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  • Amazon Fail Jamboree

    Been trying to reduce our DVD and book library, and scare up some cash for Christmas at the same time. Which means, Amazon time! And lo, I'd forgotten about some of the massive fail involved.


    CC Fail #1

    Hello. Yes, I see you want that Blair Witch Project DVD set. Mmmm, please don't use that fake credit card number. Ok. Fine. Try it. Yep, now it's flagged.

    Its not THAT perfect

    Okay dude, I shipped your book to Alaska. You emailed me thanking me, posted a feedback saying its perfect, and in better shape than you could've expected, shipped to you faster than you thought....and gave me four stars. WTF.

    Herp Derp

    Potential Cust.: Hi, is this the special edition of the DVD?
    Me: No, sorry. I only have the normal copy.
    PC: Ok, do you have the special edition in the back or something?
    Me: <blinks>
    Me: Sorry, no. I am just offloading some of my DVD library extras, and as I said, I don't have the SE. I'm not a store, just someone condensing a collection!
    PC: Okay, but can you just check real quick?
    Me: .....

    CC Fail #2

    Oh look a sale! Wait. Waitaminute, you didn't even wait a day before trying ANOTHER fake CC?....

    Thanks for the Heads Up

    PC #2: Hey, do you have a burned copy of this CD you could sell me for like a buck?
    Me: Sorry, I cannot do that.
    PC #2: Aw man, I don't want to buy it. <cue long email story of various pirating shenanigans>
    PC #2: You know, maybe I'll just buy it off you, copy it, and return it for a refund. You can sell it again, and I'll just be out the return shipping!
    Me: <forwards his email to Amazon> Yeah, no.

    CC Fail #3 & #4

    This is just about pitiful now. Two days, and you've tried four times. How has this not gotten through your head yet?

    Thank You For Being A Ray of Hope

    Had an actual return customer on Amazon! For small, barely-list-anything people like me, that's a big shock. On top of that, she bought an item that I'll admit, was much more pricier than the other listings. It was for one of the out of print original Sailor Moon novels, and was in mint condition. I listed mine for about $50, and then some big-storefront company undercut me by about $30.

    Granted, I personally know that a lot of those guys don't REALLY have the book, they just find a copy online that they can purchase, and list for enough of a profit margin to make it worth it. Then, when a purchase rolls through, they buy the other, ship, and voila, they didn't even have to waste storage space. But, not a lot of people know about that.

    However, this woman went looking through my storefront, and saw that novel. She did note that mine was the more expensive, but she bought it anyways. I actually emailed her, asking if she did it on purpose, and she said she did. Why? Because the last item she purchased from me, I accidentally was a day late in shipping it out, so I upgraded it to priority mail. Just because of that, and my "excellent customer service".

    I told her to definitely let me know if she wanted anything else, and I'd hook her up next time around.

    Warms my heart that on occasion, people are still good people. ^^
    By popular request....I am now officially the Enemy of Normalcy.

    "What is unobtainium? To Seraph, it's a normal client. :P" -- Observant Friend

  • #2
    I always enjoy your stories Seraph. Thanks

    Comment


    • #3
      It's good to know there's people like that left even on the internet!

      Comment


      • #4
        Quoth Seraph View Post
        Herp Derp

        Potential Cust.: Hi, is this the special edition of the DVD?
        Me: No, sorry. I only have the normal copy.
        PC: Ok, do you have the special edition in the back or something?
        Me: <blinks>
        Me: Sorry, no. I am just offloading some of my DVD library extras, and as I said, I don't have the SE. I'm not a store, just someone condensing a collection!
        PC: Okay, but can you just check real quick?
        Me: .....
        This made me think of two replies:
        1. I went out the back but the dog doesn't wish to sell his SE version of DVD.
        2. I went out the back to the DVD tree and a special edition was just about ripe.

        Comment


        • #5
          Herp Derp

          Potential Cust.: Hi, is this the special edition of the DVD?
          Me: No, sorry. I only have the normal copy.
          PC: Ok, do you have the special edition in the back or something?
          Me: <blinks>
          Me: Sorry, no. I am just offloading some of my DVD library extras, and as I said, I don't have the SE. I'm not a store, just someone condensing a collection!
          PC: Okay, but can you just check real quick?
          Me: .....
          Checks the back bedroom: Nope, still not there.

          Thanks for the Heads Up

          PC #2: Hey, do you have a burned copy of this CD you could sell me for like a buck?
          Me: Sorry, I cannot do that.
          PC #2: Aw man, I don't want to buy it. <cue long email story of various pirating shenanigans>
          PC #2: You know, maybe I'll just buy it off you, copy it, and return it for a refund. You can sell it again, and I'll just be out the return shipping!
          Me: <forwards his email to Amazon> Yeah, no.
          You know, it's just a hunch, but something tells me this guy is not cut out to be a pirate.
          When you start at zero, everything's progress.

          Comment


          • #6
            Quoth MoonCat View Post
            Checks the back bedroom: Nope, still not there.



            You know, it's just a hunch, but something tells me this guy is not cut out to be a pirate.
            He probably doesn't have the patch or the parrot....


            Ah the mythical back....

