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Truth is a precious commodity around here....

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  • Truth is a precious commodity around here....

    Try Harder, please

    The arrival of winter is tough on everyone, squirrels, water mains, exposed toes, road crews, and yes, even liars. So, please, work a little harder at lying, because when there's a 1/16th of an inch of ice-cold frost on all the windows of your car, and the hood, and the muffler, it's going to be a hard sell to tell me you were only parked for 2 minutes.........

    Harder, please!

    -This is Argabarga, Friendly Neighborhood Towing, I believe someone at this number just called looking for a Red Nissan from Oakley Apartments?
    -Yes, that's me, and, you illegally towed me from space G8, that's MY space, so we have a problem!
    -Actually, we towed you from a marked "no parking" area, in fact, the rear tires of your car were directly straddling the world "NO" (I even took a picture with my phone because it amused me so)
    -Oh, uh..... well, I'll be in to get it later


    Harder Ple.... oh forget it, I give up

    -This is Argabarga, Friendly Neighborhood Towing, I believe someone at this number just called looking for a Black Ford Focus from 400 Church st?
    Yes! And I don't know why you towed me, I HAVE SPECIAL PERMISSION TO PARK -THERE!
    -Well sir, the lot is owned by Global-Domination Reality, and the only cars allowed to park there are ones with valid Global-Domination Reality permits.

    *protracted silence*

    *protracted silence*

    *protracted silence*

    Guess he isn't taking the bait, I was so hoping he would.... now for the doozy I was holding in reserve

    -And, the fake permit in your car doesn't count.
    -Fine, when can I pick it up?!

    Protip: "Special Permission" doesn't count when you just summarily give it to yourself. And the fake was laughably bad, they scanned in a permit, printed it in black and white, and then tried to give it the right color with an orange hi-light pen, since real ones are that delightful "don't shoot me I'm not a deer" orange you see on road cones and hunting caps. Only they got bored halfway through the coloring and just STOPPED....


    SRSLY?

    You called us and said your car needed a tow from the street to your house the next borough over. We went out to your car, only to find that it's got a boot on the wheel, courtesy of the police department for all those unpaid parking tickets, and according to the "DO NOT REMOVE UNDER PENALTY OF ARREST AND POSSIBLE CHINESE WATER TORTURE" notice taped to the window, it's been that way for 4 whole days... You really didn't think we'd notice, or that if we did, we'd just ignore it? Sorry, my going rate for complacency in a felony is way more than the $50 that tow was worth. Well, he was at least telling the truth, kinda, he DID need a tow, there was certainly no way he'd be able to DRIVE away from that.... maybe he'll learn.
    - They say nothing good happens at 2AM, they're right, I happen at 2AM.

  • #2
    Yay more Argabarga stories!

    As for the "deer hunter" permit, I believe you CAN buy bright orange paper out there if you want your preshus permit so bad. Talk about epic fail
    The best professors are mad scientists! -Zoom

    Now queen of USSR-Land...

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    • #3
      bwehehehe. The schadenfreude is kicking in hard here. Not on you, but them. The audacity is funny.
      Last edited by ackmeow; 12-02-2011, 03:56 PM.
      Go for the eyes!

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      • #4
        I'm just curious.. when you started this job, did a coworker or manager give you a breakdown of some of the shenanigans you'd be dealing with? Did they give you training on how to deal with people who mistakenly believe or think they know better than you?

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        • #5
          Nothing special beyond a mention in passing that you'd have to deal with some "difficult" people, but, I came here with an employment history that included working with the police department, I'm no stranger to having to having to make people do things they'd rather not, politely of course.
          - They say nothing good happens at 2AM, they're right, I happen at 2AM.

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          • #6
            Ive heard some mean stories about car towing. Apparantly people are very protective of their car. To be honest Im farily fond of mine as well. But I also have the good sense to not park where Im not supposed to.

