That last one: Oh my god, I'm choking trying not to laugh out loud. I'm tearing up.
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I am a Racist and a Thief. Everyone should sue me. (Long)
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Quoth Rainman View PostAlthough 420 combined with hockey? Yeah. . . no way anything could go wrong.
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Quoth scruff View PostI've seen a few references to 420 and been horribly confused. I'm aware that different countries have different date styles, but I was racking me brains as the significance of 420, the only date in the last few days locally of importance was St Georges day... lol. but yeah, a Google search kicked in. A drugs day plus anything, I see the likelyhood of increasing sucky customers. :-) (although the idea of drugs plus big dragon-slaying swords.. messy)EVE Online: 99% of the time you sit around waiting for something to happen, but that 1% of action is what hooks people like crack, you don't get interviewed by the BBC for a WoW raid.
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Quoth SansDoute View Post
Pregnant:
Small collection of my stories when people decide to ask me when I'm due. It's called a pot-belly people!
SC: Oh my God! You must be due really soon.
Me: Nope, just really fat. Think I might go home and cut myself now. Thanks.
SC: ...
SC: You must be the girl who's pregnant that people have been talking about!
Me: Nope. Fat as hell. My self esteem is now at an all time low. Time to hit the gym. Come on fatty, we can do this.
SC: ...
SC: You must be due soon.
Me: Nope. Fat. Hey CW! I just got called fat again!
CW: Who the hell was it? I'll frickin' kill them!
SC: ...
SC: When are you due?
Me: Well *sniff*, it was supposed to be in June, but then there was so much blood and all I remember was screaming
SC:Lay your hands upon me
Like an angel from above
Put your arms around me,
'Cause you're fallin'
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Quoth Syriilord View PostAnything else is a nono.
She didn't hold it against me, but I felt like such an ass.Sometimes life is altered.
Break from the ropes your hands are tied.
Uneasy with confrontation.
Won't turn out right. Can't turn out right
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And all on one shift??? I hope you've gone through some extreme kind of meditation to get beyond the memory of this crap once you got home. People claiming that you're a racist bitch just because they don't get things their own way. It's SOOO easy to claim the race card these days.
I'm not racist by the color of people's skin. I just hate idiots.
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Quoth SansDoute View PostRacist:
CW: Hi, can I see 2 pieces of government ID please?
SC: You're a racist bitch! You're only asking me because I'm black!
CW:
SC: You didn't ask that white bitch in front of me for ID. You're racist!
CW: Umm, I didn't ask her for ID because she has grey hair, a walking stick, and she showed me pictures of her grandchildren.
SC: ....
CW: And you look like you're 16 years old.
SC: ...
CW: 2 pieces of ID or get out of the store.
SC: ...here you go.
Just wondering why you'd need a 2nd form of ID after someone showed their licence or something similar?
Loved the stories by the way! Customers + Booze= crazy times!"You're perfect yes it's true, but without meeeee you're only you!"
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I loved the cat suit one. That was funny. You've got some crazy customers! I work where all I see are drunk people but damn they gravitate towards you!
I get the "are you pregnant" thing all the time and I make them feel like bastards for asking too. You're awesome
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Speaking of ID's and why'd-you-ID-me-but-not-them whiners.... the bottle shop next door to where I work has a picture on the door, clearly of an employee who was roped/suckered into posing...
He's got on a Hawaiian shirt, huge novelty sunglasses, has a Grizzly Adams beard, a "Gilligan" hat on and a goofy looking smile
Underneath, it's captioned
"If you look more normal than THIS guy, we reserve the right to check ID"- They say nothing good happens at 2AM, they're right, I happen at 2AM.
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Quoth SansDoute View PostSC: She (pointing to my CW) is refusing to serve me!
Me: Yes, I've actually spoken to her and she felt you were under the influence and so she didn't feel comfortable serving you.
SC: I have cancer! My medicine makes me sway.
SC: It's my condition. It's a genetic disorder. I'm always like this. I can't help it. You're discriminating against my disability!
SC: You just won't serve me because I'm black.
Quoth SansDoute View PostSC: No. It's a free country. There's no law that says I have to tell people.
Quoth SansDoute View PostDamn bastard had kept to his story for so long that I was starting to think he was telling the truth.
SC: When are you due?
Me: Well *sniff*, it was supposed to be in June, but then there was so much blood and all I remember was screaming
SC: [/QUOTE]
For. The. Win.
Quoth Sheldonrs View PostLike they say, unless you see a baby actually coming out of a woman, don't ask her when she's due.
And now that I think about it, if you see the baby actually coming out of the woman, you wouldn't need to ask her when she was due, as the answer would be, quite literally, staring you in the face.
Quoth Marmalady View PostAnother good thing to do with the 'when are you due?' kind of remark (this is also fun if you ARE pregnant) is to fix the questioner with an agitated stare and say that actually you think you might be in labour right now....... Most people are scared witless about a woman giving birth in their presence, in case they might be called on to, you know, help in some way - watch 'em, they'll skedaddle so fast they'll leave scorch marks....
[stare at the guy, then after a pause, a sudden look of shocked surprise]
"Omigod! My water just broke! I NEED TO GET TO THE HOSPITAL RIGHT NOW!"
"The Customer Is Always Right...But The Bartender Decides Who Is Still A Customer."
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Quoth Jester View PostThe Law of Common Sense states that if you walk into a business with a product that they are likely to sell, you either bring with you the receipt from where you purchased it (likely in a bag from that store, or a generic bag as many liquor stores use), or you immediately let one of the staff know that you are walking in with that. I've done both, and never had a problem doing either. Why? Because I wasn't (A) an underaged kid trying to steal beer, or (B) an idiot.Any fool can piss on the floor. It takes a talented SC to shit on the ceiling.
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Quoth Jester View PostThe Law of Common Sense states that if you walk into a business with a product that they are likely to sell, you either bring with you the receipt from where you purchased it (likely in a bag from that store, or a generic bag as many liquor stores use), or you immediately let one of the staff know that you are walking in with that.
Likewise patterns; the smart ones will only bring in the empty envelope, or a copy of the back of the envelope, but more than a few bring in the entire pattern package.
In both cases, it's best to go to the cashier and show her that you're bringing stuff in. It's just basic common sense.I don't have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem.
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A page we can all agree with!
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