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How the F*** Would I Know?

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  • How the F*** Would I Know?

    This is a short one.

    Eugene is on line 1 with a customer. Line 3 rings. I see from caller ID that it's from the number of a well-known SC who always asks to speak to one of our male employees in sequence. He starts asking for Carl, then the chief of development, then the owner, then Eugene. Always in that order. If he ends up talking to me because no one else is there, it's quite clear that he's Not Happy but has no choice but to accept help from a Female. Ugh.

    But it's my job to deal with customers so I pick it up.

    SC: I'd like to speak with Eugene.

    Ah. From this I can tell he's already spoken with Eugene today. Otherwise, Eugene being choice #4 on his list, he'd have asked me for Carl, then the chief of development then the owner, THEN Eugene. Eugene probably filled him in on his very limited options earlier today.

    I transfer the call to Eugene.

    Not 15 second later. RING-RING.

    Same guy. I pick up.

    SC: Eugene's not there. I got his VOICE MAIL.

    His tone sounded like he was accusing me of hiding Eugene's body.

    Me: I apologize. He's defintely here but he's with another cusotmer at the moment.

    SC: How long will *that* take.

    Again with that tone! As if helping OTHER customers is somehow goofing off while keeping His Majesty waiting.

    And I'm thinking "How the fuck would I know? If it's a needy pompous asshole who expects us to spend ages talking him down from a royal snit every time he forgets to plug something in, then it could be a while."

    But of course I don't get paid to say what I'm thinking.

    Me: I really can't say but if you leave a message for him he will certainly call you back as soon as he's available.

    SC heaves a sigh and says NOTHING.

    Ah, passive-aggression. Of course. He's the type for it.

    He thinks I'll get all flustered by the oh-so-awkward silence and fill it by telling him what he wants to hear. Unfortunately (for him) it takes a wee bit more than anything he's dished out to fluster me. The more over the top full of themselves someone is, the more difficult it is for me to take them seriously.

    In fact I was starting to find the whole situation a little funny. Which isn't really good if it comes out in my voice. So I decided to say something and hurry it along.

    Me: Sir? Would you like his voice mail?

    SC: I SUPPOSE that will have to do.

    Oh, man. I almost laughed at loud but stopped myself. Good thing he couldn't see the big grin on my face.

    Me: All right. One moment please. [Transfers]
    The best karma is letting a jerk bash himself senseless on the wall of your polite indifference.

    The stupid is strong with this one.

  • #2
    Ah, tell him to suppository his suppose.

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    • #3
      Quoth Dips View Post
      He thinks I'll get all flustered by the oh-so-awkward silence and fill it by telling him what he wants to hear. Unfortunately (for him) it takes a wee bit more than anything he's dished out to fluster me. The more over the top full of themselves someone is, the more difficult it is for me to take them seriously.
      Right on! You handled that perfectly.

      I hate that passive-agressive crap. Act like a grown-up, and you'll get what you need. Act like a spoiled child, you'll be treated like one.
      I don't have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem.
      My LiveJournal
      A page we can all agree with!

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      • #4
        He must have been oiling his supposer. It's running very well.
        Engaged to the sweet Mytical He is my Black Dragon (and yes, a good one) strong, protective, the guardian. I am his Silver Dragon, always by his side, shining for him, cherishing him.

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        • #5
          Quoth Dips View Post
          But of course I don't get paid to say what I'm thinking.
          Nope. This is a service you can provide for fee.
          To right the countless wrongs of our days... We shine this light of true redemption, that this place may become as paradise...Oh, what a wonderful world such would be...

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