I DEMAND a discount

[Cooper]

I like to think of the short time I've spent at this job (my first job) working full time has been split into three seasons, and so I am going to split up my SCs this way.

Overall background: I work at a marina, that also deals in YCB products (yard-care brand). We have three major parts of our small (eleven employee) business. The new owners bought the place a few years ago, and this is the first time they have really had proper employees there to just work the register.

Season 1: Repair backlog

The suck was pretty low, though there were a few constant occurances that got on my nerves.

"Is it done yet?"

Did we call you? No? Then no, it isn't done yet. When it is done we will call you. (In the summer I've worked here, I've only seen two customers not get called.)

"Can I talk to your boss?"

Did you want to discuss a repair? (during this season they were the only ones who knew anything about repairs.) Did you want to set up a house-call? Did you want to set up a weekend haul? Did you want me to find a part for your motor with the vaguest of information? No to all of the above? Guess what? You don't need them. I can help you just fine. They can continue doing the things that only they know how to do.

But out of our customers, we did have two suuuucky ones this season.

Surly Turley

Also known as the rudest man I have ever seen. He calls in wanting a pontoon rebuild done. He says his pontoon hasn't moved in years, and is stuck in the mud. So we send out double the employees we normally would (aka two employees.)

He looks at our two senior mechanics, and says: "That's it? I was expecting a team!"

Dude, we have eleven employees, and five of them have mechanical skill. That is a team.

They manage to get his boat out of the muck while he stands watching, clearly thinking they couldn't possibly do this. When they do, he barely changes his tune.

Then he called twice a week for a status update. As stressed... this pontoon was kept in terrible condition. It's going to take a while.

After about two weeks, he decides he wants us to finish what we are in the middle of, and he's done, because we're taking too long. During our busiest repair season of the year.

Unfortunately, not as high as the Moon-ies

These customers I only personally had to deal with once, but it was bad enough. Once I saw the whole story behind it...

I get a call, and all the caller I.D. says is "moonies." (Which aren't their real names, as it turns out.)

Characters: "moonies"- our SC.
P: One of my bosses, and one of the owners.
J: The other owner/boss.

Moonies: Hi, I'd like to talk to P.
Me: Okay. Well, J, the other boss is right here. Is that okay?
Moonies: No! I want to talk to P!
Me: Alright, let me go get him. I'm just going to put you on hold for a sec, okay?
Moonies: Just let me talk to P!

I put them on hold, and explain to P that the call is for him. He reads the I.D. and looks at J.

P: You take it.

J then explains to them they aren't getting a refund for their deposit.

It turns out, they rented a boat from us and wrecked it. We ended up giving them the refund to make them go away, and they then claimed we did not give them the refund, filing a claim with us. It got thrown out when it was discovered they used two different cards.

They are, to date, the only ones who have put up an internet review of us, calling one of the bosses, P, nice and honest, and calling J a jerk and a crook.

[Rapscallion]

Then he called twice a week for a status update. As stressed... this pontoon was kept in terrible condition. It's going to take a while.

As in a wooden craft? In the mud for two years?

Heh - he was expecting a miracle for that sort of neglect.

Rapscallion

[RetailWorkhorse]

Surly-Turley sounds like my uncle. >.<

As in a wooden craft?

Doubt it, most pontoons are made from fiberglass, I think. But a long time in the weather and muck and that will destroy a boat.

I'm still plotting pontoons on the RV. :B

[Cooper]

Oh yeah, he was expecting a miracle. We also found out from his neighbor he still doesn't use it. He must have spent 5 grand on it, at least. (Our rebuilds range from 1 thousand to 15, as far as I can tell.)

Season 2: Where on earth did all these people come from?!

This is where the doozies come in.

I demand a discount!

These people call in and want a boat. We ask their party, give them the available boats, and direct them to our website (which is policy if they can get to it). They can see a picture of the boat. Over the phone, we explain some mechanical quirks it has, such as requiring the warm-up lever to prevent it from flooding, which is standard on our low-end boats, and how you can't go full-blast on reverse, with the particular boat.

They get the boat anyway. At the desk, we set them up with the paperwork, and then take them out to the boat.

We explain the work-arounds for the mechanical quirks, such as where the warm-up lever is, and how often they'll need to use it. (It can vary from once a day to every time you start up the boat.) They ask for a discount because of the mechanical quirks. I tell them no, because the boat is pre-discounted, being one of our largest, but cheapest, boats.

I also demand a discount

These people wanted a jetskii. We only had one, and they wanted two. They were renting our newest jetskii, and wanted a discount because it was 11 years old, and higher priced than the other jetskiis. That jetskii has had about 10 hours on it a year. It goes higher than the speed limit on the lake. We will rent that jetskii at full price with someone else.

