Pathetic attempts at pick ups

[shelly2jn]

I had one boozy customer with a load of his friends one night and he just wouldn't let up about how he knew me from somewhere, how he'd seen me at 'blah nightclub' etc etc etc. I was starting to get a little bit po'd so I just looked him square in the eye and said

"Yes, you do know me, this is my part time job and at my full time job I'm a nurse at the VD clinic."

His friends roared and he slunk off blushing.

(I'm not really a nurse at the VD clinic )

[ThePhoneGoddess]

I don't know of any woman who has ever fallen for a line like that, MadMike...in fact I don't think I'd even want to be friends with a woman who fell for lines like that.

[MadMike]

His pickup line: "You must have a mirror on yoru butt because I can clearly see myself in your pants!"

Do these pathetic pickup lines ever actually work? I don't think I'd even want a woman who was stupid enough to go for one.

[Mongo Skruddgemire]

A friend of mine was the Idiot trying to do the pick-up lines. He used to drive delivery for a take-out place. One of the women working the kitchen was bragging all day on how she had saved up enough for a new truck and that it was freaking awesome owning a new truck, waxing poetic about the new car smell, and just in general chatting about the car to everyone she could.

My friend at the end of the day tried to be friendly with her (in a pathetic attempt) by going up to her and asking if she needed a ride home.

Durrrr!

[ThePhoneGoddess]

Argggh. I hate pickups. I'm 33 and look about 23, so I get hit on by a lot of young college guys when I'm out in public. Drives me batty. But at work I get bothered a lot because of my voice, which I am very well-known for. My voice is quite distinct; deep and smooth sounding but obviously feminine (or so I've been told.) Friends and relatives always know my voice and can pick it out in a crowd.

And I hate having it happen at work because over the years I've developed several quite snarky comebacks which i cannot use at work without risking a write-up. I have to bite my tongue and bear it. Grrr.

[Tigress]

Had a funny incident at work today. A guy in his 20s had a question about his power supply, which I answered for him. For the next ten minutes, he kept trying to think up more questions to ask me just to get me to talk to him.

Finally, my co-worker saw the dude's poor attempt at flirting and intercepted his final attempt as I got back to work on the machines I was working with. It spared him the embarrassment of eventually finding out that I'm married and older than he (probably) thinks.

[Knightmare]

Pick ups? That's what all the rednecks around here drive.
I haven't "picked up" a woman in years. I forgot how! I am so out of practice. And now that I am single again, I think I'd better learn.
Do you think I'll have any success with these lines?

[DarthRetard]

Mmmmmm tongue lashing......licorice.....verb fight? What? Nevermind me.

I have been known to introduce myself to girls "out of my league" by asking them for their myspace. (jokingly, of course, but it's a great icebreaker.)

[Becks]

A guy asked me how much I was

"You, sir, couldn't afford me if you had all the money ever minted in the history of the world."

[ArenaBoy]

Somewhere I posted about a guy trying to pick up a girl I work with. Just in case, this guy who was somewhat of the usual yuppies pulls in. The girl that was working with me looks a lot like Tara Reid so a lot of guys try and hit on her. This guy was dumb enough to ask to give her name to him. I just told him off for it. We've also gotten a girl who was just hired a few months back, she is quite attractive and has quite a temper. Bearing in mind that she is 17, she gets hit on by a lot of middle age guys. She deals with it in her own way, she not only leads them on but gives said creep the best tongue lashing (GET YOUR MIND OUT OF THE GUTTER!) I have ever seen.

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

One of the girls in electronics got hit on by one of the guys who works in one of the stores in the mall.

His pickup line: "You must have a mirror on yoru butt because I can clearly see myself in your pants!"

All together now: DUR HUR HUR!!!!

Scary thing is, he's now taken to stalking her. He happens to live in the same apartment building she lives in.

[BusBus]

A guy asked me how much I was when his wife was standing there.

That is horribly rude! Especially to you! I have no idea how his wife puts up with him....

[Imogene]

"Baby, are those space pants?"

That's one of my usual hellos to a friend of mine whenever she gets on AIM... Just cause I know she hates her job... a really poor attempt at a pick up line (from halfway across the country at that) usually gets her to smile. It probably doesn't hurt that she knows I would say it really deadpan, too...

[Blueberry]

I didn't see a thread like this, so I thought I might start one.

A guy buying 'How To Succeed With Women' tried to pick me up. He managed to somehow not notice the large wedding ring I had on. I laughed in his face and I kinda hoped he would have complained.

This also occured with several men buying 'The Game' which is about guys who call themselves a society of pick up artists. One came up to me in the street a week later and told me he had read the whole book through and could he try again?

A guy asked me how much I was when his wife was standing there. I said I didn't think my husband would appreciate his comments and his wife probably didn't either.