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Back when I worked in CVS 10 years ago, Valentines Day always brought out both the best and worst in people. Drugstores like CVS, with their Hallmark cards, candies, and other romantic gifts, were always the default store for last minute lovers and broke husbands. Here's a collection of Valentines Day encounters...
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The departed always get screwed this time of year
Woman: I have a really silly question.
Me: Okay.
Woman: My aunt just died.
Me: I'm so sorry.
Woman: ...
Me: ...
Woman: ...so you know what I'm going to ask?
Me: I'm sorry, I'm not sure.
*gestures towards the Hallmark section*
Woman: Do you have cards for the bereaved?
Me: We sure do. Let me show them to you.
Woman: Oh, I'm so relieved. See, with Valentines Day coming next week, I thought you switched all of the cards to Valentines Day cards!
Me: o_O
Because nobody has Birthdays, Anniversaries, or Funerals in February!
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On a lighter note...
This teenager comes to my register with a Valentines Day card, some chocolates, condoms, and some scotch tape, pays for it with no incident... then:
Guy: Oh, shoot, I forgot to get pens. Hey, man, is there anyway I could borrow one? My girlfriend is at the mall shopping somewhere and I need to sign this card.
Me: Sure, no problem. Here you go.
Guy: Thanks, man, appreciate it.
He puts all of his purchases aside to an unused counter and begins his task, which consisted him of not only signing the card, but using the scotch tape to tape one of the condoms in the box to the card. He returns the pen to me, and carries on his way.
I never learned what happened after that.
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Usually I hate it when customers do this, but this one was actually entertaining
This was the side of the cellphone conversation I heard by a woman shortly after Valentines Day, as we were doing our purchase.
"Mmmhmm... mmmhmm... okay, well, he should have thought about that before sleeping with her... mmmhmm... of course I'm pissed off at Juliana, too! But that doesn't mean I'm not pissed off at him! Mmmhmm... oh, I don't buy that for one minute, she might have been coming on to him but there is NO WAY she forced it upon him... mmhmm... well, you should have hea-- yeah, of course Juliana's not invited to the spring training thing after what she did! I mean IT WAS VALENTINES DAY! Mmmhmm... yeah, well, you know what he said for an excuse in the beginning? Yeah, get this: He said he thought it was me because it was so dark. Yeah, can you believe it? What a pig! I'm more pissed off that it happened on VALENTINES DAY than anything!"
It sounds like Juliana would have gone to spring training if she just didn't do it on Valentines Day.
===========================
The departed always get screwed this time of year
Woman: I have a really silly question.
Me: Okay.
Woman: My aunt just died.
Me: I'm so sorry.
Woman: ...
Me: ...
Woman: ...so you know what I'm going to ask?
Me: I'm sorry, I'm not sure.
*gestures towards the Hallmark section*
Woman: Do you have cards for the bereaved?
Me: We sure do. Let me show them to you.
Woman: Oh, I'm so relieved. See, with Valentines Day coming next week, I thought you switched all of the cards to Valentines Day cards!
Me: o_O
Because nobody has Birthdays, Anniversaries, or Funerals in February!
===========================
On a lighter note...
This teenager comes to my register with a Valentines Day card, some chocolates, condoms, and some scotch tape, pays for it with no incident... then:
Guy: Oh, shoot, I forgot to get pens. Hey, man, is there anyway I could borrow one? My girlfriend is at the mall shopping somewhere and I need to sign this card.
Me: Sure, no problem. Here you go.
Guy: Thanks, man, appreciate it.
He puts all of his purchases aside to an unused counter and begins his task, which consisted him of not only signing the card, but using the scotch tape to tape one of the condoms in the box to the card. He returns the pen to me, and carries on his way.
I never learned what happened after that.
===========================
Usually I hate it when customers do this, but this one was actually entertaining
This was the side of the cellphone conversation I heard by a woman shortly after Valentines Day, as we were doing our purchase.
"Mmmhmm... mmmhmm... okay, well, he should have thought about that before sleeping with her... mmmhmm... of course I'm pissed off at Juliana, too! But that doesn't mean I'm not pissed off at him! Mmmhmm... oh, I don't buy that for one minute, she might have been coming on to him but there is NO WAY she forced it upon him... mmhmm... well, you should have hea-- yeah, of course Juliana's not invited to the spring training thing after what she did! I mean IT WAS VALENTINES DAY! Mmmhmm... yeah, well, you know what he said for an excuse in the beginning? Yeah, get this: He said he thought it was me because it was so dark. Yeah, can you believe it? What a pig! I'm more pissed off that it happened on VALENTINES DAY than anything!"
It sounds like Juliana would have gone to spring training if she just didn't do it on Valentines Day.
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