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What Am I Suppose To Do Then?
As the title indicates, small parts of this may become ranty instead of amusing. >.>
I also admittedly haven't written much this week. It's been a bad week, physically speaking, which takes its toll both on your sense of humour and the energy you have to accomplish anything. Even right now I'm teetering between Good Day / Bad Day. As there is still at least 2-3 Bad Days per week.
Sharing is Caring
Look, don't take this the wrong way, but it is possible to share too much. I'm sure your a lovely person and perhaps there is at least one or two people in your life with whom sharing this level of information is perfectly acceptable. However, I, a complete stranger on the other side of the continent, am not one of these people.
Don’t believe me? Well, let us review then. You're calling just to get a call back from the company. This requires only your name and number. But here is what I know so far:
1) Your occupation.
2) Your marital status. ( Recently divorced )
3) The reason for your marital status. ( He cheated on you with a coworker )
4) Your maiden name.
5) Your intention to revert to your maiden name.
6) Everything he recieved in the settlement.
7) Everything you recieved in the settlement.
8) That you own a little winery.
9) That you got to keep this in the settlement despite him wanting it.
10) That you would like to set the winery up as a side business.
11) You think the winery could use a new roof.
12) Maybe the garage too.
13) Your marital status. ( Just in case I forgot in the last 30 seconds ).
14) That you're better off without him.
15) Oh, and the winery, you still have a winery. It is very lovely.
Now let us review what I don’t know about you so far:
1) Your phone number.
See the problem? I have two questions: Name and phone number. You, however, have answered 15 questions yet still managed to miss one.
How Did You Get That Wrong?
Me: “And your name please?”
SC: “Steven”
Me: “Is that Steven with a V or a PH?”
SC: “Uh, T”
While your….statement….may be factually correct, it does not actually answer my question. In fact it has no real bearing on my question whatsoever. I tried to make this easy for you, you know. I really did. I gave you all the tools you needed to succeed in facing this challenge. I mean it was a multiple choice question with only two options. Yet still, still you somehow found a way to fail at it.
A Variety Of Services
SC: “My boyfriend was talking to someone online”
Yes, very interesting…..who are you again? You seem to have mistaken me for someone else. Or perhaps for some sort of private detective agency? While our talents are many here, I fear that is not on the list of services we can provide. Although if there was sufficient demand, we may begin offering that service. If you like, you can leave your name and number, and we’ll contact you if/when our new operator training regime begins to include fingerprinting techniques.
SC: “He wants to come to Canada”
As many do, I’m sure. But we do not offer immigration service’s either. Although if there was sufficient demand, we may begin offering that service. If you like, you can leave your name and number, and we’ll contact you if/when our new operator training regime begins to include immigration law.
SC: “Is this the company that brings you to Canada?”
Me: “No, sorry.”
Brings you? That sounds a tad odd. Are you really talking about immigration here? Because we do not offer smuggling services at this time. Although if there was sufficient demand, we may begin offering that service. If you like, you can leave your name and number, and we’ll contact you if/when we purchase an unmarked shipping vessel registered out of Algeria.
Soundtrack
Me: “You’re heat isn’t working?”
SC: “No.”
Well, it’s not that I don’t sympathize, however….and I sincerely hope I’m not just hallucinating this, but for some reason there seems to be some kind of mystery themed music that has begun playing half way through this call. I’m assuming it is on your end, and not in my head. But if the soundtrack is any indication, you don’t need maintenance, you need Miss Marple. Nothing is wrong with your furnace, the problem is that villainy is afoot.
Yet More Variety
“Do you know the number to a towing company?”
Hmm, no, not off the top of my head unfortunately. It’s also not a service that we normally provide. Although…..
That's Not a Requirement, Trust Me
Me: “And do you have an email address?”
SC: “Oh, no, I didn’t go to school.”
…Alright? Well, unfortunate as your childhood may have been, having an email address does not actually require an education. Believe me. 10 minutes on the Internet should make this starkly apparent. I mean there are household pets that have email addresses. Trust me when I say the bar is set pretty low, you shouldn’t have any problems.
Gah, Really
Thank you, intrepid caller! Because of you, I have learned many new things which have further dimmed my opinion of society. Yes, without your kind help, I never would have come to the following realizations:
1) Gears of War sneakers actually exist.
2) We sell Gears of War sneakers.
3) Somewhere out there, is actually a person that wants to wear Gears of War sneakers.
4) This person apparently woke up at 2am and went “You know what? I want to wear an X-Box game on my feet. I must make immediately plans to make this happen.” Before proceeding to the phone.
Again? Really?
( Yes, its the same damn guy calling a few days later to order moar )
Me: “And your name please?”
