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You’d think I’d LIKE it when someone calls in to inform me that there are cars without permits parked in their lot. Quite the opposite actually. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, most “civilian” calls for full lots are red herrings that only waste fuel and manhours to follow up on.
Mostly they are cases of people who grow so accustomed to using a specific space that when they find it taken, they assume the rest of the lot is full too and call us. People can become strangely possessive of “their” spaces and finding another car in “their” cherished spot is almost as bad as if they just came home from a hard day at the office and found their significant other in bed with a latin soap opera star. Calling us is simply playing out Act II wherin the jilted lover wreaks bloody revenge by hiring some “muscle” to take care of things. I never thought about it until now how many times over the years I’ve been an unwilling pawn in someone else’s power fantasy… scary thought really. (And that’s in situations where there aren’t ASSIGNED spaces, where there are, well that’s a different rant I’ll get to down the road)
Needless to say, most of these calls are malarkey, and that’s to say nothing of people who got towed and want to lure us back to the scene of the crime so they can yell/scream at us some more and figure claiming the population of a small Balkan nation is illegally parked at the lot will do the trick. Or it’s the faulty belief that if they can find one car in the lot without a permit that didn’t get towed, they get off free because we clearly didn’t check everything. (Tip: This isn’t Pokemon, we do NOT have to catch em’ all to win, besides, that excuse has been tried in vain on speeding tickets for years, to no avail)
Anyway, with that, let us segue into a couple of my favorite such calls over the years.
CALL I
Person calls in claiming the lot at her apartment is full. This building has a two level garage on the first 2 floors, and if it fills up, there’s 15 or so spots along the back alley of the building outside you can use. This one sounds like it has merit, so I go check. Predictably, no illegal cars, the garage is full though, but outside is clear. So I call them back.
-Hi, Friendly Neighborhood Towing, I just went through the complex and checked everything, there are no illegally parked cars here
-Yes there are! There aren’t any spaces!
-Yes, The inside is full, but there’s a dozen outside spaces open
-But I don’t want to use those!
-Well, I’m sorry, but that is all that is available, I cannot tow anyone from inside the garage as they all have permits, you’re free to use one of the outside spaces until something opens up inside
Silence
Silence
Silence
Hmm, did my craptacular cellphone drop yet another call?
-Hello?
-You can’t help me? *sniff* *sniff*, You can’t tow anyone? *sniff*
-Legally, no. You’ll have to park outside
-BUT I DON’T WANNA PARK MY CAR OUTSIDE! IT MIGHT GET DAMAGED OUT THERE! *sniff* *sniff*
And at that point, she actually started crying….. and I hung up.
CALL II
-Yes, why did I get towed from 909 Old Mill Road?
-That’s a private lot for the apartment there and your car did not have a permit
-But, there’s a bunch of other cars here!
-Yes, with permits, again, your car did not have a permit to be there, that’s why it was towed, that lot is private property and only those allowed by the apartment complex can use that lot
-Well, I find it HIGHLY SUSPICIOUS that I was the only one who got towed!
-Your car didn’t have a permit
-But, only I got TOWED! You don’t think that’s just a little CONVENIENT?
(For me, yes, means I don’t have to make another trip)
-No, you were the only person there who didn’t have a permit
-NUH-UH! Nobody else here has one either!
-Yes, yes they do Ma’m, that lot only has 20 spaces and I know every car in that lot, we were just in there 30 mintues ago, and yours is one I never saw before and it had no permit, that’s why it was towed, that’s the end of the discussion and I’m not going to argue with you
-Because you don’t want to admit you screwed up!
-No, because you were the only one who didn’t belong
-I find that VERY hard to believe! This is all very SUSPICIOUS! You need to come back here and tow the rest of these or else I’ll be making a complaint.
-I can’t do that, nobody else there is illegally parked.
-Well, I’m going to file a complaint! I just found a car with NO PERMIT!
-What kind of car?
-A Purple Chrysler!
-Purple Chrysler Concorde? His permit is in the lower left corner of the rear window
-Ha! Found Another! A Silver Ford!
-The silver hatchback Focus? Look in the left corner of the driver’s side rear window, he has a permit, and 3 more from the previous 3 years all in a row left to right, he’s been there for a long time.
-And a pickup!
-Silver Tacoma? Right rear of the back cab glass, you can’t see it easily because he has heavy tint
-Four more! A Subaru, and 2 black cars…. And ….
At this point it’s clear that they’re just going down the row and naming every single car, they aren’t even looking themselves, and yet, despite the fact I am pointing out where the permits are in each vehicle, OVER THE PHONE, they still aren’t convinced that I know my elbow from my butt in that lot, unlike them
-I’m sorry, but everyone in that lot has a permit
-NO! YOU NEED TO COME DOWN HERE NOW!
