My horrible customer last night...made me cry :(

[plantlvr]

I agree, she's not worth your tears but I sure understand why you cried, it happened to me when I was in my 20's. Now I just imagine i have a flamethrower in my hand while they yell

[XCashier]

If it's any consolation, if you ever become a parent, at least now you'll know how to deal with a two year old throwing a tantrum, cause that's basically what this customer was.

Sadly, we can't put SCs into Time Out...

I've had quite a few customers drive me to tears when I was younger. It's embarrassing and maddening, and some of the SCs seem to get their jollies off of it, the sick bastards. You will eventually develop a thicker skin. Just remember, you may have your faults, but at least you're not some self-centered asshat who screams at and belittles other people to make themselves feel superior. You are better than that.

Have you ever seen the TV show Northern Exposure, when Joel or Maurice goes into a long-winded tirade about something or other, and Marilyn just sits there, listening with a calm expression that blatantly says, "you're an idiot"? I've started using the Marilyn Whirlwind look when some SC goes on a rant. When they notice that expression, it often takes the wind out of their sails.

[SunshyneWalker4167]

Hey guys! Thanks for the welcomes and your outlook on my situation! Ive posted a few replies to you guys but none of them are getting posted lol maybe im doing something wrong?? Anyways i think what got to me the most was not exactly the horrible woman herself (even though i made sure to point out to my friends/ other co workers that i wanted to punch her ) It was when i cried...because some of my co workers caught me crying over a customer. And now that im a supervisor, crying over someone like that made me feel sooo stupid. Especially since the other girls caught me lol. All i remember (after throwing the scan gun, which didnt go far since its attached to the cashier desk) is storming through the store to our break room. Sat there for a good 10 minutes huffing and puffing, then my co worker walked in (weve had quite a few new girls get hired lately and she is one of them) she took one look at me and said "Are you okay?" i shook my head no, then she asked if i needed a hug. Then thats when my ugly crying face came on and i just busted out crying and yelling how pissed off i was at that bitch lol pretty much in those words too. Obviously i felt like a bad supervisor at that moment. The other girls can take it (almost all of them are younger than me too). They will get yelled at or cursed at and they just stand there and say whatever and forget about it. I cant do that. To be honest my first instinct is to stand up for myself. However like most of you know working in customer service your very limited when it comes to standing up for yourself . I feel that the customers who treat us like shit...dont deserve to see us smile at them...or for us to give them what they want. They deserve to be kicked the hell out lol! I wish my manager wouldve been there...he wouldve put her in her place for me. But sadly he wasnt but my other supervisor called him and told him what happened and he ofcourse took our side. Why would i risk my job for some rude ass bitch who tries to get away with breaking rules. Honestly customers like that can go suck a big one if ya ask me! And i woulda rold her that too if i wasnt at work

[MadMike]

Hey guys! Thanks for the welcomes and your outlook on my situation! Ive posted a few replies to you guys but none of them are getting posted lol maybe im doing something wrong??

No, you're not doing anything wrong. New users go through a "training period" where their posts have to be approved by a moderator before they can be seen by the general public. It's to weed out spammers, trolls, and other troublemakers. Your posts should all be visible now, and you should be out of training before too much longer. If you have any questions, feel free to PM me or another moderator.

[notlovinit]

I used to be just like you are now. Whenever a customer would be horrible to me it would eat at me forever. It actually got to a really bad point where things people would say would stick in my head and the situations would run through my head at night to the point where I couldn't sleep because I would get so worked up about it. And this wouldn't just be things that happened that day, it could have happened when a year or more ago and it would affect me.

Here is what has helped me:
1. After the conversation with the horrible person, immediately forget about it. Turn to a coworker and say something like "Hey, so what were you saying before about such and such?" to completely change the subject. Bonus points if the SC hears you say this because then they will know they didn't get to you and it will bug them instead.
2. When you get home from work, don't talk about work. Don't think about work. Pretend you don't have a job. Think about the fun things you are going to do that night or what you have to get done. Anything but work.
3. Reading the forums on here has really helped because it makes me realize that every industry has to deal with these people and no matter what you say the customer will not be satisfied unless they get their way. These people are just manner-less, illogical, stupid, dumb, mean, rude, and tacky. Nothing will get through to them. It is not your fault.