SC: “Steven”
Me: “Is that Steven with a V or a PH?”
SC: “Ummm, T”
Really, dude? Really? You know, I’m not sure what’s worse. The fact you’re actually calling again or the fact you actually got that question wrong again.
What Am I Suppose To Do Then?
Now, I merely need to rant for a minute. Usually, I only get crap from one end of the equation at work: The callers. Occasionally, I get crap from a client, but its rare. However, once in a blue moon, the planets align and I get crap from both ends at the same time. Usually this is the client's fault one way or another.
Case in point: We have one client, who thankfully gets calls rather rarely, who basically doesn't want to have anything to do with their customers. So somehow they had the brilliant idea of not only having us field their calls, but having us dispatch their calls based on the problem at hand. IE: Plumbing problem, make us call the plumber. Broken window, make us call a glass company. Etc etc. They don't want to be anywhere in the loop at all.
The vital flaw in all of this is that we're not the client, so we can't authorize any sort of service that would cost the client money. AKA every single problem someone would be calling about. You can see how this could rapidly turn every single call into a problem, and you'd be right!
This weekend I had a call from one of the client's tenants ( They manage condos ), about a parking gate. Specifically, the gate flipped its shit and is going up and down over and over. In the process, it beat the shit out of this poor guy's car. Busted the front and rear windows, dented the hood, etc. So he's pretty upset obviously. On top of that, the gate being open is a security problem ( Druggies like to try and run under the gate after a car gos in and then leisurely break into every car in the lot at night ).
I can't send someone to fix it because I don't work for the company. I have to call the dude that manages the building. Who promptly flips his shit on me and tears a strip off me for even daring to call him about anything short of the building being on fire or a murder in the front lobby. He was really an ass about it too, talking to me like I was 5 years old. My protests and explainations were futile. He told me that if *I* wanted it fixed ( Yes, he specifically said if I wanted to fix it. ) I could call the service company if I wanted too. But otherwise I could fark off and don't I dare ever call him again.
Of course I call the service company and they tell me I can't authorize a service call because I'm not the building manager. Just as predicted.
So I spent the rest of the shift stuck between a rock and a hard place. Client doesn't want to do shit. But tenants are obviously quite pissed off that anyone can just stroll into the parkade and break into their car. They also can't enter or leave the parkade without the gate destroying their car. So tough shit if you have to go to work or something, kids!
Nrrrrrr.
I also admittedly haven't written much this week. It's been a bad week, physically speaking, which takes its toll both on your sense of humour and the energy you have to accomplish anything. Even right now I'm teetering between Good Day / Bad Day. As there is still at least 2-3 Bad Days per week.
Sharing is Caring
Look, don't take this the wrong way, but it is possible to share too much. I'm sure your a lovely person and perhaps there is at least one or two people in your life with whom sharing this level of information is perfectly acceptable. However, I, a complete stranger on the other side of the continent, am not one of these people.
Don’t believe me? Well, let us review then. You're calling just to get a call back from the company. This requires only your name and number. But here is what I know so far:
1) Your occupation.
2) Your marital status. ( Recently divorced )
3) The reason for your marital status. ( He cheated on you with a coworker )
4) Your maiden name.
5) Your intention to revert to your maiden name.
6) Everything he recieved in the settlement.
7) Everything you recieved in the settlement.
8) That you own a little winery.
9) That you got to keep this in the settlement despite him wanting it.
10) That you would like to set the winery up as a side business.
11) You think the winery could use a new roof.
12) Maybe the garage too.
13) Your marital status. ( Just in case I forgot in the last 30 seconds ).
14) That you're better off without him.
15) Oh, and the winery, you still have a winery. It is very lovely.
Now let us review what I don’t know about you so far:
1) Your phone number.
See the problem? I have two questions: Name and phone number. You, however, have answered 15 questions yet still managed to miss one.
How Did You Get That Wrong?
Me: “And your name please?”
SC: “Steven”
Me: “Is that Steven with a V or a PH?”
SC: “Uh, T”
While your….statement….may be factually correct, it does not actually answer my question. In fact it has no real bearing on my question whatsoever. I tried to make this easy for you, you know. I really did. I gave you all the tools you needed to succeed in facing this challenge. I mean it was a multiple choice question with only two options. Yet still, still you somehow found a way to fail at it.
A Variety Of Services
SC: “My boyfriend was talking to someone online”
Yes, very interesting…..who are you again? You seem to have mistaken me for someone else. Or perhaps for some sort of private detective agency? While our talents are many here, I fear that is not on the list of services we can provide. Although if there was sufficient demand, we may begin offering that service. If you like, you can leave your name and number, and we’ll contact you if/when our new operator training regime begins to include fingerprinting techniques.
