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Letter Of Apology
GREETINGS my fellow customer service slave jockeys. I have not been here in years, but I thought I would rejoin(again) in order to present my latest golden gem of literary humour. I hope you enjoy but first, let's set the scene~
This Weekend I spoke to a customer who was given some misinformation on how to change their name on their account after getting married. I understand that going into a store and being told you were given the wrong information, especially if you had to take two buses, and yes I can understand being upset..but when you are given the correct information, REFUSE to walk the thirty feet back to the store to fax in the documentation you have..in your hand... and then demand a letter of apology from not just the company(which we can give) but also the executive office and more.. it can get a little excessive.
However, in order to humour and placate the customer, I readily agree to provide and fulfill what request I can..but no..I can't just perform the request against policy because you're angry, you would have had to go to where you are anyway to have the form sent in. Flying off the handle and asking for a letter of apology(seriously, who does that now a days, everyone knows its a joke), I can understand that, but when you speak condescendingly to me, ask me a question and then interrupt me when I try to answer said question by saying "YOU don't interrupt a customer..you know better than THAT!" Yeah, here's your letter of apology.
Since we didn't have a letter of apology that fit his situation (a rep making an HONEST mistake) I have taken the liberty to custom tailor a letter of apology for the customer. Aren't I nice?
Please note, this is all in fun and intended for you to get a chuckle. No I did not send this to the customer(though I will probably show it to my team leader because honestly, she needs a laugh).
To our dear valued customer,
We would first like to express our deep concern and regret upon hearing of the elongated foreign object that has been permanently and uncomfortably lodged into your backside. It is with the utmost humility on our part that we would also like to apologize for employing human beings capable of making mistakes with regards to misinforming customers, as our current technological advances of society prohibit us from utilizing emotionless robots capable of a 0% margin of error at this time.
We understand that the difficulty which was required to gather yourself off your livingroom couch on a Saturday and travel to your local mall in order to prove to us that you have been sly enough to convince another social reject of the opposite sex to take your last name is a grevious and and intensive process and thank you for your efforts.
Please be advised that the representative responsible for providing you with incorrect information in regards to our 'Name Change' policy has been severely flogged for their grievious miscommunication.
Furthermore we would like to add that the representatives in our center are also being instructed to follow your flawless example towards all things in life, as we are certain you have never made any such careless or innocent mistakes in your entire existance.
Wishing you, your new wife, and future socially defunct offspring a very prospitable and happy future.
Sincerely,
Someone Who Gives A Fuck.
This Weekend I spoke to a customer who was given some misinformation on how to change their name on their account after getting married. I understand that going into a store and being told you were given the wrong information, especially if you had to take two buses, and yes I can understand being upset..but when you are given the correct information, REFUSE to walk the thirty feet back to the store to fax in the documentation you have..in your hand... and then demand a letter of apology from not just the company(which we can give) but also the executive office and more.. it can get a little excessive.
However, in order to humour and placate the customer, I readily agree to provide and fulfill what request I can..but no..I can't just perform the request against policy because you're angry, you would have had to go to where you are anyway to have the form sent in. Flying off the handle and asking for a letter of apology(seriously, who does that now a days, everyone knows its a joke), I can understand that, but when you speak condescendingly to me, ask me a question and then interrupt me when I try to answer said question by saying "YOU don't interrupt a customer..you know better than THAT!" Yeah, here's your letter of apology.
Since we didn't have a letter of apology that fit his situation (a rep making an HONEST mistake) I have taken the liberty to custom tailor a letter of apology for the customer. Aren't I nice?
Please note, this is all in fun and intended for you to get a chuckle. No I did not send this to the customer(though I will probably show it to my team leader because honestly, she needs a laugh).
To our dear valued customer,
We would first like to express our deep concern and regret upon hearing of the elongated foreign object that has been permanently and uncomfortably lodged into your backside. It is with the utmost humility on our part that we would also like to apologize for employing human beings capable of making mistakes with regards to misinforming customers, as our current technological advances of society prohibit us from utilizing emotionless robots capable of a 0% margin of error at this time.
We understand that the difficulty which was required to gather yourself off your livingroom couch on a Saturday and travel to your local mall in order to prove to us that you have been sly enough to convince another social reject of the opposite sex to take your last name is a grevious and and intensive process and thank you for your efforts.
Please be advised that the representative responsible for providing you with incorrect information in regards to our 'Name Change' policy has been severely flogged for their grievious miscommunication.
Furthermore we would like to add that the representatives in our center are also being instructed to follow your flawless example towards all things in life, as we are certain you have never made any such careless or innocent mistakes in your entire existance.
Wishing you, your new wife, and future socially defunct offspring a very prospitable and happy future.
Sincerely,
Someone Who Gives A Fuck.
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