Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

Words fail me

Collapse
This topic is closed.
X
X
Collapse
 
  • Page of 2
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts
Previous 1 2 template Next
  • #1

    Words fail me

    We had some parents and kids from our local girls brigade instore today, packing bags to raise money. We love these things, especially when its the first saturday after the schools break up, as it really speeds folk through the tills and gets us some good PR with everyone. Everything was going fine until "Local Crazy Lady" (LCL) did some shopping.

    One of the parents asked "would you like help packing your bags?"

    LCL replied "No I wouldn't. PAEDOPHILE!"
    Tags: None
  • #2
    Uhm. Brzzzt. Wait, what? I'm sorry, that simply does not compute
    "For a musician, the SNES sound engine is like using Crayola Crayons. Nobuo Uematsu used Crayola Crayons to paint the Sistine Chapel." - Jeremy Jahns (re: "Dancing Mad")
    "The difference between an amateur and a master is that the master has failed way more times." - JoCat
    "Thinking is difficult, therefore let the herd pronounce judgment!" ~ Carl Jung
    "There's burning bridges, and then there's the lake just to fill it with gasoline." - Wiccy, reddit
    "Retail is a cruel master, and could very well be the most educational time of many people's lives, in its own twisted way." - me
    "Love keeps her in the air when she oughta fall down...tell you she's hurtin' 'fore she keens...makes her a home." - Capt. Malcolm Reynolds, "Serenity" (2005)
    Acts of Gord – Read it, Learn it, Love it!
    "Our psychic powers only work if the customer has a mind to read." - me

    Comment

    • #3
      OK, that's seriously crazy. Industrial-grade, even. WTF?
      When you start at zero, everything's progress.

      Comment

      • #4
        Brain go boom . . . Please wait while Morgana reboots . . .

        Say WHAT now?

        Comment

        • #5
          in her world anyone that voluntarily works with children is a paedo. so all teachers, nursey staff, medical staff, youth workers, scout leaders, school volunteers, etc

          In the same way that any man who goes near her is a "rapist"
          Last edited by energyguy; 07-24-2011, 09:33 AM.

          Comment

          • #6
            Quoth Bunny the Veggie Slayer View Post
            One of the parents asked "would you like help packing your bags?"

            LCL replied "No I wouldn't. (The state says I can't go too close to kid's 'cause I'm a) PAEDOPHILE!"
            Edited for clarity.

            Flood

            Comment

            • #7
              Owww...my brain just went 'fuck it!' and imploded in on itself. Does anyone have a spare I can borrow until I can get a new one?
              my favourite author is neil gaiman. - me
              it is? I don't like potatoes much. - the chatbot I was talking to

              Comment

              • #8
                Quoth Miss Maple Leaf View Post
                Owww...my brain just went 'fuck it!' and imploded in on itself. Does anyone have a spare I can borrow until I can get a new one?
                Sorry, Mine is barely hanging on. IQ levels down to 20% Captain. Estimate it'll take at least three days to bring the Main Energizers back online after a jolt like that.
                I never lost my faith in humanity. Can't lose what you never had right?

                Comment

                • #9
                  Quoth Mongo Skruddgemire View Post
                  IQ levels down to 20% Captain. Estimate it'll take at least three days to bring the Main Energizers back online after a jolt like that.
                  But we don't HAVE three days!!!!!
                  You gotta polish a memory like a stone. Chip off the parts that remind you it was just a game. Work it until it's indistinguishable from any other memory.

                  Comment

                  • #10
                    Ok, Bunny, you get to explain to my boss why I'm staring at the computer screen all day drooling because my brain is stuck in a reboot loop.
                    "If your day is filled with firefighting, you need to start taking the matches away from the toddlers…” - HM

                    Comment

                    • #11
                      Quoth energyguy View Post
                      in her world anyone that voluntarily works with children is a paedo. so all teachers, nursey staff, medical staff, youth workers, scout leaders, school volunteers, etc

                      In the same way that any man who goes near her is a "rapist"
                      Actually, now you mention it...

                      A little more info on LCL. Before she had her license revoked she would drive her car down the stree - while wearing a motorcycle helmet - and just stop in the middle of the lane when she wanted to get out. After being warned by the police (had to be a female PC, the local male bobby won't go near her for exactly the reason quoted above). She took to trying to park, but she would often just hit the car behind her and then drive off when she realised.

                      She will not suffer the slightest physical contact. She won't put money in your hand, if you hold your hand out she will move her hand back and forth until she spots an opening and puts the money on the counter. Giver her change? Faggedaboutit. For extra points ask her for her loyalty card, and when she snaps "NO!" politely ask if she would like one. The effect is like stroking a cats fur the wrong way with wire wool.

                      She once reported a man to the police because his car followed her when she drove home one time. He kinda had to follow her, he lived next door.

                      The really, really, scary thing. The one that keeps me awake at night. Is that she likes me. Why? What is it about me? Can she smell some crazy on me? Do I ping her loony-dar. I mean OK, I'll admit I'm a little different to most blokes my age. I'm late 30's, spend most of my time between working in a crappy job and caring for a very elderly mother that no-one has seen outside her home in years. But it's not like I've got a home whose walls are covered with stuffed birds.

                      Perhaps I just need to get out more. Maybe take up a new hobby. Perhaps taxidermy, that could be interesting... Hold on a minute.




                      Coming motherrrrr.

                      Comment

                      • #12
                        Ooo-Wee. I'll bet you have LOTS of stories about that one!

                        Reminds me of the women who called the police on the man taking pictures of kids on the playground...His own!
                        "If anyone wants this old box containing the broken bits of my former faith in humanity, I'll take your best offer now. You may be able to salvage a few of em' for parts..... " - Quote by Argabarga

                        Comment

                        • #13
                          Bunny -- I'm not entirely sure why but I have to restrain myself from calling you Bunnicula -- There's only one reasonable explanation: She's warm for your form.



                          OK, now that's out of the way. Maybe she just senses your "Caregiver" aura and thinks it applies to her for some inexplicable reason >_< Much like how customers are able to detect retail workers when out of their element, out of their uniform, and shopping in an unrelated store miles away from their place of work...
                          "For a musician, the SNES sound engine is like using Crayola Crayons. Nobuo Uematsu used Crayola Crayons to paint the Sistine Chapel." - Jeremy Jahns (re: "Dancing Mad")
                          "The difference between an amateur and a master is that the master has failed way more times." - JoCat
                          "Thinking is difficult, therefore let the herd pronounce judgment!" ~ Carl Jung
                          "There's burning bridges, and then there's the lake just to fill it with gasoline." - Wiccy, reddit
                          "Retail is a cruel master, and could very well be the most educational time of many people's lives, in its own twisted way." - me
                          "Love keeps her in the air when she oughta fall down...tell you she's hurtin' 'fore she keens...makes her a home." - Capt. Malcolm Reynolds, "Serenity" (2005)
                          Acts of Gord – Read it, Learn it, Love it!
                          "Our psychic powers only work if the customer has a mind to read." - me

                          Comment

                          • #14
                            Quoth EricKei View Post
                            Bunny -- I'm not entirely sure why but I have to restrain myself from calling you Bunnicula -- There's only one reasonable explanation: She's warm for your form.
                            Oh thank you VERY much for that image, I'll make sure I return the favour some time

                            Comment

                            • #15
                              Poor Bun-Bun! Do you need a place to hide?

                              Comment

                              Previous 1 2 template Next
                              Working...
                              X