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Ernest? Is that you?

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  • #1

    Ernest? Is that you?

    I think I may have gotten a call from the ghost of Ernest Hemingway, or one of his descendants..or something. Except I think even the legendary drinker would have been able to at least speak. I would post the conversation, but that would imply that there was a conversation. Mostly just ...

    M - Me
    DG - Drunk Guy

    M - <Spiel>
    DG - <Unintelligible>
    M - I am sorry sir, can you repeat that.
    DG - <something> cab <something>
    M - Sir, this is not a cab company..
    DG - <something> drive <something>
    M - Sir..this is smurfsandponies.com* how can I help you.
    DG - <unintelligible>

    Rinse and repeat for a good 30 minutes.. the guy didn't sound fall down drunk..he sounded fell down and laying on the floor while on the phone drunk.

    Hey I am 'authorized' to do anything in my power to help a customer, but miracle cures for drunkenness is not within my power.

    To make it a bit more amusing, people were having to wait over 30 minutes (several hundred people calling in at once) listening to music and the occasional 'Thank you for calling Smurfsanponies.com*, an assistant will be with you <blah blah blah>" every minute or so.
    Last edited by Mytical; 12-09-2011, 08:53 PM.
    Engaged to the amazing Marmalady. She is my Silver Dragon, shining as bright as the sun. I her Black Dragon (though good honestly), dark as night..fierce and strong.
    Tags: None
  • #2


    When did you start getting GK's "customers"?
    Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read. -Groucho Marx

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    • #3
      No idea, but if this was one of his, he can have him back
      Engaged to the amazing Marmalady. She is my Silver Dragon, shining as bright as the sun. I her Black Dragon (though good honestly), dark as night..fierce and strong.

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      • #4
        ehehe ...When I saw the title I expected to read "Hey Vern!" somewhere...

        yea...so I'm going to go read a book..now...
        Now, if you smell the roses but it doesn't lift your spirits, you're either allergic to rose pollen or you need medical intervention. ~ Seshat

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        • #5
          *laughs* I actually half expected people to expect that Ernest. Know what I mean Vern?
          Engaged to the amazing Marmalady. She is my Silver Dragon, shining as bright as the sun. I her Black Dragon (though good honestly), dark as night..fierce and strong.

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          • #6
            Quoth Spork4pedro View Post
            ehehe ...When I saw the title I expected to read "Hey Vern!" somewhere...

            yea...so I'm going to go read a book..now...
            Actually, that's where my mind went, too.
            "They gave me a badge with my name on it. In case I forget who I am." Dr Who - Closing Time

            "I reject your reality and substitute my own." Adam Savage-Mythbusters

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            • #7
              Quoth Lovecats

              Actually, that's where my mind went, too.
              Same here too

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              • #8
                30 minutes?! Why not just hang up?

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                • #9
                  Me too! Ernest P. Worrell (sp?) was the character. If this thread were a movie it would be "The Ghost of Yokels past" or "Ernest gets drunk"

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                  • #10
                    Guilty as charged regarding Ernest (RIP, I believe...)

                    One of the ... odd ...things I remember about him was seeing him do Energy Company TV ads in the market down here, promoting Natural Gas as a safer/cheaper/cleaner alternative to heat pumps (it is, or was, cheaper here at the time), and also seeing him do almost the *exact same ad* Up North in places like Atlanta, only with the roles reversed -- lambasting Gas for its cost (which, iirc, is true for that region) and danger, while recommending clean, affordable heat pumps.