-That’s not going to happen Ma’m
-WELL, YOURE VERY RUDE!!!! *click*
The phone rang with that number twice more that night, I never picked it up. Rude? Maybe, sanity-saving? DEFINITELY!
Mostly they are cases of people who grow so accustomed to using a specific space that when they find it taken, they assume the rest of the lot is full too and call us. People can become strangely possessive of “their” spaces and finding another car in “their” cherished spot is almost as bad as if they just came home from a hard day at the office and found their significant other in bed with a latin soap opera star. Calling us is simply playing out Act II wherin the jilted lover wreaks bloody revenge by hiring some “muscle” to take care of things. I never thought about it until now how many times over the years I’ve been an unwilling pawn in someone else’s power fantasy… scary thought really. (And that’s in situations where there aren’t ASSIGNED spaces, where there are, well that’s a different rant I’ll get to down the road)
Needless to say, most of these calls are malarkey, and that’s to say nothing of people who got towed and want to lure us back to the scene of the crime so they can yell/scream at us some more and figure claiming the population of a small Balkan nation is illegally parked at the lot will do the trick. Or it’s the faulty belief that if they can find one car in the lot without a permit that didn’t get towed, they get off free because we clearly didn’t check everything. (Tip: This isn’t Pokemon, we do NOT have to catch em’ all to win, besides, that excuse has been tried in vain on speeding tickets for years, to no avail)
Anyway, with that, let us segue into a couple of my favorite such calls over the years.
CALL I
Person calls in claiming the lot at her apartment is full. This building has a two level garage on the first 2 floors, and if it fills up, there’s 15 or so spots along the back alley of the building outside you can use. This one sounds like it has merit, so I go check. Predictably, no illegal cars, the garage is full though, but outside is clear. So I call them back.
-Hi, Friendly Neighborhood Towing, I just went through the complex and checked everything, there are no illegally parked cars here
-Yes there are! There aren’t any spaces!
-Yes, The inside is full, but there’s a dozen outside spaces open
-But I don’t want to use those!
-Well, I’m sorry, but that is all that is available, I cannot tow anyone from inside the garage as they all have permits, you’re free to use one of the outside spaces until something opens up inside
Silence
Silence
Silence
Hmm, did my craptacular cellphone drop yet another call?
-Hello?
-You can’t help me? *sniff* *sniff*, You can’t tow anyone? *sniff*
-Legally, no. You’ll have to park outside
-BUT I DON’T WANNA PARK MY CAR OUTSIDE! IT MIGHT GET DAMAGED OUT THERE! *sniff* *sniff*
And at that point, she actually started crying….. and I hung up.
CALL II
-Yes, why did I get towed from 909 Old Mill Road?
-That’s a private lot for the apartment there and your car did not have a permit
-But, there’s a bunch of other cars here!
-Yes, with permits, again, your car did not have a permit to be there, that’s why it was towed, that lot is private property and only those allowed by the apartment complex can use that lot
-Well, I find it HIGHLY SUSPICIOUS that I was the only one who got towed!
-Your car didn’t have a permit
-But, only I got TOWED! You don’t think that’s just a little CONVENIENT?
(For me, yes, means I don’t have to make another trip)
-No, you were the only person there who didn’t have a permit
-NUH-UH! Nobody else here has one either!
-Yes, yes they do Ma’m, that lot only has 20 spaces and I know every car in that lot, we were just in there 30 mintues ago, and yours is one I never saw before and it had no permit, that’s why it was towed, that’s the end of the discussion and I’m not going to argue with you
-Because you don’t want to admit you screwed up!
-No, because you were the only one who didn’t belong
-I find that VERY hard to believe! This is all very SUSPICIOUS! You need to come back here and tow the rest of these or else I’ll be making a complaint.
-I can’t do that, nobody else there is illegally parked.
-Well, I’m going to file a complaint! I just found a car with NO PERMIT!
-What kind of car?
-A Purple Chrysler!
-Purple Chrysler Concorde? His permit is in the lower left corner of the rear window
-Ha! Found Another! A Silver Ford!
-The silver hatchback Focus? Look in the left corner of the driver’s side rear window, he has a permit, and 3 more from the previous 3 years all in a row left to right, he’s been there for a long time.
-And a pickup!
-Silver Tacoma? Right rear of the back cab glass, you can’t see it easily because he has heavy tint
-Four more! A Subaru, and 2 black cars…. And ….
At this point it’s clear that they’re just going down the row and naming every single car, they aren’t even looking themselves, and yet, despite the fact I am pointing out where the permits are in each vehicle, OVER THE PHONE, they still aren’t convinced that I know my elbow from my butt in that lot, unlike them
-I’m sorry, but everyone in that lot has a permit
-NO! YOU NEED TO COME DOWN HERE NOW!
-That’s not going to happen Ma’m
-WELL, YOURE VERY RUDE!!!! *click*
The phone rang with that number twice more that night, I never picked it up. Rude? Maybe, sanity-saving? DEFINITELY!
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