Tweet
Don't Lie To Me, Young Man
I can see through your petty deceptions.
Thanks for Sharing
SC: “My neighbor continuously parties”
Well, that is problematic. I can certainly advise security to go knock on her door.
SC: “I guess she comes home from her stripper thing.”
That….is an answer to a question I did not ask. In fact I can state, with 100% confidence, that we do not currently have a single line where we are required to ask “Do they dance naked on a stage for a living?”.
SC: “She strips.”
Yes, I gathered that. I do not understand why you feel this is so important that you must keep repeating it. But yes, I understand. She takes off her clothes to 80’s rock music as a career choice. Rest assured, you have insured I am now awkwardly aware of this. You do not have to keep repeating it.
SC: “She brings random guys home”
Most curious, I do not recall answering the line with “The Jerry Springer Show”.
SC: “She just woke us all up. You know my granddaughter?”
Er….no? Should I? Who exactly do you think I am, anyway?
SC: “She’s always like this. She strips.”
…Wait, your granddaughter does? We’re talking about your granddaughter the stripper? …..Hey, wait a sec, why do you think I would know her if she’s a stripper? I feel I should be somewhat insulted here.
SC: She doesn’t even have her kid, her grandmother looks after it.”
Aren’t you her grandmother? What in the world is going on here? You spent 5 seconds telling me the actual problem than 2 minutes outlining questionable family drama. This isn’t a taping of Maury Povich. I can help with that whole noise thing, but if you need someone to look concerned and hold a microphone up to your face, I fear I cannot assist you.
I Give Up
here are certain questions I do not expect to have to ask myself on my way to work. One of them being “Why is that guy dressed like a cowboy?”. I fear I have not found any answer to my inquiry. I don’t mean he had on just the hat either. He had the hat, vest, boots, spurs and leather chaps. But was in a group with 4 friends, none of whom were dressed in any sort of costume. But all of whom did not seem to find it odd or perplexing in any way that one of them was dressed like a cowboy in the middle of the night in downtown Vancouver.
Which is probably the most alarming part. That this happens so often none of his friends even bat an eyelash at it anymore.
Hot Tips
SC: “My name is Jose”
Hello, Jose and welcome to the club! We’ve been a bit slim on members lately with only Uncle Vick and the president of Prince Charle’s fan club calling. So it’s always nice to see a new face! Now, what can I do for you and what medication are you suppose to be taking that you likely aren’t?
SC: “I don’t believe I’m a psychic, but-“
That is an awfully big “but”, Agent Jose.
SC: “There is a very important thing happening in Afghanistan”
Oh, you noticed did you? Word must travel pretty damn slow where you’re from.
SC: “They’re digging a tunnel right under the troops!”
They are, are they? A….tunnel, you say? You’re right, this is important! Why, just let me check my directory here. I’m not 100% sure if Obama’s on call tonight. He’s usually only on on the weekends. But I can at least get you Biden. Which, I admit, may not be particular helpful. But someone must know!
What Do You Think?
SC: “Did I make it in time for the deadline that ends tomorrow?”
….must I really answer this question? It does appear to answer itself quite neatly. Unless you are under the impression some sort of temporal disturbance has occurred and the continuity of our time line can no longer be trusted. In which case perhaps it might be possible for tomorrow to have already occurred. But, seeing as the first thing you said in the call was “Yes, I’d like to place an order” and not “Oh god I’m hurdling through time. Please help, the Chronomancers are upon me!” I will assume you simply did not think your question all the way through.
Hot Tips
SC: “Right now I have a, I saw somebody, the government of Afghanistan is digging a tunnel under the troops in Afghanistan to blow them up!”
Oh, the government is digging the tunnel? Oh my, that is serious! By the way, you do realize that the “troops” in question are spread out across the whole country and not actually all huddled in one location. Never mind for long enough to get a tunnel dug under them. So if you really want to be of any help with fantastical psychic powers you’ll have to get a wee bit more specific.