                    Dude was smarter than he looked...
                    Last edited by EricKei; 12-10-2011, 04:12 AM. Reason: heat pumps, not nukes (credit to t3h wiki)
                    "For a musician, the SNES sound engine is like using Crayola Crayons. Nobuo Uematsu used Crayola Crayons to paint the Sistine Chapel." - Jeremy Jahns (re: "Dancing Mad")
                    "The difference between an amateur and a master is that the master has failed way more times." - JoCat
                    "Thinking is difficult, therefore let the herd pronounce judgment!" ~ Carl Jung
                    "There's burning bridges, and then there's the lake just to fill it with gasoline." - Wiccy, reddit
                    "Retail is a cruel master, and could very well be the most educational time of many people's lives, in its own twisted way." - me
                    "Love keeps her in the air when she oughta fall down...tell you she's hurtin' 'fore she keens...makes her a home." - Capt. Malcolm Reynolds, "Serenity" (2005)
                    Acts of Gord – Read it, Learn it, Love it!
                    "Our psychic powers only work if the customer has a mind to read." - me

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                    • #11
                      Quoth EricKei View Post
                      Guilty as charged regarding Ernest (RIP, I believe...)

                      One of the ... odd ...things I remember about him was seeing him do Energy Company TV ads in the market down here, promoting Natural Gas as a safer/cheaper/cleaner alternative to nuke power (it is, or was, cheaper here at the time), and also seeing him do almost the *exact same ad* Up North in places like Atlanta, only with the roles reversed -- lambasting Gas for its cost (which, iirc, is true for that region) and danger, while recommending clean, affordable nuke power.

                      Dude was smarter than he looked...
                      Yup, Mr. Varney died in 2000. He was a brilliant man and a very very kind one too. Any kid who asked to meet Ernest got to do so and got to spend quality time with their favorite person.

                      http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jim_Varney

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                      • #12
                        Quoth Stryker One View Post
                        30 minutes?! Why not just hang up?
                        There are only certain things that, if they happen, allow us to disconnect. Cursing/yelling, or the customer failing to respond. Does not matter what the response, or if we can understand it..as long as it is a response of some kind. So..I could not hang up. Of course for all I know he could have been cursing, or trying to order a cabinet..then trying to give me his address. Even if it is cursing/yelling we have to say three times "Sir/Ma'm if you do not stop cursing/yelling I will disconnect." So there is that...same with silence (with the spiel slightly different of course)
                        Engaged to the amazing Marmalady. She is my Silver Dragon, shining as bright as the sun. I her Black Dragon (though good honestly), dark as night..fierce and strong.

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                        • #13
                          I thought of 'The Importance of Being Ernest'.
                          Seshat's self-help guide:
                          1. Would you rather be right, or get the result you want?
                          2. If you're consistently getting results you don't want, change what you do.
                          3. Deal with the situation you have now, however it occurred.
                          4. Accept the consequences of your decisions.

                          "All I want is a pretty girl, a decent meal, and the right to shoot lightning at fools." - Anders, Dragon Age.

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                          • #14
                            If you couldn't hang up, and you're not paid to tolerate that kind of abuse, what would the consequences be if you were to just leave the phone off the hook but have the headset or handset laying on the desk? If there are other calls in the queue or people trying to get through, couldn't you just tell her to call back when she's calmed down (which is wasting HER time, not yours), or put her on hold until the light stops blinking? From her end, she may not want to wait, so she would hang up. The good part of this is that you can say that she hung up on her own, but the bad part is that she may call back and get someone else who doesn't know her temper.

                            My buddy Gary worked at the same satellite call center as me and was notorious for throwing his headset on the desk when he got pissed, and the company still held on to him.

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                            • #15
                              As I work from home they wouldn't really know if I did that, unless they do a random listen in (which they do)..but if they found out..automatic termination. Do not pass go, do not collect $200. I don't think this one was upset, just flat out drunk. As for suggesting they call back, I can, but if they don't disconnect not much I can do about it. Then again..don't think the customer would have known if I disconnected them, they may have not known where they were, let alone anything else. *laughs*
                              Last edited by Mytical; 12-10-2011, 09:10 PM.
                              Engaged to the amazing Marmalady. She is my Silver Dragon, shining as bright as the sun. I her Black Dragon (though good honestly), dark as night..fierce and strong.

                              Comment

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