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Hey guys, I just realised that I haven’t posted anything in ages! As some of you may know, it is the summer break so I have not been at school, and instead I have picked up some extra shifts at the pub. I really, really hate saying this, but it has been FUN! The customers are still evil and disgusting, and the management are still clueless and incompetent, but the pub has recently hired five all-kinds-of-awesome barstaff. They aren’t particularly amazing at their jobs, but they are amazing people, and our shifts together are always brilliant, as we look out and help each other. They were strangers to me three weeks ago, and now we are all best friends. Very bizarre to be looking forward to going into work.
So this thread may be very long, as it has three weeks worth of stories.
Our steaks are served with peas, little mushrooms and onion rings. One of the new co-workers rang through a steak meal, and came into the kitchen.
CW: Hi, I have a request from a customer. They would like the mushrooms on their meal to be skinned and have the stalks removed.
Me: Well, we’re really busy at the moment, and I don’t have time to go through all the mushrooms on their meal to skin them and remove the stalks, can’t they just have them as they come?
CW: I don’t know, she seemed pretty serious.
Me: Right, I will do it, just this once.
It was a right pain. It completely messed up my system and delayed several food orders, but I did it! I sent the meal out. A couple of minutes later, CW returned with the meal.
CW: She says you haven’t done it right. She says you have to start the entire meal again.
Me: Tell her to get fucked.
I flat out refused to redo the meal, and sent one of the managers over to deal with her. He took 10% off her meal, as the mushrooms were “inedible”.
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Working on the bar. We have recently had chip and pin installed, and it amazes me that even though it has been around for about a decade, that people still don’t know how it works.
Serving a lady, I hand the machine over to her.
Me: OK, if you would just put in your pin...
Lady: My number is 8941!
Yep, she bellowed her pin number to a full bar.
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New CW and I were working a very quiet shift on the bar. We were standing at the end of the bar chatting, when a customer appeared. We both immediately went to serve him. I was still mid-sentence.
Me: ...so yeah that’s what happened. I will tell you the rest in a second once I have served this gentleman. Hi, what can I get you?
SC: WHEN YOU HAVE QUITE FINISHED!
Me: I’m sorry?
SC: YOU AND YOUR LITTLE FRIEND HAVING A CONVERSATION WHEN YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN SERVING ME!
Me: You have literally just walked up to the bar. We ended our conversation the instant you arrived.
SC: YOU KNOW NOTHING OF CUSTOMER SERVICE! IF YOU WORKED FOR ME YOU WOULD BE SACKED!
This guy looked as though he hadn’t worked a day in his life, so imagining him being in charge of something was hilarious.
Me: Do you want served or not?
SC: I WANT BETTER CUSTOMER SERVICE RATHER THAN HAVING TO DEAL WITH TWO GAYS WHO HAVE NOTHING BETTER TO DO THAN GOSSIP!
Me: So that’s a no then.
I took CW and we returned to the end of the bar.
SC: WHA-WHERE ARE YOU GOING? OI!
He didn’t get served.
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Another new CW was serving a young looking girl. He asked her for I.D, and immediately called me over.
CW: Customersruinmylife, look at this.
He showed me the I.D. The I.D had a picture of a fat, dark skinned, dark haired girl. The girl he was serving was stick thin, blonde and pasty white.
Me: OK, so what’s your name?
SC: Jane Janeson.
Me: Date of birth?
SC: 8th March 1992.
Me: And your star sign?
SC: Huh?
Me: Your star sign?
SC: Uuhhhhhhhh.....ummmmm...Leo?
Me: Yeah, this isn’t you.
SC: Damn it! Can I have the I.D back now please?
Me: Nope, you have broken the law. Jane Janeson will have to collect this from the local police station in the morning.
SC: But she’s going to kill me!
Me: Aw.
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Like I said before, I am really enjoying work at the minute, but that is purely because of the people I work with. Because I am happier at work, I am more energetic and confident. Working in a school has also given me a lot of experience in assigning tasks and delegation, so I have turned into a person people turn to when they want advice on something.
One of the managers is leaving in two weeks. I was pulled into the office.
M: Customersruinmylife, we can’t help but notice how brilliant you have been these past few weeks, and with *manager* leaving, we were wondering if you would be interested in becoming a member of the management team again.
Me: Oh my, umm, well, no. Thanks for the offer, but I will never, ever go down that route again. It was the most exhausting period of my life, and I will not risk going through that again.
M: Damn.
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A middle aged guy keeps coming into the pub with his wife and kids.
MG: Can I order a breakfast please?
Me: I’m sorry, but breakfast finished two hours ago.
MG: Awww.
He then returns to his table, and orders off the regular menu. He has done this on pretty much every single shift I have worked. He appeared again the other day.
MG: Can I order a breakfast please?
Me: I’m sorry, but breakfast finished two hours ago.
MG: Awww.
He pulled a puppy dog face and walked away. The manager noticed this.
M: Customersruinmylife, how could you be so heartless?
She walked off the bar and followed him. She brought him back.
M: I will put a breakfast through for you.