SC: “I have that in my mind!”
I’m sure you have many, many things in your mind. But contrary to what you were taught in kindergarten, just because you have lots of something doesn’t necessarily mean you should be sharing it with others.
Hot Tips
SC: “I have some news for you.”
You found your medication and are just calling back to apologize?
SC: “I don’t know if you want to listen to me”
Well, I never! I can’t see where you could have possibly gotten that impression from me hanging up on you all night.
SC: “Or shall I call Pennsylvania avenue?”
…You….want to call the White House directly? Well, by all means. You go right ahead then. I’m sure they’ll be much more helpful and capable than we are. Specifically, I’m sure they’re more capable of adding you to an FBI watch list than I am.
SC: “I’m a psychic.”
Oh, you are a psychic now? Well, congratulations on overcoming your previous self doubt and truly embracing your supposed powers. Now that you’ve come to know and accept yourself, you can start being the “late night sitting on the couch with a Cheeto stuck in your navel watching CNN mumbling to yourself” hero you were always meant to be.
Revolution
Me: “And the item number, please?”
SC: “Excuse me? Item number?!”
Er, my apologies. I didn’t realize that Nunavut had undergone a glorious revolution in the last 24 hours and “Item number” was now considered a heinous cultural faux pas. A bitter remnant of the cruelty and mercilessness of your former leaders whom you’ve struggled so long again. So, now that you’ve thrown off the oppression yoke of your pants obsessed overlords, how are you going to celebrate your new found freedom?
What’s that? By ordering some pants? Very well then.
I Am?
Me: “And you're calling from Florida?”
SC: “You’re asking me a lot of personal questions.”
You have a peculiar definition of “personal question”. See, “Are you calling from Florida?” is not a personal question. A personal question is something more like “Boxers or briefs?”. The state that you are currently standing in is not a personal question. The type and article of undergarment you’re currently wearing to cover your uncharted territories would be a personal question. Note how I have not actually asked you that question. Having instead opting to ask about yourstate of residence simply to ensure I direct you to the correct location. Thus I am not asking you a personal question. Let alone several.
Also, just for the record, neither we nor our cliente has any interest in your underwear. If you wish, I do have a comments field so I can pass along any personal details you may want to share such as the size and style of your undergarments. But I can’t guarantee that they wouldn’t impact your chances for a return call.
Suspicion
Me: “I’m sorry, but you have the wrong number.”
SC: “This isn’t a cab?”
Me: “No”
SC: “……okay”
….that was an oddly suspicious sounding agreement. I’m not hiding the cab from you, you know. I’m quite honestly not a cab dispatcher. Regardless of what you may think. I’m not a cab dispatcher whom you’ve just caught changing out of his costume and is now desperately trying to hide his secret identity.
And Gosh Darn It, People Like Me
SC: “I’m sorry I’m not phoning you to order a ticket.”
Seeing as that comprises 98.7% of my function on this line, I fear you may be hurdling headlong towards disappointment. The options here are quite limited, you know. If you don’t want to order a ticket, about the only other functions I can possibly perform are telling you where else you can order a ticket, adjusting an order you already placed for a ticket or telling you how and when you might win fabulous prizes with a ticket. Which you could order. Right now. If you want.
Just say the word.
SC: “I just wanted to make a suggestion”
Ah, very well. I control absolutely nothing about the lottery and have utterly no way of passing on any of your suggestions in the dead of night. But by all means, go right ahead.
SC: “I deserve to get one”
Yes, well, I deserve a pony. But sadly Mr Winkles has failed to materialize before me thus far.
SC: “But I can’t afford them. You should sell them cheaper.”
Not nessaccary a bad suggestion, though your presentation could use some work. It just has two key flaws: The first being that you are speaking with absolutely the wrong person and the hour you’re calling ensures that the right person couldn’t possibly be available. So nothing you tell me will ever go beyond this point.
