Tweet
It's an onslaught tonight!
Phone Tree Fails
Okay, here is how our phone system is set up when you call:
- Greeting
- Instruction to dial number of room you wish to call
- Dial 1 for directions
- Dial 2 for reservations (this goes to Corporate reservation center)
- Dial 3 for desk
Notice that to reach me, that's the last option you are given.
I had tonight not one, not two, not three, not four, but five people reach me at the front desk and ask to be transferred to a specific room. They could dial the room number directly, but instead they ignore that message, sit through the other messages before getting to the option for the desk, and ask me to put them through.
One of these was particularly amusing:
Me: *spiel*
SC (in a very urgent tone): "I need room XXX right now please!"
Me: "Do you have the name of the guest?"
SC: "Jack and Jill are in the room. I really need to talk to them?"
Me: "Do you know their last name?"
SC: "No."
Me: "I'm sorry, I need a last name to transfer you."
SC: "Oh, ok, thanks bye!" *click*
And it's true. I need first and last name before I can transfer you. But if the automated phone system is on, the caller could just dial the room number and bypass the name requirement.
(Sometimes, I do transfer calls with just the first name, however the room they were calling is a suspected drug room, so I'm going to f*** with any calls I intercept for that room as much as I can.)
Remember this phone tree set-up; we're coming back to it later...
You're off...
Lost Guest: "Is this [competitor]?"
Me: "No, they're *gives directions*"
We all know SCs don't read. This guy passed three large signs indicating [our motel] to get here, not to mention he was looking at [our motel]'s logo on my shirt while he was asking the question.
To add further to his fail, [competitor] is out on the main drag. We are set back, off a little side street, and are pretty well hidden (almost a nightly basis, I have to help a phone caller find us). It's way easier to find [competitor] than us. You have to really look for us to find us...
You're much further off...
Lost Guest: "Uh...sorry, I thought this was [competitor that also has a numeral in their name]. How do I get there?"
[Competitor that also has a numeral in their name] isn't even in this town; they're in the next town up. Congrats! You do get to redeem some points for not assuming we were associated with that other brand, though. So good job!
What part of "BRB" do you not understand?
So, hopefully without going into tmi, my intestinal tract has been rebelling against me this past week. When it attacks me at work, I lock the office, put up the "We'll be right back!
" sign, and go to the bathroom. I lock the office, because I do not want to subject guests to the smells and associated sound effects emanating from the break room bathroom, which is right behind the check-in area.
I sit down, and the phone starts ringing. And ringing. And ringing. Whatever. I'm not going anywhere for a few minutes.
Then, the doorbell at the night window (where the sign is hanging up) starts dinging. And dinging. And dinging. And they hit it a fourth time!
Okay, whoever you are, the sign says I'll be there when I get there. If I could get there, I wouldn't have the sign up and the office locked, now would I? Ringing the doorbell isn't going to magically make my bowels any more cooperative (though that would be awesome if it did work that way). The sign is up because I can't get to you right now. The doorbell is not a magic button that is going to change that.
Once I am done, I get into the lobby. Whoever was ringing my doorbell was gone. I opened the lobby door and poke my head into the vending area, and there's no person, but the floor is soaking wet! It was as if they brought the whole pool with them! (Quite possibly, this means they needed towels.)
I quickly return to my phone which is still ringing, answer it, and...
SC: "Yeah, I need to make a reservation for [date way in the future]."
Remember when callers could press 2 for reservations? And it would ring to someone who wasn't me?
Me: "Hang on, let me transfer you to a reservation agent." I transfer him to the reservation office, then run outside to see if I can find my doorbell ringer. I don't find them, so I mop up the vending room, and resume my normal work duties.
Finally, if you don't have a reservation...
If you didn't reserve a room, don't get butthurt when I say I'm (1)sold out of smoking, (2)sold out of first-floor rooms, and (3)sold out on the non-highway side. We've been selling out on almost a nightly basis. It's starting to slow down during the week, but weekends we are still going strong. Maybe next time you'll plan ahead. (hah, who am I kidding?)
I can't pull more rooms out of my ass. Right now, I don't think you want what I am able to pull out of there...