I think the thing that helped me the most was imaging that person outside the situation. If I have a customer upset with me over the amount of pickles we put on a sandwich then how horrible must the rest of their life be? If such little petty things get them so worked up and angry, then they must spend most of their life angry. That is not a fun life. I honestly feel bad for them that they have such anger issues. I get to go home and do fun things and when I go to stores I have a generally good time and don't get in arguments with people. My life isn't so completely horrible that I feel like yelling every 2.5 minutes. These people don't have that kind of life and that is sad. If giving them more pickles makes their life just a little bit more bearable then so be it. They obviously have nothing else going for them.

Hope this helps.

[RealUnimportant]

I've lurked here for a month or so now, but reading this has finally pushed me to register.

I think that being told to smile after she's asked for your names to report you to management is more than sucky - it's like asking the condemned to perform a quick song & dance before the needle's pushed in!

You handled the situation as best you could, and if that means throwing sh*t around or having a few tears afterwards then that's what you need to do. As others have said, you'll grow a thicker skin over time - doesn't mean that you won't still feel like a cry, but you'll probably be able to defer it until later... or divert the energy elsewhere.

I'm often asked how I manage to keep my cool in the face of shouty EWs & SCs; my philosophy is that I only need to spend a few minutes serving these idiots, whereas they have to spend the rest of their lives being idiots, so I come out on top.

[Seshat]

A trick my husband taught me:

When someone is throwing a tantrum, watch their performance. Grade it in your mind. Give them points for realism, how much sense their argument makes, stompiness of the stomping, artistic flailing of hands, and so on.

He cured me of tantrums pretty quickly! He never responded with anger or anything satisfying, he was just very detached and waited until I was over it.

Another option is to just stand there and wait. Look bored if you want to. When they ask 'are you listening to me' or whatever they ask - and they will - say 'I'm just waiting for you to treat me like a human'. Or 'I'm waiting for you to be ready to discuss this like an adult'. You may well need good management to get away with that one.
Maybe someone who doesn't have sensible management can make suggestions for lines to use.

The important thing to keep in your head is that just because THEY are yelling, YOU don't have to react to it. Their yelling is as meaningless as baboons in a cage. Or a toddler throwing a tantrum. All you need to do is ensure that the toddler (customer) doesn't injure themselves, and wait for it to pass.

Keep yourself detached from their anger. It's THEIRS, not yours. Just because they're offering it to you doesn't mean you have to accept it. If someone offered you physical garbage, would you accept it? Of course not! So why accept emotional garbage?

Practice, of course, will make perfect.

As for co-workers seeing you de-stress: just because you're a supervisor doesn't, and shouldn't, make you non-human. It's actually better for your co-workers to know and recognise that you're human.

[Jay 2K Winger]

Going to just echo a lot of the advice people have offered and remind you that you'll get better at letting the abuse roll off of you.

I've been fortunate not to get many abusive customers in my time (it helps being 6'2" and broad-shouldered), and one of the key reasons is the fact that I seem to radiate an aura of "don't piss me off." Don't get me wrong, I'm a nice person, but I just give off this aura that keeps the real assholes from trying anything on me.

Remember-- the jerks, assholes, SCs, and EWs of the world look for easy targets. If you tell yourself NOT to be one, you'll carry yourself better, and however subconsciously, the Suck will pick up on it and it will-- well, much as the trolls of Discworld say of Granny Weatherwax-- Go Around The Mountain.

Best of luck!

[PepperElf]

lol why that set me off idk but thats when my ugly crying face came on

... that's normal actually.

That happened to me in boot camp when I was having a really bad day. I was mad and had my mental shields up good and strong... until someone said "Hey leave PepperElf alone for a while" or something like that.

All the other shit didn't do anything to me, except piss me off and make me tense... but suddenly having someone on my side broke through my shield and armor.



as for what I personally do when a customer pisses me off... Sometimes I'll rant here, but sometimes that also makes me KEEP thinking about it too. Like my post about the "Nasty bitch"... when she came back to pick up her computer she was the same nasty bitch she was the first day. All whining and bitching that I wasn't listening to her etc. That time however I didn't post the update because I just wanted to keep her out of my head.

So for special cases like that I remind myself "I'm off work now. She is gone. I do not have to think about her or work period" and that helps a bit. Especially if I start dreaming about work.

[auntiem]

A trick my husband taught me:

When someone is throwing a tantrum, watch their performance. Grade it in your mind. Give them points for realism, how much sense their argument makes, stompiness of the stomping, artistic flailing of hands, and so on.