SC: “I’m sure you miss a lot of people that would pay for them if they were cheaper.”
Annnnnd the second problem is that it doesn’t technically matter if we miss a lot of people. Because if there’s one thing this province loves it’s a lottery. Regardless of the price tag. Ensuring that practically every lottery we've done for the last 6 or 7 years has totally sold out or come close too it. There is no short fall of people that lust for our magnificent prize homes, beautiful luggage and luxurious Future Shop gift cards.
Lies!
( I can put up with many, many things, but blatantly lying to my face is one of the few that will raise true ire. )
SC: “Did I make it for the midnight deadline?”
The fact you’re asking informs me you are already aware that you have missed said deadline. Yet you are clinging to a final shred of hope none the less. But I fear the clock says 12:15am, and whatever hopes you may have had have already passed.
SC: “But you guys had me on hold for such a long time!”
…..Interesting. Now, normally I would concede that deadlines can get quite busy and apologize. However, your claim is blatantly and demonstrably false. Not only was the call queue been completely empty for the last 20 minutes, but my metrics inform me that no one has waited on hold for more than 1.37 minutes in the last hour. So, for your information, you were technically only on hold for a little over a minute.
This would seem to indicate that you are actively and willfully attempting nefarious deception.
Me: “I’m sorry, but it’s 12:15 now so it’s already passed”
SC: “I was holding on the line! YOU guys took so long to answer the phone!”
…you’re really going to try and run with this, aren’t you? Sigh. Must we really do this? You do realize that we use amazing devices known as “computers” which actually keep track of when you call, how long you’ve been on hold, etc? I am not struggling within the darkness of ignorance, completely unaware of who, what or why calls keep appearing before me. I have a host of peculiar things known as “facts” which are irrefutable and seem to strongly suggest you are attempting to blatantly deceive me.
Which I must point out is not a course of action I appreciate.
SC: “Do you have a supervisor I can speak too?”
Really? I mean…really? You’re willing to try and run that far with this silliness? You think you can try and override me, whom you percieve as a peon apparently, by going over my head and whining to my superior?
Allow me to illustrate the multitude of flaws with this plan: A) I am the supervisor on this shift. B) Supervisors can, as I have already done, confirm or deny your claims via the magic known as technology.
Oh, and my personal favourite: C) It doesn't matter anyway. If you missed a deadline due to being on hold too long the rules are basically: "Too bad, so sad, you had 2 months to call already. Don't leave it till the last minute next time."
SC: “What if I order online?”
I fear I do not comprehend this question. Are you suggesting that our webpage exists in the past? That the mere act of logging onto it would send you hurdling backwards through time? I fear that the time is the time, and that it is a universal constant that cannot be manipulated with the power of AOL.
SC: “How many other deadlines are there?”
There are still many other deadlines for a bountiful of fabulous prizes. While you may have missed but one, there are still several to go with many wondrous items still eligible to be won by your grasping monkey paws. This is not the end of the world, it is only a minor disappointment. You’ll be fine. Life is good. Come on, you can do this!
SC: “When’s the next one?"
That’s the spirit! Look forward! There is plenty of opportunity on the horizon!
SC: "I guess your computers tell you different, but I was holding for at least 20 minutes.”
Me: "I'm sorry, sir, but no you were not according to our system."
Damn it, lad. You were so close! I was a fool to trust you. It was all just another ruse, wasn’t it? You were just trying to keep me talking long enough for you to do the math in your head and figure out how long you’d have to claim to be on hold to have called before the deadline.
SC: “What’s your name? I was holding for 20 minutes! You’re going to deny the fact I was holding for 20 minutes?”
Why yes, actually I can deny the “fact” you were holding for 20 minutes. Ironically, I can do this with the fact you were holding for a minute and a half. My facts are superior and triumph over your fact. You have unwisely attempted to bring a level 1 Squirtle against my level 10 Pikachu. Only to discover that all of my facts are super effective.
