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I sell cars, and you ma'am are a dick.
I've been in retail my entire adult life, and two years ago I moved to car sales which is actually a nice upgrade of sorts although it is clearly just another form of retail.
First off, I should paint a picture. Most of you readers are thinking of a large dealership off-the-highway in a town near you. I work at a small new car dealership in a big town near a bigger town, technically a Conurbation.
I meet many people who buy new cars, get along well with most of them, and all in all it's not what people would typically imagine car sales to be like, it's nice.
Here and there, you meet people who appear nice on the outside, act with courtesy, appreciate your help, and then completely flip on you. Here is a recent story that inspired me to find this forum, and post.
Sunday morning at work, Saturday was a friends b-day party so I am hung-to-the-motha-f*n-over. A call comes in from new customer, Mira, "Hi do you have the Car A and Car B in stock?"
Me: "Yes we do, when do you plan on coming in?"
Mira: "Later today, see you then."
I am now getting excited, because she asked for two specific cars that we happened to have both of, pretty pricey ones too. Things start to get shakey though when she comes in and we get to talking. She has her husband and son with her. She informs me that she has already driven these two vehicles (at other dealerships) but her husband hasn't. She'll stay at the store with her son while husband and I go drive. I notice that they have the dress and expressions of the Bourgeois. He reveals to me that he owns a Porsche and apparently thinks that he is hot shit behind the wheel.
Jump to the test drives, keeping in mind that I am REALLY hung over. The husband who we shall name Dick, thinks that he is taking these two luxo-soccer-mom cars to LeMans, and needs to wring every last ounce of horsepower from each car at every turn. Normally this isn't such a bad thing, usually people who drive fast are good at driving safe at the same time. Dick is not one of those people. Never checked his blind spot once. Two-lane lane changes, near collisions with merging traffic, erratic control on the wheel to give that swaying, puke inducing ride quality. I was really close to vomiting, really. But one thing I've learned in car sales, is that wealthy people do not respond well to criticism, and I held my tongue.
We get back from the drives, and I am expecting to talk price with my customers at this point. Mira (the wife) makes it clear that she never intended to get there. I've seen this before, she doesn't think that our little dealership could possibly sell it's cars at the assrape low prices she wants to pay. That's typical BTW, wealthy people are the absolute cheapest cheapskates on earth. I am now savvy to this, so I start talking price. I let them know that we can play ball in the price game, and try to land on a vehicle between the two. No dice, they leave, but that evening she calls me on my cell (# is on the business card.)
Mira and I spoke over the phone and email several times over the next week, refining the options, finding the right car, negotiating a price that is very low, etc. About three days in I am feeling like the sale is in the bag. Thursday rolls around, and Mira calls again, "We found a dealer that has the same car that you've got for us, but they are going to beat your price by $700." (Nearly a $40K car BTW)
ME: "I can't lose that much money on this deal, we already had our lowest price on the table for you."
Mira "Oh I really appreciate all of your help, thank you so much! Bye!"
When this happens to me, I explode inside. I want to call her back and tell her MOTHERFUCKINGFUCKYOUSHITEATINGCUNTPSYOURHUSBANDISR ETARDED
because I only get a handful of opportunities in a week, and I had focused so much time and energy on her. Most people after that much time and consideration will actually stop calling other dealerships. I mean, I had jumped through hoops all week finding the answers to difficult questions, getting the manager to blow out a primo car that we had coming in. Did I mention I only work on commission so all of my time was for NOTHING. Having to deal with the test driving retard husband was the worst of it.
Thanks for listening, I feel a little better. Nice forum, nice people here, talk to you all soon!
First off, I should paint a picture. Most of you readers are thinking of a large dealership off-the-highway in a town near you. I work at a small new car dealership in a big town near a bigger town, technically a Conurbation.
I meet many people who buy new cars, get along well with most of them, and all in all it's not what people would typically imagine car sales to be like, it's nice.
