Online Booking Tomfoolery

[Peppergirl]

BG: Supervisor in a 24 hr travel call center. I don't take as many calls as I used to before I was promoted, and I got a stinging reminder of how truly stupid the general public is.

I was working New Years Day and purposely chose the morning shift, because I assumed many of the idiots would sleep in. I was sorely mistaken.


This particular call came in because one of our online travel booking tools was failing to work. 99.9 percent of the time this is user error, not technical, and this call was no exception.


Me: Thanks for calling You're-an-Idiot online support, this is Peppergirl.

Idiot: Yeah, I keep putting my address in when it asks for 'billing address' for my credit card and it keeps saying it's a mismatch.

Me: Oh, our security is pretty tight on the site for the billing addresses. The street number, street name and everything have to match perfectly or it won't go through. Even if it's a letter off, it will reject. You should probably check your credit card statement to see what your exact address is.

Idiot: But I pay my bills online, I don't have a billing address.

Me: Sir, I assure you you have a billing address. Paying your bills online is fine, but one must always have a billing address for a credit card or debit card.

Idiot: But I pay them online, I don't get my bills sent to my house.

Me: So, what did you put for a billing address that it rejected?

Idiot: *recites random email address*

Me: No sir, that's an EMAIL address. What address did you type in for your billing address?

Idiot: I TOLD you, I pay my bills online! I put my email address for my billing address!

note: The above was said in the most condecending, incredulous tone - as if *I* were the dumbest asshole on this planet.

Me: Sir, what address did you provide when you filled out your bank application or credit card application?

Him: I didn't. I gave an email address.

Me: (officially giving up at this point - it was no longer worth the $8.00 fee we charge. This guy was too stupid to dress himself, let alone book travel)

Sir, I'm going to have to direct you to the specific airline website. Clearly ours is not going to work for your purposes. I can give you the airline address. What airline are you trying to book?

Him: Norfolk.

Me: No sir, not the airPORT, the airLINE.

Him: That *is* the airline. Norfolk International. (again said like *I* was the dumbass).

Me: *rattles off random airline web address*. Have a nice day, sir.

Oy. I certainly earned my time-and-a-half pay that day.

[Mr Hero]

Thanks for the warning. Now we know that one of GK's customers plans on traveling to the U.S.

[Mytical]

Ok..I am now taking calls for a call center, and have had my share of special. I am beginning to wonder what they put in the water where you are (and where Gatekeeper is) though. Cause 'special' does not even come close to covering some of the SC's you two deal with.

[Peppergirl]

Ok..I am now taking calls for a call center, and have had my share of special. I am beginning to wonder what they put in the water where you are (and where Gatekeeper is) though. Cause 'special' does not even come close to covering some of the SC's you two deal with.

You and I live less than 50 miles apart...I'm sure it's contageous.

[gerund]

Idiot: But I pay my bills online, I don't have a billing address.

Me: Sir, I assure you you have a billing address. Paying your bills online is fine, but one must always have a billing address for a credit card or debit card.

Idiot: But I pay them online, I don't get my bills sent to my house.

Me: So, what did you put for a billing address that it rejected?

Idiot: *recites random email address*

Me: No sir, that's an EMAIL address. What address did you type in for your billing address?

Random thought "So how do they send you a new credit card? They can't email it to you. What address do they send it to?"

*THAT'S* your billing address.

[DGoddessChardonnay]

Damn. And I thought some of the folks in my area were "challenged."

Wonder if he lives in an email box.

*offers up booze of choice*

[emax4]

I would have asked, "when you have a delivery made to your residence, what's the address that it goes to?", but not, "In your normal lonely hours from being a wise-ass, what address do the taxicabs of hookers have to go to and tolerate your presence?"

[MoonCat]

Back when everything went by snail mail, we used to get this gem:

Me: "What is your address, please?"
Customer: "PO Box XXX..."
Me: "I need your actual address, please."
Customer: "That IS my address."
Me: "Sir, I'm sure you don't live in a post office box..."

See, we needed the house address because bills sent to PO boxes often came back "Undeliverable" (box had been closed), so we had to have a back-up.

[BeenThereDoneThat]

I love it when I'm placing an order for someone on the phone and I ask for the billing information...then sometime later in the call they tell me it's a different name on the card, or some such thing. I have to take the billing info first on a new order, so that's how I ask for it...then I ask if we're shipping to the same address or a different one (and/or a different name). Why in blue bloody blazes do they change their minds later? I wish they'd just forget altogether so their CC would fail and they'd get a phone call. Dopes.

[MiloMorai]

Sir, you can stop the condescending tone you are using as it is YOU that is calling ME for HELP.

[Merriweather]

Back when everything went by snail mail, we used to get this gem:

Me: "What is your address, please?"
Customer: "PO Box XXX..."
Me: "I need your actual address, please."
Customer: "That IS my address."
Me: "Sir, I'm sure you don't live in a post office box..."

See, we needed the house address because bills sent to PO boxes often came back "Undeliverable" (box had been closed), so we had to have a back-up.

They might not have been as oblivious as you think (then again....). There was a time, only a few short years ago, not decades, that hubby was stationed at a tiny naval facility in West Virginia. We lived in what was more a crossroads than an actual town. We had no mail delivery. We had a post office box. We lived on a street with no name, no numbers. No rural route. The post office box WAS our only address. Even our lease only listed a description of the house, and so many yards from one street, so many yards from another.

In fact, we were stopped once by a policeman (going 3 miles over the speed limit in a tiny NC town visiting my mom). The cop demanded a street address, and was very close to arresting hubby for insistng he didn't have one, until I got out of the car and shoved my WV license at him, where under address, it gave only the post office box (hubby had a home state license, allowable in the military).

I couldn't even order from most on-line stores while we lived there (and this was after 9 years of not being able to order on-line cause no one would ship to an APO (military) address

[Kristev]

I . . . . I . . . I . . . I don't understand. They allowed someone this moronic to get their hands on a financially powerful card? They'd be better off giving the tri-force to Darth Vader!

[telecom_goddess]

Thanks for the warning. Now we know that one of GK's customers plans on traveling to the U.S.

yup seems like it!

[Moosenogger]

Maybe you should have spelled it out for him since he was so damn stupid. "Sir, your billing address is usually the same as your HOME ADDRESS. Why don't you try putting that in there?"

It seems like he was so caught up on the idea of how exactly he pays a specific bill that he wasn't realizing wtf a billing address is. NEWSFLASH DOOFUS SC, it's where companies can SEND YOU A BILL if you don't pay online.