My sister is a professional director and she does this all the time. Her favorite line is "Next time try a different line reading, I'm just not connecting with the character" and then she walks away. Or try thinking in your mind "what a terrible audition, I must contact their agent to make sure they never work in this town again!"

Don't worry - your skin will get thicker. One day you will have job that allows you to "fire" clients that act like this. Belive me - that is one glorious day!

[PepperElf]

When someone is throwing a tantrum, watch their performance. Grade it in your mind. Give them points for realism, how much sense their argument makes, stompiness of the stomping, artistic flailing of hands, and so on.

ROFL!

I'll have to keep that one in mind too.
I wish I'd read that before Nasty Bitch came back!

[zenhashi]

I don't (and haven't) been in any retail jobs, but I've been in a Customer Service-like position for the last two and a half years.

From what I've seen and experienced, some people have an easier time handling "difficult customers/patrons". Then again, the people over here seem to much more reasonable (overall) than those I read about on here :P.

I usually don't dwell on patrons asking me to do something I cannot... And I take pleasure in the fact that if you're nice, I *might* be able to bend the rules a bit (a very tiny bit, mind )... but if you start acting all uppity and condescending towards me, demanding things, I'll bring the full brunt of our "Terms of Use" into play. That means you have to pay for every cent you owe us and no renewing books till you've done so.

Mind you, I've done this maybe once or twice in the last two years or so... So I'm quite pleased with how much sense our patrons have


To get back on topic; You'll get jaded over time, especially if you're a supervisor (where you get the questionable privilege to deal with the more unusual/problem cases).
At least, I blame Customer Service for my cynicism and jadedness.

[BeenThereDoneThat]

to CS! As everyone else has said, it happens to the best of us...I work in a call center and don't have to deal with the SCs up close but they can be pretty hurtful on the phone too. Every once in a while, someone will get to me...it's inevitable. But mostly I just roll my eyes and pretend I care about their stupid complaints and problems and do whatever I have to to get through the call without getting myself in trouble. And then usually a good customer will come along and make me feel better. Hope to see you posting around more!

[ozcatbug]

The fact is there are times when your emotions will get to you. You didn't cry in front of the SC's, which is fantastic. That would have given them power.

I have the ability to cry on cue, and I use this to my advantage at times. When I was on a management program at 'very little helps' in the UK, some of the managers I encountered were of the opinion if you didn't yell at your staff, then you obviously weren't managing properly. I couldn't yell at people as that wasn't my personality. Instead I would use guilt as a management tool. A few tears welling in the eye would get people to do what I wanted as no one wants to see someone in tears. Yes, it may seem underhanded, but for me it worked, and it was only used when other techniques didn't work.

One time when my ability came in really handy was when a new worker that had been targeted by the night manager as a slow worker decided his best course of action was to drink the day away instead of sleeping, then come into work stinking drunk so that he could punch the manager. Even though I would have loved to see that happen as the guy could be a real arse, I did like the new guy and didn't want him to get arrested. He was already going to lose his job, so he didn't need that as well. By sitting down with him in the training room, and watching security just outside the door, my tears helped calm him down. He genuinely liked me and didn't want me to be upset. After over an hour, I was able to calm him down enough to let the night manager into the room. No punches were thrown, and the guy left calmly.

I wrote down my statement, and the night manager, who usually had no empathy for his staff, surprised me when he told me to just go into the office until I was ready to return to work. So I did, then my emotions erupted and I burst into real tears. About 15 minutes later a team member that I had got along with really well when I started, but had really cooled towards me when I was chosen for the management team, walked into the office. She looked at me and asked if I was alright. I told her I would be, and that I would be back on the floor soon. She just told me to take my time. Of course everyone had already heard what had gone on with the drunk new guy, and from when she saw of me in the office, suddenly she responded to me like she did when I first started. Basically, knowing how I had dealt with a very difficult situation that could have gone soooo very wrong, even seeing me in tears didn't change how impressed she was. Any jealousy she might of had of me getting the management role over her, was gone, and she respected me for it. This is probably the same with the coworker that saw you in tears. She was probably impressed at how you dealt with the SC.

[RetailSlave]

Asshole abusive customers really used to get to me and I have had my share of tears. Now we just wait til they leave and make fun of them. Like I tell new cashiers on 3rd shift (and we get a ton of sucky customers) "they are the ones who are making asses of themselves and it gives us something to laugh about later...they don't realize how much we make fun of them and their stupidity."