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A few from work that amused me over the last couple weeks.
No, We Don't Listen. Why, Did You Say Something?
These two guys come into the bar at a slow time. The following conversation ensues:
GUY 1: "Is Billy working?"
JESTER: "Not at the moment, but I can check the schedule to see when he works next."
GUY 2: "Does he work tonight?"
JESTER: *blink blink* "I...don't know. Let me check the schedule."
Apparently he thought that, while I didn't know when my coworker worked the rest of the week, I HAD to know when he worked that day. He was quite wrong on that, as I don't know anyone's schedule but mine if I don't look. And why would I?
Discounts! Discounts! Discounts!
My coworker Hello Kitty had a real winner. This lady was actually upset that we wouldn't give let them use a free sampler coupon, AND a military discount, AND a 10% off coupon, AND a local's discount, all on one check.
HK: "I'm sorry, we can only apply one discount."
SC: "But why?"
HK: "...Beeee-cause....that's policy, and we don't give things away for free."
SC: "But the Cheesecake Factory lets us do that!"
HK: (looking around at the bar) "Nope. This doesn't look like the Cheesecake Factory. Sorry."
By the way, no, I promise you, Cheesecake Factory does NOT allow you to use four discounts/coupons so that you can end up getting shit for almost free. Nope, not, nada, not happening, you're wrong, sorry, NO.
We're So Lazy!
On Friday night, when we were rather busy, a woman came in to get a table for a large party. She wanted to know if there was room for her large party upstairs on the roof deck. The server she talked to, my coworker Ball Girl, told her to feel free to go upstairs to check it out. This did not satisfy the woman. She insisted that Ball Girl should go upstairs and check FOR her. Ball Girl very politely explained to her that she (Ball Girl) was waiting tables downstairs, and was rather busy. The woman then proceeded to get bitchy and call BG lazy and worthless, and was basically a complete bitch because, ya know, she wanted BG to drop everything she was doing and go upstairs to see if there was room for her party when she was fully capable of doing it herself. I should point out that the roof deck is a seat yourself area, so it's not like they would have had to wait for a hostess to seat them. Insult was added to injury when said bitchy woman later was sitting at the bar complaining to me about it, as I am (apparently) her favorite bartender. How much of a favorite am I? She basically told me, after I told her I had just clocked out, that because SHE was there, I should STILL get behind the bar and serve her. Because, ya know, we're the BEST of friends, and I obviously adore her as much as she adores me. It's customers like this that drive me nuts. (It's also customers like this that proclaim their love for you, and then leave you with a hilariously cheap 10% tip after boasting about their wonderful tipping prowess. Every server on this board knows what I'm talking about.)
Yeah, I'm her favorite. She ain't mine.
No, We Don't Listen. Why, Did You Say Something?
These two guys come into the bar at a slow time. The following conversation ensues:
GUY 1: "Is Billy working?"
JESTER: "Not at the moment, but I can check the schedule to see when he works next."
GUY 2: "Does he work tonight?"
JESTER: *blink blink* "I...don't know. Let me check the schedule."
Apparently he thought that, while I didn't know when my coworker worked the rest of the week, I HAD to know when he worked that day. He was quite wrong on that, as I don't know anyone's schedule but mine if I don't look. And why would I?
Discounts! Discounts! Discounts!
My coworker Hello Kitty had a real winner. This lady was actually upset that we wouldn't give let them use a free sampler coupon, AND a military discount, AND a 10% off coupon, AND a local's discount, all on one check.
HK: "I'm sorry, we can only apply one discount."
SC: "But why?"
HK: "...Beeee-cause....that's policy, and we don't give things away for free."
SC: "But the Cheesecake Factory lets us do that!"
HK: (looking around at the bar) "Nope. This doesn't look like the Cheesecake Factory. Sorry."
By the way, no, I promise you, Cheesecake Factory does NOT allow you to use four discounts/coupons so that you can end up getting shit for almost free. Nope, not, nada, not happening, you're wrong, sorry, NO.
We're So Lazy!
On Friday night, when we were rather busy, a woman came in to get a table for a large party. She wanted to know if there was room for her large party upstairs on the roof deck. The server she talked to, my coworker Ball Girl, told her to feel free to go upstairs to check it out. This did not satisfy the woman. She insisted that Ball Girl should go upstairs and check FOR her. Ball Girl very politely explained to her that she (Ball Girl) was waiting tables downstairs, and was rather busy. The woman then proceeded to get bitchy and call BG lazy and worthless, and was basically a complete bitch because, ya know, she wanted BG to drop everything she was doing and go upstairs to see if there was room for her party when she was fully capable of doing it herself. I should point out that the roof deck is a seat yourself area, so it's not like they would have had to wait for a hostess to seat them. Insult was added to injury when said bitchy woman later was sitting at the bar complaining to me about it, as I am (apparently) her favorite bartender. How much of a favorite am I? She basically told me, after I told her I had just clocked out, that because SHE was there, I should STILL get behind the bar and serve her. Because, ya know, we're the BEST of friends, and I obviously adore her as much as she adores me. It's customers like this that drive me nuts. (It's also customers like this that proclaim their love for you, and then leave you with a hilariously cheap 10% tip after boasting about their wonderful tipping prowess. Every server on this board knows what I'm talking about.)
Yeah, I'm her favorite. She ain't mine.
My manager caught me one day and reamed me out - she really had issues - and I felt a little bit guilty, but geez, the schedule WAS publicly posted for all employees to see...
I AM the evil bastard!
Good one.
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