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            • #7
              I kinda wish you could have been here -- a mere 1200 miles away or so, not far ^_^ for the car I saw parked out in front of the grocery store in the fire lane with his emergency blinkers on (as if that makes a difference on an empty car), or the dude who pulled up behind him to do the same thing...
              "For a musician, the SNES sound engine is like using Crayola Crayons. Nobuo Uematsu used Crayola Crayons to paint the Sistine Chapel." - Jeremy Jahns (re: "Dancing Mad")
              "The difference between an amateur and a master is that the master has failed way more times." - JoCat
              "Thinking is difficult, therefore let the herd pronounce judgment!" ~ Carl Jung
              "There's burning bridges, and then there's the lake just to fill it with gasoline." - Wiccy, reddit
              "Retail is a cruel master, and could very well be the most educational time of many people's lives, in its own twisted way." - me
              "Love keeps her in the air when she oughta fall down...tell you she's hurtin' 'fore she keens...makes her a home." - Capt. Malcolm Reynolds, "Serenity" (2005)
              Acts of Gord – Read it, Learn it, Love it!
              "Our psychic powers only work if the customer has a mind to read." - me

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              • #8
                Do people in your town ever write huffy letters to the paper complaining about being towed? They do that here all the time...usually stating that they "didn't see the sign" or that they DID see the sign, but there "was nowhere else to park!!!" (translation: they didn't want to pay to park in an actual lot). They usually get laughed at on the paper's website by the readers who post comments...
                When you start at zero, everything's progress.

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                • #9
                  It amazes me how such entitlement becomes apparent when dealing with people and their cars. The world is their parking lot and if you follow the laws they deem optional, they start tossing around a lot of words like "illegal" and "lawsuit" - since, you know, special iddle them can do whatever they want goddammit.

                  And some people just never learn either - the ones who will get fined or arrested for the same fucking offense on a regular basis in some misguided attempt to try and "stick it to the man." It's like those women who keep having babies and get them all taken immediately after birth because they think if they keep it up, Social Services or CPS or whoever is bound to eventually let them get have their way just once. In short...the very definition of insanity. I shudder to think I share a species with people so thick.

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                  • #10
                    Quoth Argabarga View Post
                    [B] Well, he was at least telling the truth, kinda, he DID need a tow, there was certainly no way he'd be able to DRIVE away from that.... maybe he'll learn.
                    He needn't worry . . . he'll get one. It'll just be to the impound lot rather than home. Truth is, I'm surprised they left it there that long.

                    Wonder if we'll see him on an upcoming episode of Parking Wars?
                    They say that God only gives us what we can handle. Apparently, God thinks I'm a bad ass.

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                    • #11
                      Can you take your towing business to my local Walmart store where I work? Plenty of illegal parking on our red lanes to keep you guys rolling in business!!! Plus, I think the customers that park there need to be taught a lesson!

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                      • #12
                        Quoth ShadowBall View Post
                        It amazes me how such entitlement becomes apparent when dealing with people and their cars.
                        Doesn't amaze me.

                        I remember one man from my days in the Car Parking Office, who was most irate because there were a couple of houses in his street that had been converted into flats for students, and their cars were parked where he wanted to park his.

                        He shouted "I should have the right to park outside my own home!" conveniently ignoring the fact that he wanted to deny the students that same right.
                        Engaged to the sweet Mytical He is my Black Dragon (and yes, a good one) strong, protective, the guardian. I am his Silver Dragon, always by his side, shining for him, cherishing him.

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                        • #13
                          Quoth Marmalady View Post
                          Doesn't amaze me.

                          He shouted "I should have the right to park outside my own home!" conveniently ignoring the fact that he wanted to deny the students that same right.
                          Even better, are the ones who park in lots that *aren't* for their building...and then get upset when their vehicles get towed. I used to see that every day where I once worked. Our building had a tiny parking lot next door for tenants. Kids, who lived in the apartments on the other side of the lot, decided to park there constantly...instead of *their* building's lot across the street. It was amusing as hell to see the same cars getting towed every day
                          Aerodynamics are for people who can't build engines. --Enzo Ferrari

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                          • #14
                            We have people in our clearly marked "Staff" spaces all the time, sometimes they work at a nearby business ("I'm staff over there..."), other times they're just shopping nearby. My favourite excuse is "well no-one else was using it," to which I once managed to formulate the greatest reply and deliver it straight-faced which I present here for your replication:
                            "Can I have your address? Why? Well I'm tired; as there's no-one sleeping there at the moment I figured I could just use your bed."

                            Oh and yes, they moved.
                            This was one of those times where my mouth says "have a nice day" but my brain says "go step on a Lego". - RegisterAce
                            I can't make something magically appear to fulfill all your hopes and dreams. Believe me, if I could I'd be the first person I'd help. - Trixie

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