And that I am a nerd.
Eeeewwwww
SC: “My fridge isn’t working!”
Oh, well, that is problematic. Let me just get a service request started for you, for maintenance....
SC: “I’m afraid I’m going to get BOTULISM! Some of my food has already gone bad and I think my ice cream was bad.”
Oookay….you know the easiest way to avoid that would be to, say, not eat anything that’s spoiling in your fridge. Novel idea, I know. But if it smells funny, perhaps you shouldn't be putting it in your mouth. Especially dairy.
SC: “I put in the first repair request on the 18th and no one called.”
….wait wait wait, your fridge went out on the 18th but you’ve still been eating out of it ever since?
....are you calling from the hospital?
Nitpick
11:54pm:
Tenant calls to complain that front door to building is not closing.
1:09am:
Tenant calls to complain door is not yet fixed and everyone inside the building is in great danger because everyone inside the building is a woman. Apparently, the burden of a vagina has rendered all those within incapable of self defence.
1:53am:
Tenant calls to complain while door is fixed, you have to push it a little to close it now. Tenant considers this a crisis on par with the door being broken in the first place.
1:56am:
On call maintenance expresses complete and total apathy. Using words that cannot be repeated in polite company.
1:57am:
Tenant is sad.
I Hate You
You, yes you, the person I see on my call board fluttering in and out of the call queue like a juiced up humming bird. You know who you are. The person who thinks that if they've been on hold for a while the best option is to hang up and call back, thus putting themselves right back to the end of the queue. Then will have the gall to complain about how long they've been on hold when they could have been assisted 10 minutes ago had they just stayed on the line for more than 30 seconds.
So many people do this, and it drives me crazy. I fail to see the logic behind it. It's like waiting in line at the movie theatre, then stepping out of the line and walking to the back of it every couple of minutes thinking that will get you to the front sooner. How could you possibly think that would work?
annnnd rest.
Thanks for Sharing
SC: “My neighbor continuously parties”
Well, that is problematic. I can certainly advise security to go knock on her door.
SC: “I guess she comes home from her stripper thing.”
That….is an answer to a question I did not ask. In fact I can state, with 100% confidence, that we do not currently have a single line where we are required to ask “Do they dance naked on a stage for a living?”.
SC: “She strips.”
Yes, I gathered that. I do not understand why you feel this is so important that you must keep repeating it. But yes, I understand. She takes off her clothes to 80’s rock music as a career choice. Rest assured, you have insured I am now awkwardly aware of this. You do not have to keep repeating it.
SC: “She brings random guys home”
Most curious, I do not recall answering the line with “The Jerry Springer Show”.
SC: “She just woke us all up. You know my granddaughter?”
Er….no? Should I? Who exactly do you think I am, anyway?
SC: “She’s always like this. She strips.”
…Wait, your granddaughter does? We’re talking about your granddaughter the stripper? …..Hey, wait a sec, why do you think I would know her if she’s a stripper? I feel I should be somewhat insulted here.
SC: She doesn’t even have her kid, her grandmother looks after it.”
Aren’t you her grandmother? What in the world is going on here? You spent 5 seconds telling me the actual problem than 2 minutes outlining questionable family drama. This isn’t a taping of Maury Povich. I can help with that whole noise thing, but if you need someone to look concerned and hold a microphone up to your face, I fear I cannot assist you.
I Give Up
here are certain questions I do not expect to have to ask myself on my way to work. One of them being “Why is that guy dressed like a cowboy?”. I fear I have not found any answer to my inquiry. I don’t mean he had on just the hat either. He had the hat, vest, boots, spurs and leather chaps. But was in a group with 4 friends, none of whom were dressed in any sort of costume. But all of whom did not seem to find it odd or perplexing in any way that one of them was dressed like a cowboy in the middle of the night in downtown Vancouver.
