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  • Funny description of a complaint

    This is the note left by one of our agents in regards to a call he took from a customer.

    There are some black leather massage chairs out in the lobby that he tried out. He stated that when you sit down in them, there are some wrap around pads that grab your legs to hold you still, making it difficult to get out of the chair once the ride's started. A few minutes into the auto massage, he says a brown thing attached to the chair starts to move up towards your butthole and, with not insignificant force, tries to push its way up into you, attempting to reach parts that weren't meant by god to be disturbed.

    He only wished to leave his first name and number.


    Thank you to the author for making my day!
    Last edited by nuthing12; 12-14-2011, 06:37 PM.
    Part Angel Part Sadist

  • #2
    ...and that's a complaint and not a compliment?

    Comment


    • #3
      Ha ha. Sounds like wishful thinking on his part.

      Comment


      • #4
        Or the massage chairs are owned by aliens....
        "If your day is filled with firefighting, you need to start taking the matches away from the toddlers…” - HM

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        • #5
          Typical stupid man, trying a chair that was obviously designed to be used by a woman.

          He's just lucky he didn't hit the "tampon remover" button by mistake.
          Women can do anything men can.
          But we don't because lots of it's disgusting.
          Maxine

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          • #6
            Is he sure the "brown thing" wasn't coming OUT of his butthole?
            "All I've ever learned from love was how to shoot somebody who out-drew ya"

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            • #7
              I've seen enough hentai to know where this is going...
              Ne auderis delere orbem rigidum meum! - Don't you dare erase my hard disk!

              This is Tech Support, not Customer Service.
              What's the difference?
              We're allowed to tell you "no".

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              • #8
                "Hmm....chair designed by Urotsukidoji Industries?"

                Comment


                • #9
                  LOL!! Wishful thinking indeed!
                  Although I'm sure a massage chair with restraints and built in dildo would be popular in some places, or with certain people..perhaps the BDSM crowd

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    He's not supposed to sit on those things naked....
                    When you start at zero, everything's progress.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Quoth MoonCat View Post
                      He's not supposed to sit on those things naked....
                      So glad I wasn't drinking anything!
                      The best professors are mad scientists! -Zoom

                      Now queen of USSR-Land...

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                      • #12
                        I just read a story on an adult site for woman, about one of those chairs. Maybe idiot read it too and didn't realize it was fiction.

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                        • #13
                          Sounds like the guy is just a wee bit insecure; I guess the chair should have moved slower and have at least bought him a drink!
                          "If anyone wants this old box containing the broken bits of my former faith in humanity, I'll take your best offer now. You may be able to salvage a few of em' for parts..... " - Quote by Argabarga

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                          • #14
                            How did he know it was brown?
                            Seshat's self-help guide:
                            1. Would you rather be right, or get the result you want?
                            2. If you're consistently getting results you don't want, change what you do.
                            3. Deal with the situation you have now, however it occurred.
                            4. Accept the consequences of your decisions.

                            "All I want is a pretty girl, a decent meal, and the right to shoot lightning at fools." - Anders, Dragon Age.

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                            • #15
                              Quoth Seshat View Post
                              How did he know it was brown?
                              If he's implying it's poking where we think he's implying it's poking, then regardless of its original colour it'll likely have ended up brown!
                              This was one of those times where my mouth says "have a nice day" but my brain says "go step on a Lego". - RegisterAce
                              I can't make something magically appear to fulfill all your hopes and dreams. Believe me, if I could I'd be the first person I'd help. - Trixie

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