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This happened years ago when I worked at the library and for some reason just popped in my head and I knew I just had to tell it. Words aren't exact but concepts are the same.
So in come a lady I will call SML for Soy Milk Lady. It was interesting from the start:
SML: Hello, I was wondering if you could help me. Last time I was in here they were unable to check out because there was something wrong on my account. Can you fix that please?
Me: (thinking...wow, that's vague) Let me scan and see if something pops up. Well, nothing seems unusual. Can you describe what happened?
SML: Well, I called to get my books renewed over the phone and it said I didn’t have an account with you.
Me: (lightbulb!) Did you give your number or your name?
SML: Name.
Me: Can I see your ID, please? Yep, your name is spelled wrong on the computer. I’ll just change it right now. No biggie!
SML: Ok, thanks. I’m so glad that you allow renewing on the phone because I just couldn’t drive over here. You see, this cat walked into my house and wouldn’t leave, but then after awhile she started to have kittens. There was all this (goes on to describe in detail the various liquid involved in mammal births) and it was really hard to clean up.
Me: (thinking….is it sad that this isn’t the grossest thing I’ve heard at this job?) Well, that doesn’t sound fun.
SML: And I really have to use a lot of books. You see, I’m researching the positive health benefits of soy milk. Do you know of all them? Soy milk builds muscles and has shown to cure cancer. It’s amazing.
Me: That’s good to know. Unfortunately, there’s a line behind you I must help. I’ll let you go research that now. Just to let you know, we will be closing in 15 minutes.
SML: Ok, thanks for your help! Bye!
I get the line down an start closing procedures. They were supposed to start when this lady was talking to me, so I was behind schedule already. I called Supervisor from the back up to help me so I could possibly get it all done in time.
Finally! It’s closing time. I am out in the shelves and Supervisor is behind the desk getting the last of the patrons out. The door alarm goes off (meaning someone was “stealing” books). I look up and it’s SML setting it off.
Supervisor: Ma’am, if you can come over here, I’ll get these books checked out.
SML (seeing me walk up to the desk): She (pointing to me) checked these books out to me. She must’ve done something wrong.
Me: Well, ma’am, if you remember, I assisted you before you had gotten the books. I fixed your account for you, but didn’t actually check anything out.
SML: Well, I brought books up, I know that much. (Turns to supervisor) I was just telling her about this cat that made her way into my house (tells the whole story again, to horror of Supervisor). These are books on soy milk, you know. Did you know you should drink soy milk? There are so many benefits. For example, ...
Ellipses put in because at this point, it was after closing, so I was walking around making sure the whole closing checklist is taken care of. Meanwhile, she’s talking Supervisor’s ear off and every time she stops for a breath, he says something like, “I’ll keep that in mine. Have a good night.”
Finally, she leaves, but not before the parting words of, “You know, you should really train your staff better. My card was messed up because a member of your staff typed stuff in wrong and this girl here obviously doesn’t know how to check out books,”
We closed 10 minutes late because of her.
So in come a lady I will call SML for Soy Milk Lady. It was interesting from the start:
SML: Hello, I was wondering if you could help me. Last time I was in here they were unable to check out because there was something wrong on my account. Can you fix that please?
Me: (thinking...wow, that's vague) Let me scan and see if something pops up. Well, nothing seems unusual. Can you describe what happened?
SML: Well, I called to get my books renewed over the phone and it said I didn’t have an account with you.
Me: (lightbulb!) Did you give your number or your name?
SML: Name.
Me: Can I see your ID, please? Yep, your name is spelled wrong on the computer. I’ll just change it right now. No biggie!
SML: Ok, thanks. I’m so glad that you allow renewing on the phone because I just couldn’t drive over here. You see, this cat walked into my house and wouldn’t leave, but then after awhile she started to have kittens. There was all this (goes on to describe in detail the various liquid involved in mammal births) and it was really hard to clean up.
Me: (thinking….is it sad that this isn’t the grossest thing I’ve heard at this job?) Well, that doesn’t sound fun.
SML: And I really have to use a lot of books. You see, I’m researching the positive health benefits of soy milk. Do you know of all them? Soy milk builds muscles and has shown to cure cancer. It’s amazing.
Me: That’s good to know. Unfortunately, there’s a line behind you I must help. I’ll let you go research that now. Just to let you know, we will be closing in 15 minutes.
SML: Ok, thanks for your help! Bye!
I get the line down an start closing procedures. They were supposed to start when this lady was talking to me, so I was behind schedule already. I called Supervisor from the back up to help me so I could possibly get it all done in time.
Finally! It’s closing time. I am out in the shelves and Supervisor is behind the desk getting the last of the patrons out. The door alarm goes off (meaning someone was “stealing” books). I look up and it’s SML setting it off.
Supervisor: Ma’am, if you can come over here, I’ll get these books checked out.
SML (seeing me walk up to the desk): She (pointing to me) checked these books out to me. She must’ve done something wrong.
Me: Well, ma’am, if you remember, I assisted you before you had gotten the books. I fixed your account for you, but didn’t actually check anything out.
SML: Well, I brought books up, I know that much. (Turns to supervisor) I was just telling her about this cat that made her way into my house (tells the whole story again, to horror of Supervisor). These are books on soy milk, you know. Did you know you should drink soy milk? There are so many benefits. For example, ...
Ellipses put in because at this point, it was after closing, so I was walking around making sure the whole closing checklist is taken care of. Meanwhile, she’s talking Supervisor’s ear off and every time she stops for a breath, he says something like, “I’ll keep that in mine. Have a good night.”
Finally, she leaves, but not before the parting words of, “You know, you should really train your staff better. My card was messed up because a member of your staff typed stuff in wrong and this girl here obviously doesn’t know how to check out books,”
We closed 10 minutes late because of her.
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