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Super-Sucky Firelane Suck-Fest With Bonus WTF
I was walking my rounds outdoors today. Going up and down in front of *al *art I was checking handicap parking and, if someone was in the fire lane for more than 3-minutes, I asked them to move. I walked-up to one vehicle, the driver (a middle-aged to older gentleman) who tried to ignore me.
Cast:
Me = Me
Cart Boy = CB
Sucky Man = SM
Sucky Girl = SG
Sucky Girl 2 = SG2
I said "excuse me sir, could you please find a parking spot or the lot because you can't sit in the fire lane." He began puffing-up like a poisonous frog.
SM = "I, well...WHO DO YOU WORK FOR!?!? (&^&^$$%^^%^!!!"
Me = "I work for the Mall sir, and this store is part of the mall so I'm patroling..."
SM = "I'm waiting for my wife! We spend $ here and she's coming out with it and we'll just bring everything back if you don't appreciate our business!"
Me = "Well sir, you still can't sit in the fire lane. When your wife comes out with the groceries you can pull up and load."
SM = "I'm not PARKED! I'm WAITING! If there's a fire I'll move!"
Me = "It doesn't work like, you can either move or I can write you a ticket." At this point a cart guy who'd been watching the exchange came by and said:
CB = "Why can't you just move like she asked you to? Nobody else had a problem but you."
SM = (Turning red) "You...This is none of your business! You just stick to pushing your carts! I'll return everything and never shop here again...." He continued bitching as he FINALLY pulled out of the fire lane. I thanked CB for the back-up and went on my way.
5-Minutes later.
SM pulls BACK into the fire lane, directly in front of me where I'm standing and, keeping eye contact, deliberately gets out of his car and...stands there.
Me = "Sir..."
SM = "My wife should be coming-out any minute! I'm not parked, I'm STANDING!"
Me = "Sir, you would have been in the fire lane for almost 15 minutes if I hadn't spoken to you. I said when she comes out you can load."
SM = "Well, she wasn't supposed to be that long."
Me = "That happens a lot, but see, once one person parks, then everyone does, and you have traffic trying to go around you and can you picture a little kid darting out of the store in front of your car and the person behind you not seeing him?"
At this point CB was walking-by with a load of carts and SM shouted at him "Boy, you got a mouth on you!"
CB just about threw-down gauntlets with his glare and walked over next to me.
CB = "Sir, she has asked you to move several times..."
SM = "Stay out of my business! I'll take my money elsewhere and we'll never shop here again!"
CB = "(Laughs) Go ahead! Losing your 'business' won't hurt *al *art at ALL!."
SM = "Why you.....! I'll have your job, you can't say that!"
CB = "Would you like me to get my manager for you?"
SM started for CB and I put myself between them. (I appreciated the support, but CB was almost making it worse) "Sir, I was going to cut you a break and let you wait for your wife, but now you're harassing employees and I'm telling you to move now or you're getting that ticket!"
SM = "I'm not PARKED I'm STANDING!!!"
Me = "Sir, I don't see your foot on the brake so you are most certainly parked!"
And this is where it went all Twilight Zone on us. A young 20's woman marched over from her car parked in the lot a space away and put herself between us and SM, and pretty much shoved her face into CB's so much he had to step back.
SG = "You (to CB) Why don't you go back to doing your job! Leave him alone, what is wrong with you!?" She turned to SM "Sir, I can't believe they're doing this to you, why don't you just get back in your car so they won't harass you..." Opens car door for him
Me = "Ma'am, we've been asking him to move out of the..."
SG = "DON'T talk to me! You need to be doing something else! He can sit here! I can't believe this, harassing, I'm SO sorry sir..." She went on but I couldn't catch what affirmations she was cooing to SM, who wholeheartedly agreed with her about how terrible we were. He did get in his car, and finally moved out of the fire lane. SG stalked back across to her car as SM drove by and called in a honey-sick voice "You have a LOVELY day sir!" SG2 who was standing by SG's car watching the whole thing also called "Hop your day gets better sir!"
And I just looked at CB. And he looked at me. And several in their vehicles and on the sidewalk looked at us. And we all pretty much collectively shrugged our shoulders and said "WTF just happened!?" I don't know what alternate reality SG and SG2 witnessed, but somehow CB and me ended-up being the bad guys? Luckily everyone but those two realized what really happened.
Oh, and it was another 8-minutes or so before SM's wife came-out. So, if he'd had his way, he would have been parked...oh, excuse me, STANDING in the fire lane for over 20-minutes, because his wife was going to come-out 'any minute!'
