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Bright Ideas and Hostages
More stories overheard from the call center. I really felt sorry for them today.
Bright Idea #1 I'm too Special
Madam Smartypants tries to call customer service to ask a few questions about a shipment. Upon dialing the number, she discovers her call has been placed last in line with many calls ahead of hers. Being Queen of Clothing and a highly esteemed (completely unknown) fashion designer, she simply cannot wait in a LINE! Naturally, she hangs up and dials the number to the call center.
MS: Hello, I need to know a few things about a shipment.
CCG: Can i have *info* please?
MS: *info*
CCG: Is this call in regards to appointment times?
MS: No. I need to know how much this will cost, when I can expect it, and what size truck it will be shipped in.
CCG: Oh, I'm sorry but I don't have access to that information. I'll have to transfer you to customer service.
MS: I don't think you understand. I just called them and got put in a LINE!!!
CCG: Oh.
MS: I am a fashionista! Far too busy to wait so long.
CCG: Well that's all I can do, I'm sorry.
MS: Fine, transfer me!
CCG: Ok hol-
MS: But first I have a question!
CCG: Ok.
MS: How much will it all cost?
CCG: As I explained, I don't have access to that information.
Ms: Ok but when will it get here?
CCG: I have no way of finding out.
MS: What type of tru-
CCG: Mam, all I can do in transfer you. I can only place appointmets, reschedule appointments, cancel appointments and answer questions about appointments.
MS: Fine!
CCG: Have a pleasant day! *transfer*
Bright Idea #2 Hostages
A guy called yesterday whining about how mean ol' mister trucker left without picking up his stuff. CCG calls the terminal manager who explained Gene Ass's freight wasn't ready so, after 20 minutes, Mister Trucker left. CCG rescheduled his appointment and that was that.
Today, Gene Ass called again saying he's really getting fed up, Mister Trucker left his freight AGAIN and he's so angry yadayadayada.
CCG calls TM who explained the frieght was still not ready so Mister Trucker left. TM agreed to have MT come back so long as the freight is ready.
Gene Ass said it absolutly is ready now so the appoinment was remade. He asked CCG why MT keeps leaving. CCG explained truck drivers can't stay at a location longer than 20 mins or else their whole route will suffer. Gene Ass is satisfied and hangs up.
Later, Gene Ass called again saying he is seething because MT STILL didn't get his frieght and he has no excuse because it was ready this time! CCG calls the TM who tells this story:
MT came to the location to discover the freight wasn't ready. He told Gene Ass he couldn't keep doing this. Gene Ass promised it would be ready in 10 minutes flat. MT graciously agreed to stay. While MT was waiting, Gene Ass made one of his drones park their truck directly in front of MT's semi, blocking him in. 10 minutes later, MT goes to leave only to discover he is blocked in. He demanded they move the truck to let him leave. They say not until they finish packing their freight. MT calls TM ang gives him the lo-down. TM tells him under no circumstances is he to take their frieght because we won't tolerate this crappola. TM sends a tow-truck to the location and has Gene-Ass's truck moved so MT can escape.
The End
Shocked CCG told Gene he can't do that to truckers.
Gene demanded to speak o the higher ups. Her boss came and basically told Gene his behavior was unacceptable and if he wanted his frieght to be shipped, he would have to cart it to the terminal himself because we will not be sending trucks to his location any longer.
Bright Idea #3 Penny Pinching
Tight Wad calls in yelling that no one picked up her frieght.
CCG does so detective work and finds out TW tried to cheat the system by jamming 3 pallets worth of freight on ONE pallet. The driver said it was roughly 10 feet tall and jutted off the sides of the pallet! So, he left it. We weren't aware of the amount of frieght jammed on one pallet so we couldn't accomodate the size.
CCG: If you told us beforehand, we would have labeled it as "oversized" and sent a truck with more room.
TW: IT'S NOT MY JOB TO TELL YOU!! NO ONE TOLD ME! I WAS NEVER ASKED!
CCG: Sir, we assume the shipper has the common sense to inform us of such things so we don't ask. Now you can either get more pallets or I can label it as "oversized" and reschedule the pick-up.
Needless to say, he shup his damned pie hole and rescheduled.
Bright Idea #4 Name Calling
Lisa: Hi this is Lisa, how may I hely you?
Memory Master: xxxxThanks so much Shellyxxxxx.
Lisa: xxxxxxxxx?
MM: xxxxx. xxxx.xxxYou're a sweetheart Katlyn!xxxxxxxx?
Lisa: xxxxxxx.xxxxxxxx?
MM: Thanks Emily. Oh and xxxxxxxxxxxxx?
Lisa: xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx.
MM: xxx?
Lisa: xx.
MM: Oh Tiffany?xxxx? xxx.xxx. xxxx?
Lisa: x.
MM: Hey Becca? xxxxxxxxxxxx?
Lisa: xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx.
MM: By the way Brittany xxxxxxxxxxxxx.
Lisa: xxxxxxxxx.
MM: Oh and Mary?
Lisa: xxxxxxx?
MM: You're so patient Tina?
Lisa: xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx.
MM: Thanks for everything Tracy.
Lisa: No problem...
MM: G'bye Lacy.
Lisa: You too.
She sounded pleasant, but you could tell on the inside she was like:
"IT'S LISA YOU STUPID ASSHOLE!!! LISAAAAAAA! WRITE IT DOWN BEFORE I STAPLE IT TO THE INSIDE OF YOUR EYELIDS AND NAIL IT TO YOU'RE F#CK!N@ FOREHEAD!!!!!!"