No.

Are you sure?

Me: Welcome to [business] I'm Cooper.
SC: Do you have any boats for rent?
Me: Er, for which day?
SC: Today.
Me: No sir, on Saturdays we are usually booked on Tuesdays.
SC: Oh, okay. Well, are there any boats coming back?
Me: No sir. Any boats that are coming back are booked to go back out.
SC: Have there been any cancellations?
Me: No sir.
SC: Can you call me if there will be?
Me: I can sir, but it is rare.
SC: Are you sure you don't have any boats left?
Me: We may have a paddleboat left.
SC: Oh, okay.
*hangs up*

Your policies are very rude

SC: I would like to talk to P.
Me: Well sir, he has to fix one of our rental boats before they go out in an hour. As soon as that is done, he will call you back.

*15 minutes later*

SC: I'd like to talk to P. I tried to get my boat to start yesterday, for my Son's birthday, and it wouldn't start. He's a friend of ours, we park our boat at their dock.
Me: Sir, I understand that you're a friend of the family, but I just wanted to say up-front that we tend not to do part calls on the weekends, especia-
SC: You don't do part calls on the weekends?
Me: Most of our mechanics are ou-
SC: Well that's rude.
*Sc hangs up*

You know what I was going to say? "Especially this weekend as only one employee who knows how to handle them is here, with half our staff out" and "Most of our mechanics are out on weekends."

I explained the situation to P, who called him back and walked him through fixing his boat about an hour later. And when SC requested P fix his boat after hours? P didn't do it.

Season 3: Rentals and Storage

So far only one sucky customer in Season 3, but... it just started.

I demand a 100 dollar discount!

I admit, this rental could not have gone the best. But they were asking for too much.

First, they call up:

SC: I'm calling up about my sister's boat. She got put on the wrong boat. She was supposed to get put on [boat that is admittedly our second nicest, in my opinion.]
Me: Alright, well, do you know the name of the boat she was put on?
SC: No.
Me: Can you describe it?
SC: Well, it has two seats in the front, fishing pole holders...
Me: That sounds like [our fishing boat.]
SC: That's the boat I'm on.
Me: Can you tell me about the boat she is on?
SC: Can I talk to P? I set all of this up with P.

I hand it over to P, who then explains to her:

P: We don't have any more boats at the dock. Your sister can come back, we will give her a full refund, but we cannot put her on another boat.
SC: Oh, the boat is fine!

Later they call up because their boat has flooded, and I walk them through how to fix it. They do, and ask:

SC: If this happens again is there another boat we can switch to?
Me: Not today, but tomorrow potentially. You're free to call and ask.

Later, they call up, and can't get the boat started.

My boss J answers the phone.

J: We will rescue you, but when you come back you need to finish paying your rent. You have 100 dollars left on your rent, and you have to pay before you go out.
SC: But we can just pay that out of our deposit.
J: It doesn't work that way. Your deposit pays for your gas. You need to pay your rent.
SC: We can just pay that out of our deposit.
J: No you can't. Look, we're sending someone out to rescue you. You have to pay your rent when you get in.
SC: Oh, and can we switch boats?
J: After you pay your rent...
SC: Well, we should get a hundred dollar discount for this.
J: A hundred dollar discount for getting stranded?
SC: Yes.
J: I'll give you a 50 dollar discount.
SC: I want a hundred!

Here's a few things I want to just put out there. We're actually pretty liberal on discounts. I gave one to a guy who rented for 6 hours, but was only going to be able to use 5.5 hours because it was going out for another 6 hours, so he got a discount so he was only paying for the time he was using.

Another guy's boat stopped working, and so we stuck him on our personal boat. Our typical rate for what he wanted was about 90. He got the rate of 25.

Another guy's jetskii has been in our repair system for months, so he has the right to take out one of our non-rented jetskiis whenever he likes for just the price of his gas.

We're a new business, so we do screw up, but we pride ourselves on being very, very fair to our customers. Most everyone we come across is on vacation, and so they are either laid-back, or won't let any slight set-backs upset them, which just highlights these guys more.

[Cooper]

Old pontoons used to be made out of wood. The marina has an addition that was made for repairing wooden boats because they aren't supposed to leave the lake, and we have one in storage, but this one was fiberglass.

[QASlave]

Most pontoons in the U.S. are made from aluminum.

