Tweet
This happened a few nights before Christmas 2009, so I figured it was about time to regale the CS community with the story of the Ottoman Lady, as she is still known today.
Tonight's dramatis personæ:
Me:
M: Our CSM for the night.
B: The cashier at whose register this whole story begins.
E: The manager on duty on this night.
SC: If you can't figure this one out ...
SLSC: A (very) slightly less sucky customer. Acronyms are fun.
It's a couple of hours before the store closes, I'm at the service desk keeping busy and minding my own business when suddenly the one who will be known as SC comes stomping -- literally, stomping, up to the service desk and demands a manager. I promptly page such a person - M - up to the service desk. It takes her a few seconds to respond to the page; in the meantime, one of the cashiers comes up to help out at the service desk (somehow a line had already built up behind SC). I ask her to please go get M.
"I was just going to help get the line down," she tells me. In the time that it takes me to tell her to please go get M first, SC rounds on her and tells her that she "will help no one until [SC has] been helped!" Cashier scurries off rather quickly. I don't blame her.
M makes her way over to me, and SC word-vomits her entire story over the two of us. Apparently, she'd been checking out with B and had purchased (along with $250 in additional merchandise) a four-foot-long leather ottoman. B, of course, does not put the ottoman in a bag because this is not even theoretically possible, much less physically. SC takes severe offense to this and flips the hell out. SLSC, in line behind her, decides she will not stand for this and apparently tells SC to "shut the hell up and go away so we can all move on with our lives." SC is further offended, and decides to complain to the service desk.
Just as our SC finishes dropping this story on us, SLSC comes past and has more words for SC. "I don't know what's wrong with you, but you need to get a life!"
I don't think I've ever seen anyone move as fast as SC does, as she goes to confront her new best friend. I call for E -- like, right the hell now would be good -- and start wondering if I'm going have to be a witness in a police report. E comes by and pulls SC back to the service desk, while M walks SLSC out of the store. M does not return immediately -- remember this, it's important later.
E gives SC 30% off her purchase. I'm not thrilled, but at least it means she's going to go away, I think. (This is where I learn not to tempt fate.) She stomps out of the store, and I prepare to move along with my life.
Maybe thirty seconds pass before SC makes her next appearance. "That employee (M) and that customer (SLSC) are harassing me! I'm calling the police!" She proceeds to do so. At this point, M re-enters the store. SC swings around and pushes her hand in M's face, nearly striking her, and tells E to "get her away from me, I have nothing to say to her!" M looks like she's about to cry and moves far, far away very quickly. SC proceeds to leave, again.
Our loyal cart attendant come sinto the store at this point and makes a point of telling E, within many people's hearing range, that he'd seen everything outside, and neither M nor SLSC had done anything at all to SC, but that SC had been trying to instigate a fight with them. This makes SC a liar, in addition to her many other wonderful personality traits.
About ten minutes later, our friendly local police representative appears. He talks briefly to E, discovers that SC is batshit insane, and leaves.
After consideration, management decides to drop a banhammer on both customers.
And thus ends the saga of the Ottoman Lady.
Tonight's dramatis personæ:
Me:
M: Our CSM for the night.
B: The cashier at whose register this whole story begins.
E: The manager on duty on this night.
SC: If you can't figure this one out ...
SLSC: A (very) slightly less sucky customer. Acronyms are fun.
It's a couple of hours before the store closes, I'm at the service desk keeping busy and minding my own business when suddenly the one who will be known as SC comes stomping -- literally, stomping, up to the service desk and demands a manager. I promptly page such a person - M - up to the service desk. It takes her a few seconds to respond to the page; in the meantime, one of the cashiers comes up to help out at the service desk (somehow a line had already built up behind SC). I ask her to please go get M.
"I was just going to help get the line down," she tells me. In the time that it takes me to tell her to please go get M first, SC rounds on her and tells her that she "will help no one until [SC has] been helped!" Cashier scurries off rather quickly. I don't blame her.
M makes her way over to me, and SC word-vomits her entire story over the two of us. Apparently, she'd been checking out with B and had purchased (along with $250 in additional merchandise) a four-foot-long leather ottoman. B, of course, does not put the ottoman in a bag because this is not even theoretically possible, much less physically. SC takes severe offense to this and flips the hell out. SLSC, in line behind her, decides she will not stand for this and apparently tells SC to "shut the hell up and go away so we can all move on with our lives." SC is further offended, and decides to complain to the service desk.
Just as our SC finishes dropping this story on us, SLSC comes past and has more words for SC. "I don't know what's wrong with you, but you need to get a life!"
I don't think I've ever seen anyone move as fast as SC does, as she goes to confront her new best friend. I call for E -- like, right the hell now would be good -- and start wondering if I'm going have to be a witness in a police report. E comes by and pulls SC back to the service desk, while M walks SLSC out of the store. M does not return immediately -- remember this, it's important later.
E gives SC 30% off her purchase. I'm not thrilled, but at least it means she's going to go away, I think. (This is where I learn not to tempt fate.) She stomps out of the store, and I prepare to move along with my life.
Maybe thirty seconds pass before SC makes her next appearance. "That employee (M) and that customer (SLSC) are harassing me! I'm calling the police!" She proceeds to do so. At this point, M re-enters the store. SC swings around and pushes her hand in M's face, nearly striking her, and tells E to "get her away from me, I have nothing to say to her!" M looks like she's about to cry and moves far, far away very quickly. SC proceeds to leave, again.
Our loyal cart attendant come sinto the store at this point and makes a point of telling E, within many people's hearing range, that he'd seen everything outside, and neither M nor SLSC had done anything at all to SC, but that SC had been trying to instigate a fight with them. This makes SC a liar, in addition to her many other wonderful personality traits.
About ten minutes later, our friendly local police representative appears. He talks briefly to E, discovers that SC is batshit insane, and leaves.
After consideration, management decides to drop a banhammer on both customers.
And thus ends the saga of the Ottoman Lady.
?
Comment