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A How-To Guide for SC's
Inspired by Kisa's lovely customers; Based on true events.
How to Almost Lose a Finger
1) Order food
2) Pay in almost exact change so you will get $10 back
3) When the cashier grabs out two $5, ask for a $10
4) When she tells you she doesn't have any $10 yet, lean over the counter to look in her drawer
5) Say, in a snotty tone, that you see a bill in the slot for $10's
6) When she tells you it is a $2 bill, try to reach your fingers in the drawer to grab said bill
7) When she slams the drawer shut, thinking you were trying to steal, say, "Well that was uncalled for"!
8) Act very offended when the cashier offers no sympathy and asks you to take your food and leave
How to be an EW, minus the "E" with extra "W" and get kicked out
1) Walk in with 2 guys
2) Make sure you are holding guy1's hand tightly on your boob
3) Don't forget to wear a very low-cut top, no bra, hooker heels, and extremely short shorts with a hole on the leg so big it shows your panties
4) When you get in line, push guy1 away from you and start grinding on guy2
5) Giggle loudly
6) Let guy2 put his fingers in the giant hole in your shorts and ask him to do it more
7) Act offended when the cashier loudly asks you to order
8) Make sure guy2 doesn't stop touching you through your panties
9) Ask the cashier if she likes animals
10) If she says yes, tell her your kitty was playing with a rooster and a snake last night
11) When she tells you to order now or leave, tell her she needs to loosen up
12) Laugh loudly at the unintended(?) double entandre
13) While eating your food, touch guy1's crotch under the table
14) Make sure he gets super irritated until he yells that you are the worst sister in history
15) Get mad when the cashier dry heaves(INCEST!!!)
16) Say loud enough for her to hear that she needs a real man to loosen her up, followed by a comment about how that will never happen because she isn't pretty enough
17) Kick guy2 when he says, "I'd do her"
18) Yell at guy1 when he agrees
19) Loudly proclaim that you are taking guy2 to the bathroom to get your rocks off
20) When the cashier follows you and blocks you from dragging guy2 in, say you were kidding and brought her a gift
21) Shove guy2 into the cashier
22) When the cashier tells you to get out, tell her you wanted to get something for your boyfriend at home
23) Call her a slut and storm out when she refuses to serve you
How to be an ass with zero effort
1) Wait until an employee just finishes cleaning the fingerprints off the door to the restroom
2) Then, proceed to lick your hand and plant it firmly on the door leaving a nice, slobbery hand print
3) When she glares at you, walk to the other door and go to lick the same hand to repeat the process
4) When the employee tells you not to do that because she used a very strong cleaning fluid on the doors and doesn't want you to get sick, yell that it is illegal to do that and barge into the restroom to wash your hands
How to fail at being a scammer
1) Go to Taco Bell when Mr Dave the awesome manager is working
2) Order a chicken quesadilla and then complain that there isn't enough chicken on it and that you want it remade with extra chicken for free
3) When Mr Dave agrees(but really makes the same thing) wait until it just finished grilling and say you changed your mind and that you want 3 tostadas instead of the quesadilla
4) When Mr Dave tells you that the quesadilla is already done, say it's ok, you will keep the quesadilla as compensation
5) Say "WELL" when he chucks it in the garbage right in front of you
6) Argue with him when he says you can get 2 tostadas and ask for a manager
7) Cave when he says he is the manager and you can have 2 or have a refund
8) Take your (skimpy) tostadas and make sure the whole store knows how unhappy you are
How to be a dumbass and then just an ass
1) Go to Taco Bell and order 4 hard tacos
2) Gape at the total and shout that the total is way off
3) Tell the cashier that tacos are on sale, 4 for $1
4) Get very upset when the cashier tells you you are mistaken
5) Get out the ad you saw and show her
6) When she points out that the ad is from Del Taco and not Taco Bell, yell that she should have told you earlier and prevented you from looking stupid
7) Demand that she comp the price for your suffering
8) Leave when she tells you "no"
How to look like an idiot
1) Wait until our regular, Barry comes in(Barry always orders $50 worth of food)
2) When Barry's order is done and is carried up in 5 large bags, walk up to the counter behind Barry
3) When the cook says, "there you go Barry, these are all yours," Grab a hold of one bag and ask, "is this one mine"?
