CSR worty dirds and things I'm accused of doing...*SFW*

[trailerparkmedic]

once had to take a pregnancy test when I complained of a stomach ache and vomiting. turned out .... I had a stomach bug. but it was the command policy to pregnancy test because... a girl vomiting must be morning sickness.

Frigging military. I went to the base ER with what turned out to be mono. The four women who saw/triaged me before I went back and who were mostly RNs were convinced I was pregnant. The lowly male medic looked at me, turned to the doctor and said "She's got mono, hunh?"


I had some issues with my Xbox live account this morning and I could hear the hesitation in the woman's voice when she told me it could be up to 25 days before I can use the account again. I can't imagine how often she gets yelled at over that.

[Geek King]

I had some issues with my Xbox live account this morning and I could hear the hesitation in the woman's voice when she told me it could be up to 25 days before I can use the account again. I can't imagine how often she gets yelled at over that.

I'm having my account audited myself due to someone breaking into my account somehow. It's going to be more than 25 days--and I had to call to find that out since they haven't even so much as emailed me about it yet, five days after the original date they gave me (30 days so far, for those playing at home). Apparently there's been a rash of account break-ins over the summer. Grr...want my account back.

[Treasure]

OK, this isn't one I get to use (often) but our bookkeeper does -

"We're sorry your account is past due by 30(+) days and is now on CREDIT HOLD - this means that in order to receive tech support you must pay $450/hr in advance 2 hr minimum; on a CC"

See the thing about that is - the Tech guys aren't in charge of the money - so when they get told that they call up to the accounting dept of their company and chew hiney!
(Its amazing how quickly these companies pay when that happens)

[EricKei]

See the thing about that is - the Tech guys aren't in charge of the money

That was one nice thing about when I did accounting tech support (different company - the rate alone tells me that) ... I could honestly tell clients that I had nothing to do with the rate charged and could only quote the TIME used to them. I could, however, pas them along to a manager if they did have issues paying. While some people did balk at our rates (180/hr), it was still cheaper than calling the manufacturer directly unless you bought their full-year-of-service plan. We also had the advantage of no hold time Unless I and the other techs were on calls, we could often start right there and then, save for busy-season (late Dec~early Feb) calls, when having 3-4x normal call volume meant that calling the manufacturer meant 2+ hours ON HOLD and even with us it could mean 90 minutes to call you back -- tho we did call clients instead of making them hold.

What annoyed me was when they pulled massive bullshit like doing an hour-plus call and then getting much or all of the charge reversed because "I was unable to help". The notes I took, and the fact that my SV could SEE me remoting into their system to do the work, tended to counter most of that ^_^ Sadly. they would often get a 15-minuite or so "let's not lose this customer" deduction. Even more sadly, the SV saw no reason to TELL me that this happened, so I normally did not find out until payday, when I likely had put them out of mind and could no longer adequately defend myself against what was now a direct loss of commission pay >_>

It wouldn't have been so bad if the COMPANY took a hit on stuff like that when it wasn't my fault, rather than me...After all, *I* sure as hell had no desire to keep a customer who pulled this garbage.

[Sapphire Silk]

Dirty words I've said (mostly in the ER):

"I have to take your vital signs and history before you can see the doctor"

"We see patients based on priority of need: people with trouble breathing, severe bleeding, or possible heart attacks are seen before people with colds, sprains, or possibly pregnant."

"I know you came in by ambulance. We still see patients by priority of their complaint. You are complaining of a cold. That's why the charge nurse sent you to the waiting room."

"I need a urine sample to test and see if you are actually pregnant," plus the follow up of, "I can't tell you the results of your pregnancy test until you see the doctor."
"We do not order dinner trays for patients without a doctor's order."

"We can't order dinner trays for family members, but the cafeteria is still open."

"I cannot write a work excuse note for you. You must see the physician for that."

"I don't know how long the wait in the waiting room will be tonight."

"The ambulance does not give people a ride home."

"We don't have taxi cab vouchers any more." or "We are out of cab vouchers for this month."

"You can't wear the patient gown home."

"You can't take our blankets home with you."

"Please put our supplies back in the cabinet. They are not for patients to take home."

For the abdominal pain patient or potential surgical patient, "I can't give you anything to eat or drink until the doctor has seen you."

"I can't release medical information over the telephone."

"We don't have samples. You'll have to hit the 24 hour pharmacy on the way home."

As a correctional nurse:
"If you want to see the doctor, you must submit a request slip." (All doctor visits were charged $4 to the inmate account)

"If you want to see the doctor for your cold symptoms, you must still pay the $4 visit charge, even though we do your diabetes follow up for free."

"I can't give you medical supplies to take back to your cell."

"I can't tell the CO's to give you an extra mattress or an extra blanket."

"You can't have extra food on your meal tray."

"You can't get a late night snack if you are not diabetic."

"I can't give you narcotics without a doctor's order."

"I can't give you pills from a bottle that doesn't have your name on it." (If inmates came in with their own medications, we would give them if the patient's name was on the bottle and we could verify what was in the bottle)

"I can't give you pills from a bottle if I don't know what those pills actually are."

[Peppergirl]

1. "Yes, that flight has been cancelled."

2. "No, there's no other flights tonight to your destination."

2a. "Yes, I'm sure."
2b. "Yes, I've checked other airlines."
2c. "No, I'm not kidding"

3. "I'm sorry, that hotel seems to be sold out."

3a. "Yes. I'm sure."
3b. "No, there's no secret stash of unused rooms."

4. "No, wanting prices for a disney vacation 6 months from now does NOT constitute emergency/urgent travel."

5. "Yes, you need a Visa to enter (insert country here)"

6. "No, the booking site is NOT capable of misspelling your name. It only spells what you've entered as your name."

6a "No, the site is NOT capable of getting your child's date of birth wrong. It enters what you have inputted as the date."


More later. I like this one.

[Syriilord]

Here's one I predict having to use in future:

I charge a diagnostic fee which must be payed in advance before I will look at your computer.

[AccountingDrone]

*The day after writing this* Congratulations Ms. Drone: You're 3 weeks pregnant

LOL they removed the uterus at the same time, so that would be an interesting trick

[actually while he was in there he ran the length of my intestines so I wont need a colonoscopy for a couple years, popped a few adhesions from previous operations and removed a bunch of endometriosis placques. Internally I hadn't felt so good in decades.]

[Gizmo]

"These charges are valid".

[Kristev]

I lost my job in part because someone said I said the 'F' word at them.

Then, of course, there's always the word "No."

[foxytales]

That claim is being processed.
No, it hasn't completed yet.
Yes, I understand the date of service was three months ago, but we just got the claim itself, three DAYS ago. Please allow 20-30 BUSINESS days (this does not include saturday, sunday or ANY holiday)

I'm sorry, you may not bill the patient. They required a referral and there isn't one one file.
No, we cannot backdate referrals and we need to have one on file within 72 hours from the date of service.

No, we do not cover travel vaccines (any disease NOT FOUND within the US--think yellow fever, etc)
No, not even for business travel. Perhaps your employer covers those internally?

I'm sorry, this member isn't covered for any dental services under their MEDICAL insurance policy, except for accidental injury requiring surgery.
Yes, this includes the removal of impacted wisdom teeth.
Yes, that means the anesthesia, too.

We paid this claim on June 12--the check cashed on June 15.
Yes, really. It was direct deposited into the doctor's bank.
I don't have a copy of the cancelled check--this was an EFT payment--there WAS no check.
You may check deposits with the doctor's bank.

I get these all day, everyday...these are the kinder ones....