Quoth Jester
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Strange questions at work!
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Don't tempt pixies, it never ends well.
Avatar created by the lovely Eisa.
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Quoth KellyHabersham View PostI can't picture walking into a public building and NOT noticing the name or anything.
Yesterday had a group of people at the bar, including Loud Obnoxious Drunk Stupid Clumsy Woman. In addition to spilling most of one of her glasses of wine and falling out of her chair, at one point, when I poured her a new glass of wine and saw that there was still some wine in the bottle, the following conversations ensued...
LODSCW: "Hey, there's still some wine in there. You might as well just pour the rest in my glass."
ME, looking at the bottle: "Ma'am, there's almost a full glass's worth of wine in there!"
LODSCW: "Well, I still think I should get the rest of the bottle."
ME: "And I still think I should have a date with Megan Fox. But I don't."
I know, I know, it's not a stupid question per se, but it was a stupid comment, from a stupid customer, with a stupid assumption of entitlement. So I think it kinda fits here.
"The Customer Is Always Right...But The Bartender Decides Who Is Still A Customer."
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I think probably one of the strangest questions came totally out of the blue a few months ago on a day when I was running a register and, like a million times before, asked a customer for their store discount card. . .
WC (Weirdo Customer): "Do you ever feel strange handling other people's keyrings?"
Me: Never thought about it. Nobody's ever asked me that strange of a question before. {thinking: WTF are YOU smoking, Dude?}
Is it supposed to give me some sort of orgasm or something to handle keyrings? I still don't get it . . . come to think of it, I don't think HE ever had it, let alone got it.Human Resources - the adult version of "I'm telling Mom." - Agent Anthony "Tony" DiNozzo (NCIS)
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At the flower shop "Do you sell flowers here?" - mom deadpanned him "Nah, I just charge 'em rent"
at Valentines (at the flower shop) a gentleman walked past the line of customers trying to pay or pick out flowers, past all of the Neon Pink signage (on every available surface) that stated our prices, and into the work area - to ask "How much is a dzn roses?" "$95" "DOLLARS!?!?!?" "Well it ain't chickens!"I am well versed in the "gentle" art of verbal self-defense
Once is an accident; Twice is coincidence; Thrice is a pattern.
http://www.gofundme.com/treasurenathanwedding
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Somebody today asked me"Is this ready meal vegetarian?"
well seeing as it's Liver, Bacon and mashed potato ,I think maybe not."Light a fire for someone and he will be warm all day,
set light to someone and he will be warm for the rest of his life" Sir Samuel Vimes
Real stupidity beats artificial intelligence every time.
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Quoth Treasure View PostAt the flower shop "Do you sell flowers here?" - mom deadpanned him "Nah, I just charge 'em rent"
at Valentines (at the flower shop) a gentleman walked past the line of customers trying to pay or pick out flowers, past all of the Neon Pink signage (on every available surface) that stated our prices, and into the work area - to ask "How much is a dzn roses?" "$95" "DOLLARS!?!?!?" "Well it ain't chickens!"
"Your ad will be $20."
"Twenty DOLLARS???"
Used to drive one of my co-workers crazy. I always wanted to say "no, pesos!" Or "rubles" or maybe clams...just to see what kind of reaction I'd get.When you start at zero, everything's progress.
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Quoth Jester View Post"Do you take American money?" Key West is in Florida. Which, last I checked, is still one of the States.Any fool can piss on the floor. It takes a talented SC to shit on the ceiling.
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Quoth wolfie View PostIf you really wanted to blow their minds, you could tell them "You're in luck - NOW we accept U.S. currency. 150 years ago, anyone possessing U.S. currency would have been thrown in jail." See how long it takes for the penny to drop and for them to remember Florida's history."I don't have to be petty. The Universe does that for me."
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Quoth vloglady View PostI work in a public library. In 1998, a kid came up to me and wanted to know if we had any computer software on fish. I said no, we had BOOKS.
He left so disappointed.
I lost count of how many hours I played that on the Commodore 64.
Human Resources - the adult version of "I'm telling Mom." - Agent Anthony "Tony" DiNozzo (NCIS)
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Quoth smfrazier View PostJester's post about tourists reminded me of the story I heard about a tour boat out on the ocean at sundown. A tourist asked the guide " Can you move the boat closer to the sunset?"I am not an a**hole. I am a hemorrhoid. I irritate a**holes!
Procrastination: Forward planning to insure there is something to do tomorrow.
Derails threads faster than a pocket nuke.
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