Which is probably the most alarming part. That this happens so often none of his friends even bat an eyelash at it anymore.
Hot Tips
SC: “My name is Jose”
Hello, Jose and welcome to the club! We’ve been a bit slim on members lately with only Uncle Vick and the president of Prince Charle’s fan club calling. So it’s always nice to see a new face! Now, what can I do for you and what medication are you suppose to be taking that you likely aren’t?
SC: “I don’t believe I’m a psychic, but-“
That is an awfully big “but”, Agent Jose.
SC: “There is a very important thing happening in Afghanistan”
Oh, you noticed did you? Word must travel pretty damn slow where you’re from.
SC: “They’re digging a tunnel right under the troops!”
They are, are they? A….tunnel, you say? You’re right, this is important! Why, just let me check my directory here. I’m not 100% sure if Obama’s on call tonight. He’s usually only on on the weekends. But I can at least get you Biden. Which, I admit, may not be particular helpful. But someone must know!
What Do You Think?
SC: “Did I make it in time for the deadline that ends tomorrow?”
….must I really answer this question? It does appear to answer itself quite neatly. Unless you are under the impression some sort of temporal disturbance has occurred and the continuity of our time line can no longer be trusted. In which case perhaps it might be possible for tomorrow to have already occurred. But, seeing as the first thing you said in the call was “Yes, I’d like to place an order” and not “Oh god I’m hurdling through time. Please help, the Chronomancers are upon me!” I will assume you simply did not think your question all the way through.
Hot Tips
SC: “Right now I have a, I saw somebody, the government of Afghanistan is digging a tunnel under the troops in Afghanistan to blow them up!”
Oh, the government is digging the tunnel? Oh my, that is serious! By the way, you do realize that the “troops” in question are spread out across the whole country and not actually all huddled in one location. Never mind for long enough to get a tunnel dug under them. So if you really want to be of any help with fantastical psychic powers you’ll have to get a wee bit more specific.
SC: “I have that in my mind!”
I’m sure you have many, many things in your mind. But contrary to what you were taught in kindergarten, just because you have lots of something doesn’t necessarily mean you should be sharing it with others.
Hot Tips
SC: “I have some news for you.”
You found your medication and are just calling back to apologize?
SC: “I don’t know if you want to listen to me”
Well, I never! I can’t see where you could have possibly gotten that impression from me hanging up on you all night.
SC: “Or shall I call Pennsylvania avenue?”
…You….want to call the White House directly? Well, by all means. You go right ahead then. I’m sure they’ll be much more helpful and capable than we are. Specifically, I’m sure they’re more capable of adding you to an FBI watch list than I am.
SC: “I’m a psychic.”
Oh, you are a psychic now? Well, congratulations on overcoming your previous self doubt and truly embracing your supposed powers. Now that you’ve come to know and accept yourself, you can start being the “late night sitting on the couch with a Cheeto stuck in your navel watching CNN mumbling to yourself” hero you were always meant to be.
Revolution
Me: “And the item number, please?”
SC: “Excuse me? Item number?!”
Er, my apologies. I didn’t realize that Nunavut had undergone a glorious revolution in the last 24 hours and “Item number” was now considered a heinous cultural faux pas. A bitter remnant of the cruelty and mercilessness of your former leaders whom you’ve struggled so long again. So, now that you’ve thrown off the oppression yoke of your pants obsessed overlords, how are you going to celebrate your new found freedom?
What’s that? By ordering some pants? Very well then.
I Am?
Me: “And you're calling from Florida?”
SC: “You’re asking me a lot of personal questions.”
You have a peculiar definition of “personal question”. See, “Are you calling from Florida?” is not a personal question. A personal question is something more like “Boxers or briefs?”. The state that you are currently standing in is not a personal question. The type and article of undergarment you’re currently wearing to cover your uncharted territories would be a personal question. Note how I have not actually asked you that question. Having instead opting to ask about yourstate of residence simply to ensure I direct you to the correct location. Thus I am not asking you a personal question. Let alone several.
