky.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Quoth Gaki View Post
                  My manager makes customers cry. I'm so lucky.
                  And Thursday before last I discovered my store manager (Naitch) can run a customer OUT of the store.

                  Here's what happened (short but sweet version)

                  Lady came into the store in her store uniform (she was from a rival grocery chain and worked at the location around the corner from us in Fancy Shopping Center.) She came through my line with a buggy filled with large quantities of several items.

                  I was just finishing up with the customer in front of her when Naitch came up behind the lady's cart and asked me to not ring up the order.

                  I secured the keyboard (basically standby mode) and watched as Naitch explained to the lady he could not let her purchase those items b/c their store had run out. He wasn't upset with her, per se, but he had called the DM to ask for clarification on our policy of selling to competitors and was told we couldn't do that b/c it would deplete our in stock quantities for our customers (we were in an off-truck day for us, so we wouldn't have any more coming until the next day and CAO had already placed the order for us for the next day so we'd still be short.)

                  He did say he'd call back to her store and have a chat with her manager about the matter. She quickly left the store and one of the baggers was called to take the items back to the shelf to restock.

                  After the lady left, Naitch was still steaming mad . . . so much so I saw steam coming from his ears and the veins in his neck were about to pop out.

                  He explained he'd call Ratboy (DM's assistant who we no longer have now in our area as of this week) and he was told to refuse the sale b/c it'd take away from our sales to individual customers.

                  I smiled and told him he'd done the right thing by calling for help (he's still learning and this is his first store as a store manager) and while he was outside having a smoke for his nerves, have one for me too.

                  Yep, it's hard sometimes trying to raise a good manager. But we're trying.
                  Human Resources - the adult version of "I'm telling Mom." - Agent Anthony "Tony" DiNozzo (NCIS)

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Quoth DGoddessChardonnay View Post
                    And Thursday before last I discovered my store manager (Naitch) can run a customer OUT of the store.

                    (snip)

                    After the lady left, Naitch was still steaming mad . . . so much so I saw steam coming from his ears and the veins in his neck were about to pop out.
                    You do realize that with your nickname for him, I'm picturing him tearing off his work vest and throwing it on the floor, then dropping an elbow on it, while ranting near-incoherently before spontaneously bleeding from the forehead, right?
                    PWNADE(TM) - Serve up a glass today! | PWNZER - An act of pwnage so awesome, it's like the victim got hit by a tank.

                    There are only Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse because I choose to walk!

                    Comment

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