Phone Tree Fails
Okay, here is how our phone system is set up when you call:
- Greeting
- Instruction to dial number of room you wish to call
- Dial 1 for directions
- Dial 2 for reservations (this goes to Corporate reservation center)
- Dial 3 for desk
Notice that to reach me, that's the last option you are given.
I had tonight not one, not two, not three, not four, but five people reach me at the front desk and ask to be transferred to a specific room. They could dial the room number directly, but instead they ignore that message, sit through the other messages before getting to the option for the desk, and ask me to put them through.
One of these was particularly amusing:
Me: *spiel*
SC (in a very urgent tone): "I need room XXX right now please!"
Me: "Do you have the name of the guest?"
SC: "Jack and Jill are in the room. I really need to talk to them?"
Me: "Do you know their last name?"
SC: "No."
Me: "I'm sorry, I need a last name to transfer you."
SC: "Oh, ok, thanks bye!" *click*
And it's true. I need first and last name before I can transfer you. But if the automated phone system is on, the caller could just dial the room number and bypass the name requirement.
(Sometimes, I do transfer calls with just the first name, however the room they were calling is a suspected drug room, so I'm going to f*** with any calls I intercept for that room as much as I can.)
Remember this phone tree set-up; we're coming back to it later...
You're off...
Lost Guest: "Is this [competitor]?"
Me: "No, they're *gives directions*"
We all know SCs don't read. This guy passed three large signs indicating [our motel] to get here, not to mention he was looking at [our motel]'s logo on my shirt while he was asking the question.
To add further to his fail, [competitor] is out on the main drag. We are set back, off a little side street, and are pretty well hidden (almost a nightly basis, I have to help a phone caller find us). It's way easier to find [competitor] than us. You have to really look for us to find us...
You're much further off...
Lost Guest: "Uh...sorry, I thought this was [competitor that also has a numeral in their name]. How do I get there?"
[Competitor that also has a numeral in their name] isn't even in this town; they're in the next town up. Congrats! You do get to redeem some points for not assuming we were associated with that other brand, though. So good job!
What part of "BRB" do you not understand?
So, hopefully without going into tmi, my intestinal tract has been rebelling against me this past week. When it attacks me at work, I lock the office, put up the "We'll be right back!
" sign, and go to the bathroom. I lock the office, because I do not want to subject guests to the smells and associated sound effects emanating from the break room bathroom, which is right behind the check-in area.I sit down, and the phone starts ringing. And ringing. And ringing. Whatever. I'm not going anywhere for a few minutes.
Then, the doorbell at the night window (where the sign is hanging up) starts dinging. And dinging. And dinging. And they hit it a fourth time!
Okay, whoever you are, the sign says I'll be there when I get there. If I could get there, I wouldn't have the sign up and the office locked, now would I? Ringing the doorbell isn't going to magically make my bowels any more cooperative (though that would be awesome if it did work that way). The sign is up because I can't get to you right now. The doorbell is not a magic button that is going to change that.
Once I am done, I get into the lobby. Whoever was ringing my doorbell was gone. I opened the lobby door and poke my head into the vending area, and there's no person, but the floor is soaking wet! It was as if they brought the whole pool with them! (Quite possibly, this means they needed towels.)
I quickly return to my phone which is still ringing, answer it, and...
SC: "Yeah, I need to make a reservation for [date way in the future]."
Remember when callers could press 2 for reservations? And it would ring to someone who wasn't me?
Me: "Hang on, let me transfer you to a reservation agent." I transfer him to the reservation office, then run outside to see if I can find my doorbell ringer. I don't find them, so I mop up the vending room, and resume my normal work duties.
Finally, if you don't have a reservation...
If you didn't reserve a room, don't get butthurt when I say I'm (1)sold out of smoking, (2)sold out of first-floor rooms, and (3)sold out on the non-highway side. We've been selling out on almost a nightly basis. It's starting to slow down during the week, but weekends we are still going strong. Maybe next time you'll plan ahead. (hah, who am I kidding?)
I can't pull more rooms out of my ass. Right now, I don't think you want what I am able to pull out of there...
Comment