And this happened within the first 1/2 hour of me coming on-shift.
Cast:
Me = Me
Cart Boy = CB
Sucky Man = SM
Sucky Girl = SG
Sucky Girl 2 = SG2
I said "excuse me sir, could you please find a parking spot or the lot because you can't sit in the fire lane." He began puffing-up like a poisonous frog.
SM = "I, well...WHO DO YOU WORK FOR!?!? (&^&^$$%^^%^!!!"
Me = "I work for the Mall sir, and this store is part of the mall so I'm patroling..."
SM = "I'm waiting for my wife! We spend $ here and she's coming out with it and we'll just bring everything back if you don't appreciate our business!"
Me = "Well sir, you still can't sit in the fire lane. When your wife comes out with the groceries you can pull up and load."
SM = "I'm not PARKED! I'm WAITING! If there's a fire I'll move!"
Me = "It doesn't work like, you can either move or I can write you a ticket." At this point a cart guy who'd been watching the exchange came by and said:
CB = "Why can't you just move like she asked you to? Nobody else had a problem but you."
SM = (Turning red) "You...This is none of your business! You just stick to pushing your carts! I'll return everything and never shop here again...." He continued bitching as he FINALLY pulled out of the fire lane. I thanked CB for the back-up and went on my way.
5-Minutes later.
SM pulls BACK into the fire lane, directly in front of me where I'm standing and, keeping eye contact, deliberately gets out of his car and...stands there.
Me = "Sir..."
SM = "My wife should be coming-out any minute! I'm not parked, I'm STANDING!"
Me = "Sir, you would have been in the fire lane for almost 15 minutes if I hadn't spoken to you. I said when she comes out you can load."
SM = "Well, she wasn't supposed to be that long."
Me = "That happens a lot, but see, once one person parks, then everyone does, and you have traffic trying to go around you and can you picture a little kid darting out of the store in front of your car and the person behind you not seeing him?"
At this point CB was walking-by with a load of carts and SM shouted at him "Boy, you got a mouth on you!"
CB just about threw-down gauntlets with his glare and walked over next to me.
CB = "Sir, she has asked you to move several times..."
SM = "Stay out of my business! I'll take my money elsewhere and we'll never shop here again!"
CB = "(Laughs) Go ahead! Losing your 'business' won't hurt *al *art at ALL!."
SM = "Why you.....! I'll have your job, you can't say that!"
CB = "Would you like me to get my manager for you?"
SM started for CB and I put myself between them. (I appreciated the support, but CB was almost making it worse) "Sir, I was going to cut you a break and let you wait for your wife, but now you're harassing employees and I'm telling you to move now or you're getting that ticket!"
SM = "I'm not PARKED I'm STANDING!!!"
Me = "Sir, I don't see your foot on the brake so you are most certainly parked!"
And this is where it went all Twilight Zone on us. A young 20's woman marched over from her car parked in the lot a space away and put herself between us and SM, and pretty much shoved her face into CB's so much he had to step back.
SG = "You (to CB) Why don't you go back to doing your job! Leave him alone, what is wrong with you!?" She turned to SM "Sir, I can't believe they're doing this to you, why don't you just get back in your car so they won't harass you..." Opens car door for him
Me = "Ma'am, we've been asking him to move out of the..."
SG = "DON'T talk to me! You need to be doing something else! He can sit here! I can't believe this, harassing, I'm SO sorry sir..." She went on but I couldn't catch what affirmations she was cooing to SM, who wholeheartedly agreed with her about how terrible we were. He did get in his car, and finally moved out of the fire lane. SG stalked back across to her car as SM drove by and called in a honey-sick voice "You have a LOVELY day sir!" SG2 who was standing by SG's car watching the whole thing also called "Hop your day gets better sir!"
And I just looked at CB. And he looked at me. And several in their vehicles and on the sidewalk looked at us. And we all pretty much collectively shrugged our shoulders and said "WTF just happened!?" I don't know what alternate reality SG and SG2 witnessed, but somehow CB and me ended-up being the bad guys? Luckily everyone but those two realized what really happened.
Oh, and it was another 8-minutes or so before SM's wife came-out. So, if he'd had his way, he would have been parked...oh, excuse me, STANDING in the fire lane for over 20-minutes, because his wife was going to come-out 'any minute!'
And this happened within the first 1/2 hour of me coming on-shift.
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