Also, just for the record, neither we nor our cliente has any interest in your underwear. If you wish, I do have a comments field so I can pass along any personal details you may want to share such as the size and style of your undergarments. But I can’t guarantee that they wouldn’t impact your chances for a return call.
Suspicion
Me: “I’m sorry, but you have the wrong number.”
SC: “This isn’t a cab?”
Me: “No”
SC: “……okay”
….that was an oddly suspicious sounding agreement. I’m not hiding the cab from you, you know. I’m quite honestly not a cab dispatcher. Regardless of what you may think. I’m not a cab dispatcher whom you’ve just caught changing out of his costume and is now desperately trying to hide his secret identity.
And Gosh Darn It, People Like Me
SC: “I’m sorry I’m not phoning you to order a ticket.”
Seeing as that comprises 98.7% of my function on this line, I fear you may be hurdling headlong towards disappointment. The options here are quite limited, you know. If you don’t want to order a ticket, about the only other functions I can possibly perform are telling you where else you can order a ticket, adjusting an order you already placed for a ticket or telling you how and when you might win fabulous prizes with a ticket. Which you could order. Right now. If you want.
Just say the word.
SC: “I just wanted to make a suggestion”
Ah, very well. I control absolutely nothing about the lottery and have utterly no way of passing on any of your suggestions in the dead of night. But by all means, go right ahead.
SC: “I deserve to get one”
Yes, well, I deserve a pony. But sadly Mr Winkles has failed to materialize before me thus far.
SC: “But I can’t afford them. You should sell them cheaper.”
Not nessaccary a bad suggestion, though your presentation could use some work. It just has two key flaws: The first being that you are speaking with absolutely the wrong person and the hour you’re calling ensures that the right person couldn’t possibly be available. So nothing you tell me will ever go beyond this point.
SC: “I’m sure you miss a lot of people that would pay for them if they were cheaper.”
Annnnnd the second problem is that it doesn’t technically matter if we miss a lot of people. Because if there’s one thing this province loves it’s a lottery. Regardless of the price tag. Ensuring that practically every lottery we've done for the last 6 or 7 years has totally sold out or come close too it. There is no short fall of people that lust for our magnificent prize homes, beautiful luggage and luxurious Future Shop gift cards.
Lies!
( I can put up with many, many things, but blatantly lying to my face is one of the few that will raise true ire. )
SC: “Did I make it for the midnight deadline?”
The fact you’re asking informs me you are already aware that you have missed said deadline. Yet you are clinging to a final shred of hope none the less. But I fear the clock says 12:15am, and whatever hopes you may have had have already passed.
SC: “But you guys had me on hold for such a long time!”
…..Interesting. Now, normally I would concede that deadlines can get quite busy and apologize. However, your claim is blatantly and demonstrably false. Not only was the call queue been completely empty for the last 20 minutes, but my metrics inform me that no one has waited on hold for more than 1.37 minutes in the last hour. So, for your information, you were technically only on hold for a little over a minute.
This would seem to indicate that you are actively and willfully attempting nefarious deception.
Me: “I’m sorry, but it’s 12:15 now so it’s already passed”
SC: “I was holding on the line! YOU guys took so long to answer the phone!”
…you’re really going to try and run with this, aren’t you? Sigh. Must we really do this? You do realize that we use amazing devices known as “computers” which actually keep track of when you call, how long you’ve been on hold, etc? I am not struggling within the darkness of ignorance, completely unaware of who, what or why calls keep appearing before me. I have a host of peculiar things known as “facts” which are irrefutable and seem to strongly suggest you are attempting to blatantly deceive me.
Which I must point out is not a course of action I appreciate.
SC: “Do you have a supervisor I can speak too?”
