Sexual Harrassment Radius

[Jester]

For some reason I am unsettlingly desirable to our clientèle this week.

This week? How is this week any different from every other week you tell us about?

I must admit you have put me in a rather difficult position, sir. As the easiest and most direct explanation for your problem is that you are a god damn idiot.

Both sadly and amusingly, that is so often the case with so many of our customers. Not just yours, but all of ours. Well, especially yours, but not just yours.

Some day, I’ll actually make it through an entire week without speaking to at least one person who forms sentences like a cartoon Neanderthal.

Some day. <wistful sigh>

Sure. Once you get a new job. Or once they cut off all the phones in Nunavut. And North Carolina. And the U.S. government office that makes use of your company's services stops making use of your company's services. And insanity, inbreeding, and idiocy are wiped from the face of the earth.

Right. Some day. You just keep up that positive thinking, pal.

My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard.

For someone who seems to be somewhat alarmed that he is, and I quote, "unsettling desirable" to your clientele, you also seem to be rather proud of it. Curious, that. Or, as the famous quote goes, "Methinks he doth protest too much."

It would appear I still have some milkshake left over.

More protestation. Denial, thy name is Gravekeeper.

Clearly, I have made too much milkshake.

To quote the joke, "You're not really out here to hunt, are you?"

Therefore I am most curious as to why you just called me a "hairy ball" and hung up on me.

Out of milkshake, are you?

I give up. No one in Nunavut seems to understand the word “Only”. No one. I have no idea why, but this seems to be a universal pandemic. What precisely causes this? What mysterious force has eliminated this word from the vocabulary of an entire territory?

You are vastly underestimating the scope of the problem. It is not limited to merely Nunavut. As a bartender and server, I have dealt with people not understanding simple things like "only" in major cities and popular vacation destinations. People who have grown up and lived their lives in far more densely populated regions than your "favorite" Canadian province.

An example from my days at the brewpub in Phoenix--which is sadly not even close to being an isolated incident--illustrates this perfectly. After his compatriots had ordered their respective drinks, this nitwit attempted to order a beverage for himself.

NITWIT: "Ah'll have a Coors Light."
JESTER: "Um...I'm sorry, sir, but this is a brewpub. The only beers we have are the ones we make here."
NITWIT: "Oh. Okay then. Ah'll have a Miller Lite."

I could cite more examples from pretty much every single job I've held for more than five minutes, but suffice it to say that this is far from unusual.

[Mamochan]

Musical Accompaniment

Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m not trying to say that you and your company are….oh what’s a polite way to put it? Flailing wildly trying to ward off the swarm of bees that is natural selection? However, seeing as you called me, asked me to hold, then called me again on another line which I likewise answered, then told me to wait a sec while you connected me. Then proceeded to connect me to myself and then did not understand why GK #1 had put us on hold and wasn’t responding to your request to talk to GK #2……It really does raise some concerns about what exactly you were trying to accomplish and how exactly that was suppose to help accomplish it.

Unless your objective was for both of us to be able to enjoy my on hold music together. In which case, mission accomplished.

GK, did these come across from the same line? I can think of a couple scenarios with the company I work for where or roll over service can trigger calls like that.

EG, caller is a customer of a using b's video bridge and we provide branded support for both.

[hinakiba777]

So far the only calls I get from the territoreis is the Yukon, no Northwest Territories, no Nunavut. I have nightmares now about trying to go over banking info with of your customers. *shudder*

Also, GK you can never have too much milkshake.

[BeenThereDoneThat]

Nothing like a GK post to wrap up the day...

Sometime today I had a caller that reminded me of one of yours, GK...shame I can't remember why, now. That's my brain on 9+ hours at the call center for you...

[Dilorenzo]

My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard.

Great. Now I have that AND Shit Fuck Stack stuck in my head.

Which, honestly, doesn't make for a tasty, tasty beverage.