Bright Idea #1 I'm too Special
Madam Smartypants tries to call customer service to ask a few questions about a shipment. Upon dialing the number, she discovers her call has been placed last in line with many calls ahead of hers. Being Queen of Clothing and a highly esteemed (completely unknown) fashion designer, she simply cannot wait in a LINE! Naturally, she hangs up and dials the number to the call center.
MS: Hello, I need to know a few things about a shipment.
CCG: Can i have *info* please?
MS: *info*
CCG: Is this call in regards to appointment times?
MS: No. I need to know how much this will cost, when I can expect it, and what size truck it will be shipped in.
CCG: Oh, I'm sorry but I don't have access to that information. I'll have to transfer you to customer service.
MS: I don't think you understand. I just called them and got put in a LINE!!!
CCG: Oh.
MS: I am a fashionista! Far too busy to wait so long.
CCG: Well that's all I can do, I'm sorry.
MS: Fine, transfer me!
CCG: Ok hol-
MS: But first I have a question!
CCG: Ok.
MS: How much will it all cost?
CCG: As I explained, I don't have access to that information.
Ms: Ok but when will it get here?
CCG: I have no way of finding out.
MS: What type of tru-
CCG: Mam, all I can do in transfer you. I can only place appointmets, reschedule appointments, cancel appointments and answer questions about appointments.
MS: Fine!
CCG: Have a pleasant day! *transfer*
Bright Idea #2 Hostages
A guy called yesterday whining about how mean ol' mister trucker left without picking up his stuff. CCG calls the terminal manager who explained Gene Ass's freight wasn't ready so, after 20 minutes, Mister Trucker left. CCG rescheduled his appointment and that was that.
Today, Gene Ass called again saying he's really getting fed up, Mister Trucker left his freight AGAIN and he's so angry yadayadayada.
CCG calls TM who explained the frieght was still not ready so Mister Trucker left. TM agreed to have MT come back so long as the freight is ready.
Gene Ass said it absolutly is ready now so the appoinment was remade. He asked CCG why MT keeps leaving. CCG explained truck drivers can't stay at a location longer than 20 mins or else their whole route will suffer. Gene Ass is satisfied and hangs up.
Later, Gene Ass called again saying he is seething because MT STILL didn't get his frieght and he has no excuse because it was ready this time! CCG calls the TM who tells this story:
MT came to the location to discover the freight wasn't ready. He told Gene Ass he couldn't keep doing this. Gene Ass promised it would be ready in 10 minutes flat. MT graciously agreed to stay. While MT was waiting, Gene Ass made one of his drones park their truck directly in front of MT's semi, blocking him in. 10 minutes later, MT goes to leave only to discover he is blocked in. He demanded they move the truck to let him leave. They say not until they finish packing their freight. MT calls TM ang gives him the lo-down. TM tells him under no circumstances is he to take their frieght because we won't tolerate this crappola. TM sends a tow-truck to the location and has Gene-Ass's truck moved so MT can escape.
The End
Shocked CCG told Gene he can't do that to truckers.
Gene demanded to speak o the higher ups. Her boss came and basically told Gene his behavior was unacceptable and if he wanted his frieght to be shipped, he would have to cart it to the terminal himself because we will not be sending trucks to his location any longer.
Bright Idea #3 Penny Pinching
Tight Wad calls in yelling that no one picked up her frieght.
CCG does so detective work and finds out TW tried to cheat the system by jamming 3 pallets worth of freight on ONE pallet. The driver said it was roughly 10 feet tall and jutted off the sides of the pallet! So, he left it. We weren't aware of the amount of frieght jammed on one pallet so we couldn't accomodate the size.
CCG: If you told us beforehand, we would have labeled it as "oversized" and sent a truck with more room.
TW: IT'S NOT MY JOB TO TELL YOU!! NO ONE TOLD ME! I WAS NEVER ASKED!
CCG: Sir, we assume the shipper has the common sense to inform us of such things so we don't ask. Now you can either get more pallets or I can label it as "oversized" and reschedule the pick-up.
Needless to say, he shup his damned pie hole and rescheduled.
Bright Idea #4 Name Calling
Lisa: Hi this is Lisa, how may I hely you?
Memory Master: xxxxThanks so much Shellyxxxxx.
Lisa: xxxxxxxxx?
MM: xxxxx. xxxx.xxxYou're a sweetheart Katlyn!xxxxxxxx?
Lisa: xxxxxxx.xxxxxxxx?
MM: Thanks Emily. Oh and xxxxxxxxxxxxx?
Lisa: xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx.
MM: xxx?
Lisa: xx.
MM: Oh Tiffany?xxxx? xxx.xxx. xxxx?
Lisa: x.
MM: Hey Becca? xxxxxxxxxxxx?
Lisa: xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx.
MM: By the way Brittany xxxxxxxxxxxxx.
Lisa: xxxxxxxxx.
MM: Oh and Mary?
Lisa: xxxxxxx?
MM: You're so patient Tina?
Lisa: xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx.
MM: Thanks for everything Tracy.
Lisa: No problem...
MM: G'bye Lacy.
Lisa: You too.
She sounded pleasant, but you could tell on the inside she was like:
"IT'S LISA YOU STUPID ASSHOLE!!! LISAAAAAAA! WRITE IT DOWN BEFORE I STAPLE IT TO THE INSIDE OF YOUR EYELIDS AND NAIL IT TO YOU'RE F#CK!N@ FOREHEAD!!!!!!"
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