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Perverted SC's and Wack Jobs (SOOOOOOO NSFW)
Some stories from tonight. I was on drive thru, alone, for the first time in about a month. We were busy (it figures) and my good mood was faltering.
Too Much Information....
A girl comes to the speaker with some friends. All of them are being loud, stupid and generally obnoxious. She gets to the window and is totally ignoring me and having her own, very loud conversation with her friends.
SC: Like, ohmygod. My kitty has soooo much hair! It's, like, crazy! My kitty, like, sheads, like, all the time!
Hahaha! Wow, I wish she knew how wrong that sounded
SC: My kitty is sooooo hairy!
Poor, dense girl
SC: Last night, when my boyfriend was licking my kitty, it like totally shead in his mouth and we had to stop! It, like totally sucked!
......EWEWEWEWEWEWEWEEEEEWWWWWWW!!!! DON'T NEED TO KNOW, DON'T WANT TO KNOW! 
Way to fail...
Car pulls up. Jerk-wad in back seat tells me how hot I am. I ignore him. He continues to shout obscenities in a pitiful attempt to catch my attention. Realizing his faiure, he moves to Plan B: pretend to jerk off in the backseat.
Epic Fail #1: make movements much too short to possibly count as jerking off
Epic Fail #2: make sounds like a dying goose
Epic Fail #3: squeeze your fist so tightly not even your pinky finger could fit
Me: Ahaha! Not quite a fistful there, eh?
SC: *blank stare*
Awe dammit...I lost him.
Driver: *gets the joke*
That did NOT just happen!!!
Couple comes to the window. The driver is a 20-ish year old guy who's appearance screams "d-bag". Sideways hat, face tattoos, stained wife beater, ratty jeans and a big fake gold chain. The passenger is a 20-ish year old girl. Very heavyset, unwashed hair, pig nose, and is wearing a too-short jean skirt and a too-small low-cut top.
D-bag turns to his woman:
DB: Hey baby, you got da money, yeah?
Girl: Aw dammit you said you'd pay!
DB: I know baby, I be broke though! Next time, fer sure!
Girl: *rantrantrant*
DB: *kissing some MAJOR ass*
Girl: *sighs* Ok, fiiiinnneeeee....
I expect to see her go for a purse or a wallet, but instead I see her spread her knees apart and shove her hand up her skirt!!! She sat there digging her hands up her skirt until she pulls out a messy looking plastic ziploc which she gets money out of. She then wipes her hand, zips the bag and proceeds to shove it back up her crotch. I dry heaved and took the money with gloved hands....
Hi. One case of brain bleach please...
GTFO
Dude comes to the window giving me the ooohh-check-out-the-babe look. I ignore it. His staring escalates to the creepy-stalker-pervert look.
CSP: Here's 72 cents. You believe me, right???
Me: Uh...yeah sure.
CSP: *holds out change*
Me: *grabs change*
CSP: *grabs hold of my fingers*
Me: *pulls back; again; again; panics and yanks back scraping my arm on the brick*
CSP: Here's the $12. You believe me, right?
Me: *sees all the bills and counts them* Yes.
CSP: *grabs thumb* Hurhurr
Me: *yanks back*
He pulls the same shit with his food too...
Too Much Information....
A girl comes to the speaker with some friends. All of them are being loud, stupid and generally obnoxious. She gets to the window and is totally ignoring me and having her own, very loud conversation with her friends.
SC: Like, ohmygod. My kitty has soooo much hair! It's, like, crazy! My kitty, like, sheads, like, all the time!
Hahaha! Wow, I wish she knew how wrong that sounded
SC: My kitty is sooooo hairy!
Poor, dense girl
SC: Last night, when my boyfriend was licking my kitty, it like totally shead in his mouth and we had to stop! It, like totally sucked!
......EWEWEWEWEWEWEWEEEEEWWWWWWW!!!! DON'T NEED TO KNOW, DON'T WANT TO KNOW! Way to fail...
Car pulls up. Jerk-wad in back seat tells me how hot I am. I ignore him. He continues to shout obscenities in a pitiful attempt to catch my attention. Realizing his faiure, he moves to Plan B: pretend to jerk off in the backseat.
Epic Fail #1: make movements much too short to possibly count as jerking off
Epic Fail #2: make sounds like a dying goose
Epic Fail #3: squeeze your fist so tightly not even your pinky finger could fit
Me: Ahaha! Not quite a fistful there, eh?
SC: *blank stare*
Awe dammit...I lost him.
Driver: *gets the joke*
That did NOT just happen!!!
Couple comes to the window. The driver is a 20-ish year old guy who's appearance screams "d-bag". Sideways hat, face tattoos, stained wife beater, ratty jeans and a big fake gold chain. The passenger is a 20-ish year old girl. Very heavyset, unwashed hair, pig nose, and is wearing a too-short jean skirt and a too-small low-cut top.
D-bag turns to his woman:
DB: Hey baby, you got da money, yeah?
Girl: Aw dammit you said you'd pay!
DB: I know baby, I be broke though! Next time, fer sure!
Girl: *rantrantrant*
DB: *kissing some MAJOR ass*
Girl: *sighs* Ok, fiiiinnneeeee....
I expect to see her go for a purse or a wallet, but instead I see her spread her knees apart and shove her hand up her skirt!!! She sat there digging her hands up her skirt until she pulls out a messy looking plastic ziploc which she gets money out of. She then wipes her hand, zips the bag and proceeds to shove it back up her crotch. I dry heaved and took the money with gloved hands....
Hi. One case of brain bleach please...
GTFO
Dude comes to the window giving me the ooohh-check-out-the-babe look. I ignore it. His staring escalates to the creepy-stalker-pervert look.
CSP: Here's 72 cents. You believe me, right???
Me: Uh...yeah sure.
CSP: *holds out change*
Me: *grabs change*
CSP: *grabs hold of my fingers*
Me: *pulls back; again; again; panics and yanks back scraping my arm on the brick*
CSP: Here's the $12. You believe me, right?
Me: *sees all the bills and counts them* Yes.
CSP: *grabs thumb* Hurhurr
Me: *yanks back*
He pulls the same shit with his food too...
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