[mharbourgirl]

I give up. No one in Nunavut seems to understand the word “Only”. No one. I have no idea why, but this seems to be a universal pandemic. What precisely causes this? What mysterious force has eliminated this word from the vocabulary of an entire territory? I

Interesting. I read today that the Canadian government is trying to preserve the local language up there (most of the population is Inuit). Maybe it's a language barrier?

No, the problem is that there is more than one language up there. With not a lot of common words between them. There's an OFFICIAL Nunavut language (the written form is quite pretty from a visual standpoint, in my opinion), but I'm not sure how many groups actually speak it.

I don't think it's Nunavut that's the problem, though. They're not the only folks who order pink camo crap to brighten up their lives. Exhibit:

Saddle

Saddle Pads

Courtesy of a horsey friend of mine down south. She also showed me a pic of a horse whose hooves had been painted up in pink camo, but I don't have a link.

[Mr Hero]

GK, what if the boys were already heading to the yard? Maybe your milkshake had nothing to do with it.

[seigus]

But you were perfectly okay with a 200% price increase over what you expected to pay when I desperately attempted to identify the impending danger for you.


In fact I’ve been looking at this the wrong way for years. I shouldn’t be criticizing you for being so far behind the rest of human civilization. I should be celebrating how far you’ve managed to get towards the rest of human civilization despite having an alarmingly shallow gene pool.

Still desperately identifying danger? Celebrating the achievements of the vast emptiness? One might, if one didn't know better, conclude you still retain some affection and sympathy for the human species...
Nah, what am I thinking?

[MoonCat]

Then proceeded to connect me to myself and then did not understand why GK #1 had put us on hold and wasn’t responding to your request to talk to GK #2…

So you finally got to talk to a normal person?

You're trying to figure out exactly what you're doing and why you're here, I'm trying to figure out a polite way to point out you're wearing a hand puppet on your junk

Was it Tickle Me Elmo?

The Yard

SC: “Just send me the money, honey.”

……Will do, sir.

My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard.

Shake it, baby!

[BlaqueKatt]

You know what? I take that back. I’m sorry. With that sort of remoteness and population density “Fire” is probably still a recent invention. I should be proud of you for even having phones. In fact I’ve been looking at this the wrong way for years. I shouldn’t be criticizing you for being so far behind the rest of human civilization. I should be celebrating how far you’ve managed to get towards the rest of human civilization despite having an alarmingly shallow gene pool.

Well one of my former coworkers was from Nunavut, she moved to the US in the late 50's early 60's and had never seen a car, and had built igloos, and had sled dogs....so yeah....

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

Therefore I am most curious as to why you just called me a "hairy ball" and hung up on me.

Must be the milkshake.

I mean you have a population of….er….wait, 31,000? That’s all?

My fair city has more people than that, and they're not all that more advanced in the evolution department. ><

[Becks]

Clearly, I have made too much milkshake.

Impossible!!










Okay...I'll try to try to behave now.

[HiddenMica]

You know GK I really want to call you and order something small or some thing of the like just so you can have a normal customer on the phone for once. lol

[Sapphire Silk]

Please Get Off The Internet
( Oh my God I wish I was making this guy up ).

SC: “Uh, yeah I just got a confirmation to return an item and it said: Please print a copy of this email and include it with your return. But when I try to print it out it won’t print right. But when I go to your website and try an’ print the <item> the copy came right out.”

Clearly he thinks his entire computer is the Internet.

But it was as the painfully honest newcomer that once again stole the show this week. <snip> But this too failed him and he still remains cold and lonely to this day.

Poor guy. I guess Rosie wasn't available.

Perhaps its the failure to bathe. Regularly. As in, more than once a year.

I give up. No one in Nunavut seems to understand the word “Only”. No one. I have no idea why, but this seems to be a universal pandemic.

Interesting. I read today that the Canadian government is trying to preserve the local language up there (most of the population is Inuit). Maybe it's a language barrier?

[Mr Hero]

Its like running into a naked sleep walker in a public wash room.

Not a wash room, but unfortunately, I can relate.