Really? I mean…really? You’re willing to try and run that far with this silliness? You think you can try and override me, whom you percieve as a peon apparently, by going over my head and whining to my superior?
Allow me to illustrate the multitude of flaws with this plan: A) I am the supervisor on this shift. B) Supervisors can, as I have already done, confirm or deny your claims via the magic known as technology.
Oh, and my personal favourite: C) It doesn't matter anyway. If you missed a deadline due to being on hold too long the rules are basically: "Too bad, so sad, you had 2 months to call already. Don't leave it till the last minute next time."
SC: “What if I order online?”
I fear I do not comprehend this question. Are you suggesting that our webpage exists in the past? That the mere act of logging onto it would send you hurdling backwards through time? I fear that the time is the time, and that it is a universal constant that cannot be manipulated with the power of AOL.
SC: “How many other deadlines are there?”
There are still many other deadlines for a bountiful of fabulous prizes. While you may have missed but one, there are still several to go with many wondrous items still eligible to be won by your grasping monkey paws. This is not the end of the world, it is only a minor disappointment. You’ll be fine. Life is good. Come on, you can do this!
SC: “When’s the next one?"
That’s the spirit! Look forward! There is plenty of opportunity on the horizon!
SC: "I guess your computers tell you different, but I was holding for at least 20 minutes.”
Me: "I'm sorry, sir, but no you were not according to our system."
Damn it, lad. You were so close! I was a fool to trust you. It was all just another ruse, wasn’t it? You were just trying to keep me talking long enough for you to do the math in your head and figure out how long you’d have to claim to be on hold to have called before the deadline.
SC: “What’s your name? I was holding for 20 minutes! You’re going to deny the fact I was holding for 20 minutes?”
Why yes, actually I can deny the “fact” you were holding for 20 minutes. Ironically, I can do this with the fact you were holding for a minute and a half. My facts are superior and triumph over your fact. You have unwisely attempted to bring a level 1 Squirtle against my level 10 Pikachu. Only to discover that all of my facts are super effective.
And that I am a nerd.
Eeeewwwww
SC: “My fridge isn’t working!”
Oh, well, that is problematic. Let me just get a service request started for you, for maintenance....
SC: “I’m afraid I’m going to get BOTULISM! Some of my food has already gone bad and I think my ice cream was bad.”
Oookay….you know the easiest way to avoid that would be to, say, not eat anything that’s spoiling in your fridge. Novel idea, I know. But if it smells funny, perhaps you shouldn't be putting it in your mouth. Especially dairy.
SC: “I put in the first repair request on the 18th and no one called.”
….wait wait wait, your fridge went out on the 18th but you’ve still been eating out of it ever since?
....are you calling from the hospital?
Nitpick
11:54pm:
Tenant calls to complain that front door to building is not closing.
1:09am:
Tenant calls to complain door is not yet fixed and everyone inside the building is in great danger because everyone inside the building is a woman. Apparently, the burden of a vagina has rendered all those within incapable of self defence.
1:53am:
Tenant calls to complain while door is fixed, you have to push it a little to close it now. Tenant considers this a crisis on par with the door being broken in the first place.
1:56am:
On call maintenance expresses complete and total apathy. Using words that cannot be repeated in polite company.
1:57am:
Tenant is sad.
I Hate You
You, yes you, the person I see on my call board fluttering in and out of the call queue like a juiced up humming bird. You know who you are. The person who thinks that if they've been on hold for a while the best option is to hang up and call back, thus putting themselves right back to the end of the queue. Then will have the gall to complain about how long they've been on hold when they could have been assisted 10 minutes ago had they just stayed on the line for more than 30 seconds.
So many people do this, and it drives me crazy. I fail to see the logic behind it. It's like waiting in line at the movie theatre, then stepping out of the line and walking to the back of it every couple of minutes thinking that will get you to the front sooner. How could you possibly think that would work?
annnnd rest.
Comment