Shipping options are as stated!

[mhkohne]

I occasionally sell stuff on Ebay. I've got a gumball machine up right now that includes a stand, and since it's rather large, I've marked it 'local pickup only'.

Today I got an Ebay question that's sucky in it's attitude - 'how much for standard shipping to blah, blah'. Not 'hey, would you mind changing your plan', oh no. Just an assumption that I'd actually be happy to go through all the trouble of boxing the bloody thing up just for him/her/it. As if I hadn't carefully considered the possibility that being willing to ship would open up my item to more buyers at the expense of me having to do a bunch of work to ship the bloody thing.

Annoyed the heck out of me, it did.

This was my reply:
---
$500.00. Yep, five-zero-zero dollars. 5 big ones. Five lovely c-notes.

Yes, I'm serious - if you win the auction and insist on the item being shipped, it's gonna cost you half a thousand dollars.

Yes, that's way too much to possibly be worth your time, but since I pretty clearly marked the auction 'local pickup only', I feel quite justified in quoting you an absurd handling fee for the trouble of dealing with you asking me to do something I've already said I don't want to do (that is, ship this thing). No offense, but why the heck do so many people take 'local pickup only' to mean 'e-mail for shipping quote'. If I wanted folks to e-mail for shipping quote, I'd say that.

Given that my shipping charge alone would cost you more than buying two or three of these brand new, I'm going to suggest you not bid, unless you plan to be in the area in the near future.

Thanks!
---
We'll see if I hear anything more.

[Moosenogger]

I would have just said "$500" and waited to see if they actually replied. Friggin' idiots.

[MoonCat]

I've seen lots of things on eBay that say "local pickup only" and I always think, "well, no sense bidding on that one" and move on. Guess some people just don't read. Or understand what they read. Or think they're special.

Yep, my money's on that last one.

[Onlooker]

You never know, they could be one of GK's customers from the far north...

[ShadowBall]

I did similar things when some assbag wanted me to mark a toy I was selling as "Buy It Now" because they wanted to buy it for their extra-special child who apparently deserved it more than anyone else. Even though I said right in the auction I don't list any of my items with a Buy It Now option because I want everyone to have a fair shot at getting it (translation: I want to see how much it will sell for with bids since I'm bad at naming normal prices).

The toy was worth probably less than $10 and I set the Buy It Now price for $50. I guess this person's child wasn't worth that much because they never bought it. I think they still won the thing and just didn't leave me any feedback.

I guarantee you anything the special little assholes who insist on shipping for local pickup items or international shipping when people only sell within the US are also the ones who will go to retail stores and attempt to haggle on corporate-set prices. Why? They feel they deserve things they like, damned be anyone else's rules.

[mhkohne]

Oh, I got another one. This time, someone wants me to end the auction early and sell it to them, at my opening bid price.

Dear mhkohne,

Hello,
I am very interested in these books. Would you consider selling
them to me for the $5 asking price, and I can just purchase now ? I am in
Canada, but my sister lives in Baton Rouge, LA - so I can have them shipped
to her. Please let me know - my daughter has the first and second book
already, and absolutely loves them. I would love to get these for her, for
Christmas. I will buy them now at the asking price. thank you. <Name removed>

<user id removed>


My reply (sadly, my snark-o-matic is off-line tonight)

No, I will not. You are welcome to bid at the $5, and you'll probably win - I set that price with full knowledge that $5 may be all it brings, but I'm not going to end the auction early, as that would be unfair to the other people who may want these. If I were you, and I wanted them for the $5, I'd bid now - I'm gonna bet that no one will top your bid.


I was tempted to post it on the listing as well (you can check a box when replying to have the q&a show up in the listing), but decided not to since the questioner used their name in the message.


I don't think I've had two entitlement issues on EBay in the last 13 years, and now I've got two in one week. What IS it with people?

And when the <BLEEP> did Ebay get to be around this long? I've been selling there since 97, and to type that last line I had to work out how many years I'd been selling. How the heck did 13 years go by?

[Andara Bledin]

One of my co-workers asked me to place a bid on an item for the company to resell this morning.

The item was listed in Europe with shipping to North America (among other places) prohibited. I let him know that without contacting the seller first, there was a good probability he wouldn't be able to buy it. I wasn't particularly surprised when the snipe program we use came back with an error.

As much as it would have been good that we could have won the item, it's better that he get smacked down for this sort of shenanigan now and he learn to be a more considerate bidder.

^-.-^

[mhkohne]

Good GRAVY, are they all stupid? With only 4 hours left to go on my gumball machine, I wake up to find this ebay message, from the guy who's presently winning the auction:

-----
Dear mhkohne,

If we are the winning bidder, I would like to make arrangements
with you
to ship this unit.


I do not need the machine stand. So, I just need
you to take the machines off the stand, and ship me the machines.

