Some tales from The Gap

[thehuckster]

I've been sharing some of my CVS stories. I worked at CVS from 2000 to 2002, and after major management issues which plagued all of us, I quit CVS and was hired at GAP in the same mall, working there from 2002 to 2004. GAP had a bit of a better clientelle than CVS, so I didn't bring home nearly as many stories, but here are a few of the more memorable ones...

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SC: "Excuse me, sir?"
Me: "What's up?"
SC: "Could you turn down the music in this store? I'm on my cellphone."
(I do it, only because I hated the song)

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A customer was staring at the large wall of jeans we had in the back of the store. I asked him if he needed help. He slowly turned to me with bloodshot eyes and said in a monotone voice, "Thirty million cows were slaughtered to produce the jeans on this wall." He then turned around and slowly walked out of the store, never to be seen again.

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(Completing old biddy's transaction)
Me: "$3.45 is your change, have a nice day."
(Old biddy stands in front of me for a few seconds, just staring)
Me: "Uuh, did you need anything else?"
Old Biddy: "You didn't say 'THANK YOU'"
Me: "Oh, I'm sorry. Tha--"
Old Biddy: "WHY DIDN'T YOU SAY THANK YOU?"
Me: "Because I wished you a nice day, I'm not trying to be rude."
Old Biddy: "Hmph." (leaves)

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Old Man: "Excuse me, do you have any long sleeved t's?"
Me: *raising my hand to point* "Over--"
Old Man: "DON'T POINT! IT'S RUDE TO POINT!"
Me: "Just follow me."

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Man: "Yo, dude..."
Me: "What's up?"
Man: "Gotta quick question for you. Why do you sell pajamas?"
Me: "Hmm?" (Surely there's more to this question than I think)
Man: "I don't understand why you sell pajamas in a fashionable store like GAP."
Me: "I don't understand your question, sir. Pajamas are clothing."
Man: "But not fashionable clothing. I mean, look at this, the PJ's are all plaid and pokadotted, there's nothing here that looks good."
Me: "..."
Man: "So... why do you sell them?"
Me: "...because they're PJ's? I mean, they're just... I don't know how to answer this question to be honest. They're just... we sell PJ's and because you sleep in them they're not meant to be really fashionable."
Man: "I can't accept that answer. GAP sells designer clothes, and these PJ's sort of cheapens them."
Me: (I didn't know trolls left their parents' basement) "I'm afraid I don't have an acceptable answer, then."
Man: "Try me."
Me: "Let me get you a supervisor."

After I called the supervisor over I promptly went elsewhere in the store, and didn't hear the rest of the dialogue. I had forgotten to ask supervisor what happened afterwards.

That's all for now!

[Clover]

Okay, the cell phone guy I would've told to take a hike, the old lady would have gotten her 'thank you' in that particular voice that's just dripping with 'go fuck yourself', the pointing guy would have gotten a "Well you wanted to know where they are." and then ignored, the last guy would have been flat out ignored, and the 'thirty million cows' guy....WTF? He does know denim and leather are not the same thing, right? Denim is tightly-woven cotton. It has nothing to do with cattle! Does he go over to the t-shirt section and proclaim that fifty billion sea turtles died to give us those? What about those awful, awful costume jewelry displays, those cost seventy trillion pangolins their lives!

[C. Cecil Ivanish]

They are all pretty nasty tales of CSuckery, but this one

A customer was staring at the large wall of jeans we had in the back of the store. I asked him if he needed help. He slowly turned to me with bloodshot eyes and said in a monotone voice, "Thirty million cows were slaughtered to produce the jeans on this wall." He then turned around and slowly walked out of the store, never to be seen again.

blows me away.
I understand (don't condone, otherwise I wouldn't be here) pure idiocy. I believe in the existance of conspiracy theorists, religious (or anti-religious) nuts, people with odd quirks and well-meaning imbeciles.
But this one has a lot of them all bunched up in one.

[Seshat]

Especially if the jeans were denim, not leather!

"Thirty million cotton bolls" doesn't have the same ring to it, y'know?

[dalesys]

"Thirty million cotton bolls" doesn't have the same ring to it, y'know?

To a guy with the brain of a boll weevil it does.

[emax4]

A customer was staring at the large wall of jeans we had in the back of the store. I asked him if he needed help. He slowly turned to me with bloodshot eyes and said in a monotone voice, "Thirty million cows were slaughtered to produce the jeans on this wall." He then turned around and slowly walked out of the store, never to be seen again.

Was he wearing jeans? I may have come back with, "think of how many living things died to put the clothes on you.."

(Completing old biddy's transaction)
Me: "$3.45 is your change, have a nice day."
(Old biddy stands in front of me for a few seconds, just staring)
Me: "Uuh, did you need anything else?"
Old Biddy: "You didn't say 'THANK YOU'"
Me: "Oh, I'm sorry. Tha--"
Old Biddy: "WHY DIDN'T YOU SAY THANK YOU?"
Me: "Because I wished you a nice day, I'm not trying to be rude."
Old Biddy: "Hmph." (leaves)

My reply, "When you get hired here and get to be the manager, then you'll have a say on how employees should close a sale. Until then... 'have a nice day!' "

[Geek King]

To a guy with the brain of a boll weevil it does.

Definately Chaotic Weevil.

[Caractacus_Potts]

No guys! You don't understand! The land required to grow the cotton to make the jeans could have supported thirty million cows! Won't anyone think of the delicious cows!

OK, I'm reaching.

[Bloodsoul]

What, you don't remember the great Cow VS Human War of aught'six over ownership of the cotton fields?

I can still hear the moos at night...

[Jay 2K Winger]

No guys! You don't understand! The land required to grow the cotton to make the jeans could have supported thirty million cows! Won't anyone think of the delicious cows!

OK, I'm reaching.

Reminds me of that Ron White bit, talking about some vegetarian who claimed that he was opposed to the farming of cows because it contributed to methane buildup in the ozone or something.

"What're you doing to help the environment?!"
"I'm eating the cows. BUT I'M ONLY ONE MAN!"

[Mytical]

Even if made of leather, you know how many pairs of pants 30 million cows would produce? There are warehouses full of leather jeans, piled high, that would not be equal to 30 million cows worth of pants. That is just.... How many blasted pants were there? No .. wait.. I don't want to know. Trying to understand the crazy again.

[MoonCat]

The anti-pajama guy was nuts. No offense to the Gap and its employees, but I hardly think it's considered the height of designer fashion. Nice clothes, but it's not exactly couture. And anyway, has he seen all the people walking around out in public in their pajama pants?

[Tama]

Maybe that was the basis for his argument?


There are some really great PJ pants...Mario designs and such.

[bainsidhe]

I suspect the "Thank you" lady shares a sentiment that's very common, especially with older generations. I remember lurking on a message board where folks listed their peeves about shopping. A surprisingly common complaint was how cashiers no longer said thank you and come again at the end of each sale. Didn't matter if the employee had gone above and beyond to help the customer find something, or if the cashier wished them a pleasant day or even if the cashier helped load the cart and take things out to the car. If he/she didn't say thank you and come again, they were being utterly rude.

I've always appreciated a polite and/or sincere reply versus a scripted one. Guess I'm the minority.