A Mind-Numbing Phone Call

[myswtghst]

My favorite is when we get wrong number calls, and people expect me to know the number of the insurance company/hospital/car rental place/etc they're trying to reach. I feel bad, since we do have more inbound numbers than I actually know the numbers for, so I can't guarantee you dialed what you think you dialed, but still.

On the other end, though, we had a mixup a while back, as one of the XM radio providers had a phone number with XMRadio in it. People would misdial to FMRadio, and that was one of our numbers. Since it was a common mistake, we did have their correct number.

[CrazedClerk]

It's times like these I'm glad the games store I work at did NOT have a phone book in it. I don't like doing other people's legwork for them.

[Spiffy McMoron]

I was always amazed at the number of people who thought Kinko's was some sort of information/phone book service.

I'd be more worried about about any people that thought it was a strip club!

Anyways, it's Crappy Tire Storytime! (tm)

My friend T was working in housewares at the time of this incident, and that's the departement that handles furniture--desks, bookcases, etc. My friend picks up the phone one evening, and this conversation ensues:

T: Crappy Tire, T speaking. How can I help you?
SC: Hi. I was just at your ABCD Road store, and they said that you had the following product in stock: *rattles off a SKU number*
T: *Punches the number into the computer.* Hmmm. That's wierd, that number is not coming up in our system. Could you repeat it?
SC: *Rattles off the same SKU number*
T: Huh. Well, that number is not coming up in our system. Could you describe the product for me?
SC: It's a [company Z] computer desk, cherry wood, blah, blah, blah.
T: Hmmm...that's weird. I believe that we only carry [company X, Y, and Q]
SC: Well you're wrong! Your ABCD store said that you have a bunch of them!
T: Well, OK, let me take a look in the back. *T looks in the back, while SC is becoming increasingly irate on the phone.*
T: I'm sorry ma'am, but we don't have anything by [company Z]
SC: That does it! I'm never shopping at Staples ever again!!!
T: Ma'am...this is Canadian Tire...
SC: *Hangs up*

This is bizarre on several levels-
1) The last four digits of the phone number between Staples and Canadian Tire were close, but different. I could give the SC the beneift of the doubt if that were the only difference. BUT the first three digits of the phone number were COMPLETELY different from each other.
2) SC missed the fact that Staples doesn't have a Housewares departement.
3) Now that we're on the subject, Staples doesn't have a Auto Service, Auto Parts, Hardware (OK, that one I would give to the SC. ), Sports or Seasonal--departements that the SC could have talked to used the phone directory, which all incoming calls must first go through.
4) The SC missed the fact that both the directory and T both mentioned the fact that you were calling a Crappy Tire.

[Kara]

SC: That does it! I'm never shopping at Staples ever again!!!
T: Ma'am...this is Canadian Tire...

That reminds me of a call I had a couple years ago. This guy came on my line and his account info didn't come up on my screen. No biggie, I ask him his mobile number. The number he gives me comes up "No Records Found." Before I can tell him this, he goes on the offensive, screaming that he's done with his service and he can't stand us anymore. He said that ever since we merged with (Competitor Y), his service keeps getting worse and now he gets nothing at all in Miami.

He continues to yell for another 10 minutes, not letting me get a word in edgewise. Keep in mind this was right after Hurricane Ivan and Katrina, and you have no idea how many people called in from the southernmost states who had no clue as to why their service didn't work. (Yeah, you know those big fancy towers we have all over the place, Mr/Mrs Customer? Well, they were kind of annihilated along with everything else. But you know what? Why don't you worry about more important things, like finding your home?) The thing that tipped me off as to the real issue was that he either gave me the wrong number or didn't have an account, so when he finally let me speak I said that I was sorry to hear he didn't have service anymore, and that I noticed he said he'd been having problems since "we" merged with (Competitor Y). Except that we didn't merge with (Competitor Y), that was (Competitor Z). I informed him that he was speaking to (Company X). He asked why the hell he was talking to (Company X). I let him know we have similar numbers for customer care, but as long as he was on the line and I knew he was having problems with their service, I'd be happy to look at the coverage that we could offer.

He said he'd definitely call back, but first had to call the right people to scream at

[HYHYBT]

"OK, do you happen to know the number [to the bank]?" They told me they did, and gave me the number to a carpenter.

I get similar results when I ask Cingular's 411 service for numbers. It's the one and only complaint I could make about the company.

We do get a lot of calls at work for other stores in the same chain. If it's one in the same company, easy enough... but corporate stores and other franchisees I have no idea. Except the one that for a while we were getting so many calls for that I drove over there and *got* the number, and still carry it in my wallet just for these people.

I've also gotten calls like this:
"Are you the one near Subway?"
"Yes"
"Can you see them from there?"
"Yes"
"Good, are they still open?"
"I don't know, they never turn off their lights..." of course, it's all downhill from there. Now why they went to the trouble of *looking up OUR number* on the off-chance we'd know about Subway, when Subway's number is just as accessible, I have no idea.

We both do and don't have a phone book. We do, in that at whatever time of year they come out we get one. It's four or five volumes. We don't, in that they disappear about one every month or two, so the longer after they've come out that you need a number the less likely we are to have that section, and almost half the year we have none at all. Last year I wrote somethhing like "do not remove from store" in marker on the covers and they disappeared even faster than usual

[Becks]

He said he'd definitely call back, but first had to call the right people to scream at

So...did he?

[Myra]

When I still worked in my old store, I got wrong numbers all the time. My office number was really close to the number for one of the Wal-Marts and a local movie theater. Most of the time, people simply apologized when they realized they'd dialed wrong. But some got downright aggravated that I didn't know what number they SHOULD have dialed. Or once an old lady thought I was lying when I told her I wasn't Wal-Mart. That got pretty heated before she finally hung up on me and didn't call back. Guess she actually checked and dialed right the next time.

[Dips]

When I worked in the research lab a local HMO inadvertently listed our lab number as the number for the fertility clinic in the same hospital. I don't recall any SC incidents, just a lot of having to explain what happened, giving them the right number and informing them that, no, we couldn't transfer their call.

There was one funny one, though.

Caller: So you're sure this isn't the IVF clinic?

Me: Nope. All our patients are mice.

Caller: OK. Thanks!

[Shironu-Akaineko]

My store's in a mall, and my department is WALLED IN (this one architect is a eau-de-moron dispenser). People will call for the bakery to ask at what time the SAAQ (booze store) closes. Or any of the 3 leftover shops on the deserted second floor. Or if X store in THE OTHER MALL is open that day.

But this is the best one. My uncle owns the restaurant next to us. Strangers will call up to my house to know the number of the restaurant, and get uppity cuz I don't know it. (I really don't, I just walk over there!)

[Kara]

So...did he?

Dunno. We have 26 million customers and something like 7000 reps, so the odds of ever seeing the same customer again are slim to nothing. I've had it happen a few times, sometimes twice in the same day. I've been here 3 years this month, but I think it's only happened like 4 times or so.