MG: That’s great! I want four large, four sides of toast, extra bacon on two, no hash browns on one, hard eggs on another, a side of scrambled egg and some fruit toast.
M: Oh...ummm...OK.
She rang it through. The kitchen went crazy. They were in the middle of the lunch rush, and they had to stop and cook breakfasts. I raised my eyebrows at M.
Me: And that’s why I never give the customers an inch, because they will take a mile.
He returned at the same time yesterday.
MG: Can I order a breakfast please?
Me: I’m sorry, but breakfast service finished two hours ago.
MG: But you let me yesterdaaaaaaaaay. Where’s the manager?
I brought M out to deal with him. She didn’t let him have breakfast, and I can tell she is really regretting her decision the other day.
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I was working a busy kitchen shift. Three of us were running around preparing food, when all of a sudden we heard a massive “TWWOOOOOOO” noise, you know, like the noise of a computer powering down on Star Trek. The kitchen went VERY quiet.
CW: Oh my God, the extraction has gone!
I have seen this happen before (and I think I may have posted about it at some point), and it is the most amazing thing. Within a couple of seconds, the temperature in the kitchen shot up about ten degrees, and filled up with smoke.
Me: Turn everything off!
With no extraction, it meant that the heat from the ovens, grills, fryers, microwaves, dishwasher, heatlamps and toaster had no where to go, and it’s a small kitchen! We scrambled around, and evacuated the kitchen. In a couple of minutes, the kitchen had reached 52 degrees Celsius (125 Fahrenheit!) When we burst out the kitchen, we were red and sweating.
Food had to be stopped immediately, and the reactions we got were amazing.
SC: A little heat never hurt anyone!
SC: You bunch of fucking drama queens!
An engineer arrived a couple of hours later (we simply sat around and drank coffee) and he sighed. He said it was going to take about four hours to fix. At this point, we were told we might as well go home, and that we would still get paid for our full shift. We quite liked that, and rather than go home, we decided to take advantage of our new found day off and have a few drinks! We positioned ourselves at the end of the bar so we could admire the customers reactions.
SC: Where are your menus!? I can’t find any! This is riiiiiiiidiculous.
CW: We are not serving food today due to technical problems in the kitchen.
CW pointed to the several signs that were positioned around the pub. SC stormed out.
SC: I brought eight people here especially to eat your food and show them how good you are! Well, I am never coming back again! You have made me look like a fool!
SC: It is my grandmothers birthday and now she cannot eat because of you!
SC: I have three starving children who haven’t eaten all day!
SC: What ever happened to going above and beyond for your customers?
CW: If we sent anyone into that kitchen, they would most likely die.
SC: Pfffft!
SC: You are so selfish!
SC: You can’t just decide you aren’t going to provide food! You can’t! You just can’t!
SC: Do I have to go in there and cook it myself?
We had a fun day, although I have paid for it with a hangover.
So this thread may be very long, as it has three weeks worth of stories.
Our steaks are served with peas, little mushrooms and onion rings. One of the new co-workers rang through a steak meal, and came into the kitchen.
CW: Hi, I have a request from a customer. They would like the mushrooms on their meal to be skinned and have the stalks removed.
Me: Well, we’re really busy at the moment, and I don’t have time to go through all the mushrooms on their meal to skin them and remove the stalks, can’t they just have them as they come?
CW: I don’t know, she seemed pretty serious.
Me: Right, I will do it, just this once.
It was a right pain. It completely messed up my system and delayed several food orders, but I did it! I sent the meal out. A couple of minutes later, CW returned with the meal.
CW: She says you haven’t done it right. She says you have to start the entire meal again.
Me: Tell her to get fucked.
I flat out refused to redo the meal, and sent one of the managers over to deal with her. He took 10% off her meal, as the mushrooms were “inedible”.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Working on the bar. We have recently had chip and pin installed, and it amazes me that even though it has been around for about a decade, that people still don’t know how it works.
Serving a lady, I hand the machine over to her.
Me: OK, if you would just put in your pin...
Lady: My number is 8941!
Yep, she bellowed her pin number to a full bar.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
New CW and I were working a very quiet shift on the bar. We were standing at the end of the bar chatting, when a customer appeared. We both immediately went to serve him. I was still mid-sentence.
Me: ...so yeah that’s what happened. I will tell you the rest in a second once I have served this gentleman. Hi, what can I get you?
SC: WHEN YOU HAVE QUITE FINISHED!
Me: I’m sorry?
SC: YOU AND YOUR LITTLE FRIEND HAVING A CONVERSATION WHEN YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN SERVING ME!
Me: You have literally just walked up to the bar. We ended our conversation the instant you arrived.
SC: YOU KNOW NOTHING OF CUSTOMER SERVICE! IF YOU WORKED FOR ME YOU WOULD BE SACKED!
This guy looked as though he hadn’t worked a day in his life, so imagining him being in charge of something was hilarious.
Me: Do you want served or not?
SC: I WANT BETTER CUSTOMER SERVICE RATHER THAN HAVING TO DEAL WITH TWO GAYS WHO HAVE NOTHING BETTER TO DO THAN GOSSIP!