4) Don't let go when she says, "no, that is his"
5) Ask which bag is yours
6) Fake cry when she says, "none of them"
I will probably have more later, but that's it for now. Feel free to add "How-To's" of your own
How to Almost Lose a Finger
1) Order food
2) Pay in almost exact change so you will get $10 back
3) When the cashier grabs out two $5, ask for a $10
4) When she tells you she doesn't have any $10 yet, lean over the counter to look in her drawer
5) Say, in a snotty tone, that you see a bill in the slot for $10's
6) When she tells you it is a $2 bill, try to reach your fingers in the drawer to grab said bill
7) When she slams the drawer shut, thinking you were trying to steal, say, "Well that was uncalled for"!
8) Act very offended when the cashier offers no sympathy and asks you to take your food and leave
How to be an EW, minus the "E" with extra "W" and get kicked out
1) Walk in with 2 guys
2) Make sure you are holding guy1's hand tightly on your boob
3) Don't forget to wear a very low-cut top, no bra, hooker heels, and extremely short shorts with a hole on the leg so big it shows your panties
4) When you get in line, push guy1 away from you and start grinding on guy2
5) Giggle loudly
6) Let guy2 put his fingers in the giant hole in your shorts and ask him to do it more
7) Act offended when the cashier loudly asks you to order
8) Make sure guy2 doesn't stop touching you through your panties
9) Ask the cashier if she likes animals
10) If she says yes, tell her your kitty was playing with a rooster and a snake last night
11) When she tells you to order now or leave, tell her she needs to loosen up
12) Laugh loudly at the unintended(?) double entandre
13) While eating your food, touch guy1's crotch under the table
14) Make sure he gets super irritated until he yells that you are the worst sister in history
15) Get mad when the cashier dry heaves(INCEST!!!)
16) Say loud enough for her to hear that she needs a real man to loosen her up, followed by a comment about how that will never happen because she isn't pretty enough
17) Kick guy2 when he says, "I'd do her"
18) Yell at guy1 when he agrees
19) Loudly proclaim that you are taking guy2 to the bathroom to get your rocks off
20) When the cashier follows you and blocks you from dragging guy2 in, say you were kidding and brought her a gift
21) Shove guy2 into the cashier
22) When the cashier tells you to get out, tell her you wanted to get something for your boyfriend at home
23) Call her a slut and storm out when she refuses to serve you
How to be an ass with zero effort
1) Wait until an employee just finishes cleaning the fingerprints off the door to the restroom
2) Then, proceed to lick your hand and plant it firmly on the door leaving a nice, slobbery hand print
3) When she glares at you, walk to the other door and go to lick the same hand to repeat the process
4) When the employee tells you not to do that because she used a very strong cleaning fluid on the doors and doesn't want you to get sick, yell that it is illegal to do that and barge into the restroom to wash your hands
How to fail at being a scammer
1) Go to Taco Bell when Mr Dave the awesome manager is working
2) Order a chicken quesadilla and then complain that there isn't enough chicken on it and that you want it remade with extra chicken for free
3) When Mr Dave agrees(but really makes the same thing) wait until it just finished grilling and say you changed your mind and that you want 3 tostadas instead of the quesadilla
4) When Mr Dave tells you that the quesadilla is already done, say it's ok, you will keep the quesadilla as compensation
5) Say "WELL" when he chucks it in the garbage right in front of you
6) Argue with him when he says you can get 2 tostadas and ask for a manager
7) Cave when he says he is the manager and you can have 2 or have a refund
8) Take your (skimpy) tostadas and make sure the whole store knows how unhappy you are
How to be a dumbass and then just an ass
1) Go to Taco Bell and order 4 hard tacos
2) Gape at the total and shout that the total is way off
3) Tell the cashier that tacos are on sale, 4 for $1
4) Get very upset when the cashier tells you you are mistaken
5) Get out the ad you saw and show her
6) When she points out that the ad is from Del Taco and not Taco Bell, yell that she should have told you earlier and prevented you from looking stupid
7) Demand that she comp the price for your suffering
8) Leave when she tells you "no"
How to look like an idiot
1) Wait until our regular, Barry comes in(Barry always orders $50 worth of food)
2) When Barry's order is done and is carried up in 5 large bags, walk up to the counter behind Barry
3) When the cook says, "there you go Barry, these are all yours," Grab a hold of one bag and ask, "is this one mine"?
4) Don't let go when she says, "no, that is his"
5) Ask which bag is yours
6) Fake cry when she says, "none of them"
I will probably have more later, but that's it for now. Feel free to add "How-To's" of your own
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