I will
pay you, and then you can call my UPS Store
here in Frisco, TX and he will
give you a shipping label
at my cost to ship the 2 machines.

Dip Stick
XXX-XXX-XXXX

Let me know if this works for you.

You can keep the
stand and re-sell it or throw
it in the trash.


Thanks! Dip Stick's partner
YYY-YYY-YYYY

-DipStickCompany
-----

WHAT THE HELL! That's twice ON THE SAME AUCTION that I've got people assuming that I'd be perfectly happy to ship the item even though I said local pickup only.

I'm not replying yet because the auction still has 4 hours to run, and I figure these bozos might not win anyway. If they don't, then the problem goes away, if they do, they'll have to back out of their bid (or I'll punt them? I'll have to figure that out) and I'll give the next guy on the list a chance at it.

WHY WON'T THEY READ! WHY????

I don't even do this as a business - I'm just selling my old stuff off. Is there something about the vending business that eats into their brains? Is there something about the vending business that selects for knuckleheads? I don't get it, why did I get 2 on this one thing? At least the first one e-mailed BEFORE he bid. These guys waited till almost the end!

Thanks for letting me vent. I'll post my reply to them after the auction is over and I've had time to write it. I'm thing I'll go with a Dr. Seuss theme: No, I will not take to a store, No I will not take it to the shore...

[Andara Bledin]

I have a suggestion for you, actually. It's too late for this auction, but might be worth noting should you have a bulky item in the future.

The place I work for used to regularly win auctions in places where we were not located, that required that the items be picked up, packed, and shipped to us.

Give your prospective buyer the numbers for the local packing stores. The UPS Store, Packaging Store, etc, will often have an option for just that.

If they really want it, they'll pay for that service.

^-.-^

[Mictor Veldrew]

Be very careful with setting an unrealistic and massively inflated shipping price to try to put the dork off buying it.

The window licker may just try to win it so they can complain to ebay about the unreasonable shipping charges and you could get a black mark against your account. Don't assume that a human at ebay would actually read his complaint and take it in the spirit it was meant. The 'unattended electronic nerve centre' (i.e. sinclair ZX80) at ebay would just see 'Complaint' & 'shipping charge $500' and automatically take the side of the window licker.

Mictor Veldrew.

[mhkohne]

I might do that. It would save trouble if I had shipping quotes (even high ones) posted. Then they'd have no excuse for messaging me.

Here's the reply I sent to the bidder after the auction ended. I assume he'll want out, but I figure I have to give him the chance:

----
Sigh. And my opinion of the average american drops another notch. Why, pray tell, did you not perhaps ASK about shipping before bidding, instead of after you'd already bid? You did win the auction, and you could have saved us both some time and effort by simply reading the auction and obeying the rules I set.

Do you know you're the SECOND person who made the assumption that I'd give them a shipping quote? At least the first guy (rude as he was to assume I'd do something I said I wouldn't do) was polite enough to send a message BEFORE bidding.

I will not ship this item. That's why I sold it as 'local pickup only'. I will not put it in a truck, I will not drag it through the muck. I will not take it to a store, I will not take it to the shore.

I will not, shall not, will not ship this item!

If I wanted to ship this thing, I'd have figured out packaging and shipping costs up front and put them on the auction so as to maximize my potential bidders.

Now, if you can make arrangements for local pickup and payment in cash, we're good to go. If not, then let me know and I'll cancel the transaction and offer it to the next bidder. Perhaps he read the auction and is a local.

-----
I'm SO glad I don't do this for a living. The ability to tell these people when they are wrong is invaluable for keeping one's sanity.

[gremcint]

I will not ship this item. That's why I sold it as 'local pickup only'. I will not put it in a truck, I will not drag it through the muck. I will not take it to a store, I will not take it to the shore.

I will not, shall not, will not ship this item!

Damn you went Dr. Seuss on his ass.

[mhkohne]

Damn you went Dr. Seuss on his ass.

I feel the need to make it at least a little funny to take the sting out of 'dude, read the auction'!

He decided that yes, we should cancel the sale. We'll see if any of the lower bidders want it.

[Dave1982]

And when the <BLEEP> did Ebay get to be around this long? I've been selling there since 97, and to type that last line I had to work out how many years I'd been selling. How the heck did 13 years go by?

If it makes you feel any better, I recently got an email from eBay congratulating me on my "10 year anniversary." I hadn't realized I'd been a member that long!

[Andara Bledin]

I might do that. It would save trouble if I had shipping quotes (even high ones) posted. Then they'd have no excuse for messaging me.

My boss is watching a car auction, and I noticed at the bottom that there were listings of companies that would pick up and ship the vehicle with quotes and that the seller was only selling and releasing and would have nothing to do with the actual shipment of the car. Perhaps there is an option for non-motors items in the same vein. That way, you show that if someone not local wants it, they have options, but that you won't have anything to do with making those arrangements.

^-.-^