This is from ages ago, when I worked at a department store. I was about seventeen and it was my first real job, so I was really naive and super eager to please. I know, I must have been downright precious to the veterans. 
Anyway, it was around Thanksgiving, so the holidays were entering full-swing. I worked in several areas of the store, but my main focus was housewares. I'd been there a few months, by this point, so I was well-versed in our stock, and could generally find things for folks fairly quickly. I was also pretty good at helping people pick out exactly what they wanted, even if they just had a vague idea. That's not tooting my own horn, but important to the story.
So, this gentlemen comes in. He's probably early forties, and clearly out of his element. He looks totally clueless, but you could tell he had a definite purpose in being in this particular department. I plastered on my sweetest smile and hurried over to rescue him. Quotes are as best as I can remember, but pretty darn close.
Me: "Hi, what can I help you with?"
SC: "My wife wants a gravy boat. She said she saw it here."
Me: "Okay, we have quite a few gravy boats. Did she say what brand it was?"
SC: "No...she showed me the box last time we were here. I'll know it when I see it. Can you just show me all the boxes?"
Me: (thinking: sure, let's just go on a little tour of the department...and we're walking...we're walking) "Yes, sir. Let's see if we can find it."
So, for about half an hour, I showed him every single box in the store. With each box, he got more and more irritated because that wasn't it. How could it be this difficult? Was I stupid? Why couldn't I find the one his wife wanted? It's in this store! She showed it to him in this store! Holy mackeral, I must be an idiot to not be able to find one lousy gravy boat...
Finally, I'd had enough. We'd been through every gravy boat in the department, and I was sick of the condescension. I kept my smile thoughout, but I was done.
Me: "Are you sure your wife saw it here?"
SC: "Yes, I'm sure! I was with her! She showed it to me! It was in this...why does your nametag say [Store A]?"
Me: "This is [Store A]."
SC: (Not listening) "Where the hell am I?!"
Me: "[Store A]. This is [Store A]."
SC: "No, it's not! It's [Store B]!"
Me: "No, sir. I promise you, this is [Store A]."
SC: "Ah, hell! I thought this was [Store B]! She saw it in [Store B]! Now I gotta go all the way there to..."(warglebargle as he heads out the door)
Buh-Bye!
By the way, Store B looks absolutely nothing like Store A. Different layouts, different color schemes, and on different ends of the mall. Also, how do you miss the five-foot tall letters over the door and all the signage? Oh, that's right! SC's don't read. Silly me.

Anyway, it was around Thanksgiving, so the holidays were entering full-swing. I worked in several areas of the store, but my main focus was housewares. I'd been there a few months, by this point, so I was well-versed in our stock, and could generally find things for folks fairly quickly. I was also pretty good at helping people pick out exactly what they wanted, even if they just had a vague idea. That's not tooting my own horn, but important to the story.
So, this gentlemen comes in. He's probably early forties, and clearly out of his element. He looks totally clueless, but you could tell he had a definite purpose in being in this particular department. I plastered on my sweetest smile and hurried over to rescue him. Quotes are as best as I can remember, but pretty darn close.
Me: "Hi, what can I help you with?"
SC: "My wife wants a gravy boat. She said she saw it here."
Me: "Okay, we have quite a few gravy boats. Did she say what brand it was?"
SC: "No...she showed me the box last time we were here. I'll know it when I see it. Can you just show me all the boxes?"
Me: (thinking: sure, let's just go on a little tour of the department...and we're walking...we're walking) "Yes, sir. Let's see if we can find it."
So, for about half an hour, I showed him every single box in the store. With each box, he got more and more irritated because that wasn't it. How could it be this difficult? Was I stupid? Why couldn't I find the one his wife wanted? It's in this store! She showed it to him in this store! Holy mackeral, I must be an idiot to not be able to find one lousy gravy boat...
Finally, I'd had enough. We'd been through every gravy boat in the department, and I was sick of the condescension. I kept my smile thoughout, but I was done.
Me: "Are you sure your wife saw it here?"
SC: "Yes, I'm sure! I was with her! She showed it to me! It was in this...why does your nametag say [Store A]?"
Me: "This is [Store A]."
SC: (Not listening) "Where the hell am I?!"
Me: "[Store A]. This is [Store A]."
SC: "No, it's not! It's [Store B]!"
Me: "No, sir. I promise you, this is [Store A]."
SC: "Ah, hell! I thought this was [Store B]! She saw it in [Store B]! Now I gotta go all the way there to..."(warglebargle as he heads out the door)
Buh-Bye! By the way, Store B looks absolutely nothing like Store A. Different layouts, different color schemes, and on different ends of the mall. Also, how do you miss the five-foot tall letters over the door and all the signage? Oh, that's right! SC's don't read. Silly me.


to
where the customers never stop sucking. You'll need this >


Comment