Me: So that’s a no then.
I took CW and we returned to the end of the bar.
SC: WHA-WHERE ARE YOU GOING? OI!
He didn’t get served.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Another new CW was serving a young looking girl. He asked her for I.D, and immediately called me over.
CW: Customersruinmylife, look at this.
He showed me the I.D. The I.D had a picture of a fat, dark skinned, dark haired girl. The girl he was serving was stick thin, blonde and pasty white.
Me: OK, so what’s your name?
SC: Jane Janeson.
Me: Date of birth?
SC: 8th March 1992.
Me: And your star sign?
SC: Huh?
Me: Your star sign?
SC: Uuhhhhhhhh.....ummmmm...Leo?
Me: Yeah, this isn’t you.
SC: Damn it! Can I have the I.D back now please?
Me: Nope, you have broken the law. Jane Janeson will have to collect this from the local police station in the morning.
SC: But she’s going to kill me!
Me: Aw.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Like I said before, I am really enjoying work at the minute, but that is purely because of the people I work with. Because I am happier at work, I am more energetic and confident. Working in a school has also given me a lot of experience in assigning tasks and delegation, so I have turned into a person people turn to when they want advice on something.
One of the managers is leaving in two weeks. I was pulled into the office.
M: Customersruinmylife, we can’t help but notice how brilliant you have been these past few weeks, and with *manager* leaving, we were wondering if you would be interested in becoming a member of the management team again.
Me: Oh my, umm, well, no. Thanks for the offer, but I will never, ever go down that route again. It was the most exhausting period of my life, and I will not risk going through that again.
M: Damn.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A middle aged guy keeps coming into the pub with his wife and kids.
MG: Can I order a breakfast please?
Me: I’m sorry, but breakfast finished two hours ago.
MG: Awww.
He then returns to his table, and orders off the regular menu. He has done this on pretty much every single shift I have worked. He appeared again the other day.
MG: Can I order a breakfast please?
Me: I’m sorry, but breakfast finished two hours ago.
MG: Awww.
He pulled a puppy dog face and walked away. The manager noticed this.
M: Customersruinmylife, how could you be so heartless?
She walked off the bar and followed him. She brought him back.
M: I will put a breakfast through for you.
MG: That’s great! I want four large, four sides of toast, extra bacon on two, no hash browns on one, hard eggs on another, a side of scrambled egg and some fruit toast.
M: Oh...ummm...OK.
She rang it through. The kitchen went crazy. They were in the middle of the lunch rush, and they had to stop and cook breakfasts. I raised my eyebrows at M.
Me: And that’s why I never give the customers an inch, because they will take a mile.
He returned at the same time yesterday.
MG: Can I order a breakfast please?
Me: I’m sorry, but breakfast service finished two hours ago.
MG: But you let me yesterdaaaaaaaaay. Where’s the manager?
I brought M out to deal with him. She didn’t let him have breakfast, and I can tell she is really regretting her decision the other day.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I was working a busy kitchen shift. Three of us were running around preparing food, when all of a sudden we heard a massive “TWWOOOOOOO” noise, you know, like the noise of a computer powering down on Star Trek. The kitchen went VERY quiet.
CW: Oh my God, the extraction has gone!
I have seen this happen before (and I think I may have posted about it at some point), and it is the most amazing thing. Within a couple of seconds, the temperature in the kitchen shot up about ten degrees, and filled up with smoke.
Me: Turn everything off!
With no extraction, it meant that the heat from the ovens, grills, fryers, microwaves, dishwasher, heatlamps and toaster had no where to go, and it’s a small kitchen! We scrambled around, and evacuated the kitchen. In a couple of minutes, the kitchen had reached 52 degrees Celsius (125 Fahrenheit!) When we burst out the kitchen, we were red and sweating.
Food had to be stopped immediately, and the reactions we got were amazing.
SC: A little heat never hurt anyone!
SC: You bunch of fucking drama queens!
An engineer arrived a couple of hours later (we simply sat around and drank coffee) and he sighed. He said it was going to take about four hours to fix. At this point, we were told we might as well go home, and that we would still get paid for our full shift. We quite liked that, and rather than go home, we decided to take advantage of our new found day off and have a few drinks! We positioned ourselves at the end of the bar so we could admire the customers reactions.
SC: Where are your menus!? I can’t find any! This is riiiiiiiidiculous.
CW: We are not serving food today due to technical problems in the kitchen.
CW pointed to the several signs that were positioned around the pub. SC stormed out.
SC: I brought eight people here especially to eat your food and show them how good you are! Well, I am never coming back again! You have made me look like a fool!
SC: It is my grandmothers birthday and now she cannot eat because of you!
SC: I have three starving children who haven’t eaten all day!
SC: What ever happened to going above and beyond for your customers?
CW: If we sent anyone into that kitchen, they would most likely die.
SC: Pfffft!
SC: You are so selfish!
SC: You can’t just decide you aren’t going to provide food! You can’t! You just can’t!
SC: Do I have to go in there and cook it myself?
We had a fun day, although I have paid for it with a hangover.
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