            Comment


            • #7
              Quoth barainga View Post
              I always enjoy your stories Seraph. Thanks


              Quoth TopEndDave View Post
              This made me think of two replies:
              1. I went out the back but the dog doesn't wish to sell his SE version of DVD.
              2. I went out the back to the DVD tree and a special edition was just about ripe.
              ...Will definitely have to remember that if they come back.
              By popular request....I am now officially the Enemy of Normalcy.

              "What is unobtainium? To Seraph, it's a normal client. :P" -- Observant Friend

              Comment


              • #8
                Quoth Seraph View Post
                CC Fail #3 & #4

                This is just about pitiful now. Two days, and you've tried four times. How has this not gotten through your head yet?
                Well, you can't blame a guy for trying...what you can do, though, is throw his sorry ass in jail and let him create some meaningful relationships with his new roomies who are in there for something a little more up-front, like, say, ARMED robbery.
                "I was only LOOKING, I didn't mean to enter my card's CVV and actually ORDER! REFUND ME RIGHT NOW!!"

                Comment


                • #9
                  Quoth Seraph View Post
                  Thanks for the Heads Up

                  PC #2: Hey, do you have a burned copy of this CD you could sell me for like a buck?
                  Me: Sorry, I cannot do that.
                  PC #2: Aw man, I don't want to buy it. <cue long email story of various pirating shenanigans>
                  PC #2: You know, maybe I'll just buy it off you, copy it, and return it for a refund. You can sell it again, and I'll just be out the return shipping!
                  Me: <forwards his email to Amazon> Yeah, no.
                  My response?
                  "Arrr you kidding me?"
                  Telling a cop, "My taxes pay your salary!" is dumb.
                  Telling a cop you demand your shit without paying taxes is even more dumb.
                  -Automan Empire

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Quoth TopEndDave View Post
                    This made me think of two replies:
                    1. I went out the back but the dog doesn't wish to sell his SE version of DVD.
                    2. I went out the back to the DVD tree and a special edition was just about ripe.
                    Almost broke rule 1 there

                    Seraph . . . how do you tell if the CC number is fake? I've sold through Amazon, and never had an issue.
                    They say that God only gives us what we can handle. Apparently, God thinks I'm a bad ass.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Quoth Panacea View Post
                      Almost broke rule 1 there

                      Seraph . . . how do you tell if the CC number is fake? I've sold through Amazon, and never had an issue.
                      Amazon sent me a rather interesting email titled "DO NOT SHIP!" Several of them, in fact, lol. From what I could find, those only happen when a) card is fake, b) card info is flagged or fraud, or c) some other seriously sketchy stuff is going on. But, knowing a few forum threads I monitored recently on a "how to cheat stuff" website, fake CCs were being talked about with a generator program.

                      Disclaimer: I was monitoring it because those people there tend to try and fake through my checkout process, and a couple tried it just this week. -.-

                      Second Disclaimer: I forwarded the forum thread to the FBI, so they can have fun busting them for fraud ^^
                      By popular request....I am now officially the Enemy of Normalcy.

                      "What is unobtainium? To Seraph, it's a normal client. :P" -- Observant Friend

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        *snrk*

                        I imagine those forum threads (and likely the forum they're running on) are going to be disappearing sometime in the very near future.

                        ^-.-^
                        Faith is about what you do. It's about aspiring to be better and nobler and kinder than you are. It's about making sacrifices for the good of others. - Dresden

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Quoth Andara Bledin View Post
                          *snrk*

                          I imagine those forum threads (and likely the forum they're running on) are going to be disappearing sometime in the very near future.

                          ^-.-^
                          They'll just reappear somewhere else
                          They say that God only gives us what we can handle. Apparently, God thinks I'm a bad ass.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            I've never sold on Amazon, just half.com and ebay, so I stick with PayPal. How do you handle payment on Amazon?


                            I've gotten a little tired of the assumption of some buyers that everyone selling stuff is a store. It's true, I may list several dozen books at a time (clean out boxes in the garage), but my rating score is still a bit below a thousand, and that's sales and purchases. I've been on there long enough to remember when most of the sellers were individuals and people still accepted checks. You know, back when most of the users were still evolving opposable thumbs and hiding from dinosaurs.
                            Last edited by wagegoth; 11-26-2011, 04:48 AM.
                            Labor boards have info on local laws for free
                            HR believes the first person in the door
                            Learn how to go over whackamole bosses' heads safely
                            Document everything
                            CS proves Dunning-Kruger effect

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              I'm also doing a little cleaning and selling for a holiday budget and I've gotten a few snowflakes on eBay...not as bad as the ones you've described, but still made me roll my eyes.

                              Such as:

                              - guy who told me he would buy my box of 200 Pokemon cards for $15 (shipping included in that). That's what my price for it was in the auction, but he refused to bid (and I don't do Buy It Now auctions). I swear something is wrong with these cards...this is the third time I've tried to sell them, they always get a ton of watchers, and either someone makes a half-assed attempt to buy them or they do buy them and don't pay.

                              - someone who complained that they didn't like the swag they got with their item.

                              - person who somehow "sent payment" even though I only accept PayPal and the payment magically didn't show up in my transaction list. Maybe they use an eBay credit card...not sure.

                              I almost with there was an intelligence test people had to take before being able to get online.

                              Comment

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