SC: “He wants to come to Canada”
As many do, I’m sure. But we do not offer immigration service’s either. Although if there was sufficient demand, we may begin offering that service. If you like, you can leave your name and number, and we’ll contact you if/when our new operator training regime begins to include immigration law.
SC: “Is this the company that brings you to Canada?”
Me: “No, sorry.”
Brings you? That sounds a tad odd. Are you really talking about immigration here? Because we do not offer smuggling services at this time. Although if there was sufficient demand, we may begin offering that service. If you like, you can leave your name and number, and we’ll contact you if/when we purchase an unmarked shipping vessel registered out of Algeria.
Soundtrack
Me: “You’re heat isn’t working?”
SC: “No.”
Well, it’s not that I don’t sympathize, however….and I sincerely hope I’m not just hallucinating this, but for some reason there seems to be some kind of mystery themed music that has begun playing half way through this call. I’m assuming it is on your end, and not in my head. But if the soundtrack is any indication, you don’t need maintenance, you need Miss Marple. Nothing is wrong with your furnace, the problem is that villainy is afoot.
Yet More Variety
“Do you know the number to a towing company?”
Hmm, no, not off the top of my head unfortunately. It’s also not a service that we normally provide. Although…..
That's Not a Requirement, Trust Me
Me: “And do you have an email address?”
SC: “Oh, no, I didn’t go to school.”
…Alright? Well, unfortunate as your childhood may have been, having an email address does not actually require an education. Believe me. 10 minutes on the Internet should make this starkly apparent. I mean there are household pets that have email addresses. Trust me when I say the bar is set pretty low, you shouldn’t have any problems.
Gah, Really
Thank you, intrepid caller! Because of you, I have learned many new things which have further dimmed my opinion of society. Yes, without your kind help, I never would have come to the following realizations:
1) Gears of War sneakers actually exist.
2) We sell Gears of War sneakers.
3) Somewhere out there, is actually a person that wants to wear Gears of War sneakers.
4) This person apparently woke up at 2am and went “You know what? I want to wear an X-Box game on my feet. I must make immediately plans to make this happen.” Before proceeding to the phone.
Again? Really?
( Yes, its the same damn guy calling a few days later to order moar )
Me: “And your name please?”
SC: “Steven”
Me: “Is that Steven with a V or a PH?”
SC: “Ummm, T”
Really, dude? Really? You know, I’m not sure what’s worse. The fact you’re actually calling again or the fact you actually got that question wrong again.
What Am I Suppose To Do Then?
Now, I merely need to rant for a minute. Usually, I only get crap from one end of the equation at work: The callers. Occasionally, I get crap from a client, but its rare. However, once in a blue moon, the planets align and I get crap from both ends at the same time. Usually this is the client's fault one way or another.
Case in point: We have one client, who thankfully gets calls rather rarely, who basically doesn't want to have anything to do with their customers. So somehow they had the brilliant idea of not only having us field their calls, but having us dispatch their calls based on the problem at hand. IE: Plumbing problem, make us call the plumber. Broken window, make us call a glass company. Etc etc. They don't want to be anywhere in the loop at all.
The vital flaw in all of this is that we're not the client, so we can't authorize any sort of service that would cost the client money. AKA every single problem someone would be calling about. You can see how this could rapidly turn every single call into a problem, and you'd be right!
This weekend I had a call from one of the client's tenants ( They manage condos ), about a parking gate. Specifically, the gate flipped its shit and is going up and down over and over. In the process, it beat the shit out of this poor guy's car. Busted the front and rear windows, dented the hood, etc. So he's pretty upset obviously. On top of that, the gate being open is a security problem ( Druggies like to try and run under the gate after a car gos in and then leisurely break into every car in the lot at night ).
I can't send someone to fix it because I don't work for the company. I have to call the dude that manages the building. Who promptly flips his shit on me and tears a strip off me for even daring to call him about anything short of the building being on fire or a murder in the front lobby. He was really an ass about it too, talking to me like I was 5 years old. My protests and explainations were futile. He told me that if *I* wanted it fixed ( Yes, he specifically said if I wanted to fix it. ) I could call the service company if I wanted too. But otherwise I could fark off and don't I dare ever call him again.
Of course I call the service company and they tell me I can't authorize a service call because I'm not the building manager. Just as predicted.
So I spent the rest of the shift stuck between a rock and a hard place. Client doesn't want to do shit. But tenants are obviously quite pissed off that anyone can just stroll into the parkade and break into their car. They also can't enter or leave the parkade without the gate destroying their car. So tough shit if you have to go to work or something, kids!
Nrrrrrr.
Hope it gets better soon.
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