[Cooper]

About it being made from aluminum or fiberglass, I am no boat expert (I happen to be one of the employees with no mechanical skill) but if I were to make a guess, I would say that the hull and guard rails are typically made from aluminum, and pieces of the boat could be made of fiberglass, but to be honest, I think we're all thinking about I/Os and waverunners when it comes to fiberglass boats.

[Cooper]

Season 3: Jeez people!

Oh, you're open right now?

Is this a common thing with you people? Or are you all just playing a prank on us? Because I had four calls and two walk-ins today go "oh, you're open." It's 5:30 on a Wednesday... the lights are on, the doors aren't barred, and someone is answering the phones.

... no. What gave you that impression?

The RAEG of repairs

This is only the first week of the season. As stressed, everyone is generally very nice to me. But not today...

Today started out with one boss gone due to his day off, and the other boss too sick to stand, but not sick enough to be dragged home. I was the only one in the store.

We had about 15 customers today. 5 of them were nice to me, and one of those people that was nice to me, wasn't actually a person but a DOG. It was the most depressing day I've ever had there.

But the dog is awesome. I gave her four little doggie bones (she's a large dog, and would have gotten one large one, but we were out). She was also the happiest customer we had.

Me: [Business] this is Cooper.
SC: Hi, this is Ditzy SC.
Me: Alright DSC. How can I help you?
SC: I have a boat in repairs and I wanted to check on it.
Me: Okay.
*looks her up*
Me: Okay, we have a few in here for you. What day was it brought in?
SC: Tuesday.
Me: What day of the month?
SC: Yesterday.

Note, we have at least a week delay on repairs.

Me: Well, here it is. Says parts were ordered yesterday.
SC: Well, what's the delay? J said it would be done in an hour and a half.
Me: Well, this is a pretty large list of parts. Clearly something went wrong.
SC: When do you think it will be done?
Me: I don't know Ma'am.
SC: Well I have this party, and I want to know if the boat will be ready for it.
Me: Would you like to rent a boat from us?
SC: *huff* I want to know when it will be done!
Me: ... let me hand you over to P...

Also note that if customers have boats in repair systems for a long enough time, we tend to give them a rental boat for just their gas. But this boat has been in for a day.

While she seems pretty mild for the RAEG, she is a customer that comes in fairly often, and one of the first I got to know. She is also one of the most mild-mannered people I know. There's gotta be something in the water.


Take what I say and multiply it by 2. That makes me more honest.

Me: Alright, well I'm sorry to say I have some bad news for you. This needs a new starter. We will order it tomorrow, if you give us permission to do so.
Him: Well, how much is it?

*gets the price together*

That's an expensive part. He'll be pleased.

Me: xxx.xx.
SC: And when will that come in?
SCW: Monday.
Me: Monday.
SC: Well, can you order it from anywhere else?
Me: Would you like us to try and find a faster or cheaper way of ordering it?
SC: Please. It's been in there for two weeks.
Me: I've made the note on your repair order.

*15 minutes later*

SC: I don't want to wait ten days.
Me: Alright. So you want us to close this repair order?
SC: Yes. I'll have a friend pick it up. His name is [name.] He is authorized to pick it up.

Let me let you in on a secret sir. We kinda trust people around this tiny town here. Heck, a guy came in for a refund today who had his friend book it under his friend's name, and he showed up to rent the boat. We just kinda figure you have the authorization.

If you don't, we have your face on security cameras, and someone will recognize you.

*15 minutes later*

P: How did you hear ten days?

Oh crap. Was that wrong? Sounded fine to me. Sometimes parts do take 10 days, if they're weird enough.

P approaches me.

P: Most parts come in in 2 days.
Me: I didn't know that, but SCW did, and he's the one that told me the time frame.
P: SCW said 10 days?
Me: He said Monday.
P: That's not 10 days.
Me: I said Monday too.


And our doozy of the day:

Why can't you drop everything, travel to my lake and fix my boat and rescue me?

SC: Well, I can see my dock...
P: What do you have on the boat?
SC: I have an oar, and a pull-start.
P: That should be fine.
SC: I don't want to use either of those.
P: Well, do you have an anchor?
SC: Yes.
P: You could throw the anchor and drag yourself to shore.
SC: I don't want to do that either. Can you rescue me?
P: I cannot. I would have to close up the store to go to [lake] and get you. If you call me in an hour and you are still stuck, then I can get you.
SC: Okay.

*an hour later*

SC: I figured out what was wrong with it.
P: What?
SC: *explains* Can you come over tomorrow and fix it?
P: Well SC, I could, but then I wouldn't be being fair to the other customers. Some people have had their repairs in queue for a week.
SC: Well I've been a customer for more than that.
P: So have they.

Saddest thing? This last SC is at least in her 70s.