Here and there, you meet people who appear nice on the outside, act with courtesy, appreciate your help, and then completely flip on you. Here is a recent story that inspired me to find this forum, and post.
Sunday morning at work, Saturday was a friends b-day party so I am hung-to-the-motha-f*n-over. A call comes in from new customer, Mira, "Hi do you have the Car A and Car B in stock?"
Me: "Yes we do, when do you plan on coming in?"
Mira: "Later today, see you then."
I am now getting excited, because she asked for two specific cars that we happened to have both of, pretty pricey ones too. Things start to get shakey though when she comes in and we get to talking. She has her husband and son with her. She informs me that she has already driven these two vehicles (at other dealerships) but her husband hasn't. She'll stay at the store with her son while husband and I go drive. I notice that they have the dress and expressions of the Bourgeois. He reveals to me that he owns a Porsche and apparently thinks that he is hot shit behind the wheel.
Jump to the test drives, keeping in mind that I am REALLY hung over. The husband who we shall name Dick, thinks that he is taking these two luxo-soccer-mom cars to LeMans, and needs to wring every last ounce of horsepower from each car at every turn. Normally this isn't such a bad thing, usually people who drive fast are good at driving safe at the same time. Dick is not one of those people. Never checked his blind spot once. Two-lane lane changes, near collisions with merging traffic, erratic control on the wheel to give that swaying, puke inducing ride quality. I was really close to vomiting, really. But one thing I've learned in car sales, is that wealthy people do not respond well to criticism, and I held my tongue.
We get back from the drives, and I am expecting to talk price with my customers at this point. Mira (the wife) makes it clear that she never intended to get there. I've seen this before, she doesn't think that our little dealership could possibly sell it's cars at the assrape low prices she wants to pay. That's typical BTW, wealthy people are the absolute cheapest cheapskates on earth. I am now savvy to this, so I start talking price. I let them know that we can play ball in the price game, and try to land on a vehicle between the two. No dice, they leave, but that evening she calls me on my cell (# is on the business card.)
Mira and I spoke over the phone and email several times over the next week, refining the options, finding the right car, negotiating a price that is very low, etc. About three days in I am feeling like the sale is in the bag. Thursday rolls around, and Mira calls again, "We found a dealer that has the same car that you've got for us, but they are going to beat your price by $700." (Nearly a $40K car BTW)
ME: "I can't lose that much money on this deal, we already had our lowest price on the table for you."
Mira "Oh I really appreciate all of your help, thank you so much! Bye!"
When this happens to me, I explode inside. I want to call her back and tell her MOTHERFUCKINGFUCKYOUSHITEATINGCUNTPSYOURHUSBANDISR ETARDED
because I only get a handful of opportunities in a week, and I had focused so much time and energy on her. Most people after that much time and consideration will actually stop calling other dealerships. I mean, I had jumped through hoops all week finding the answers to difficult questions, getting the manager to blow out a primo car that we had coming in. Did I mention I only work on commission so all of my time was for NOTHING. Having to deal with the test driving retard husband was the worst of it. Thanks for listening, I feel a little better. Nice forum, nice people here, talk to you all soon!
to 
!
by the gallon and bacon by the ton ^_^ Cookies should be coming along shortly!
) and get sued afterward.
and still had customers that wanted to spend an hour talking about the product then saying never mind. I could have sold 2 or 3 things in the time I talked to them and they jerked me around because they wanted someone to talk to or whatever.
When I worked in the photo lab at the Green pharmacy on every corner, we could upsell and earn money on things we sold. I upsold extra pictures to pretty much every customer whether they wanted them or not, I was that good, lol. I once sold an expensive digital camera to a guy that was just wanting to know what batteries were the best for the camera he already had. I was cute back then, before I had kids though so that helped
I would make an extra 200-300 dollars on top of my regular paycheck sometimes while the other photo people were lucky to upsell one set of double prints because they didn't even try. But I had these people that I would not even bother with after a while because I knew if I tried they would drag me into a conversation and then not buy anything extra so I would not waste my time.
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