Cable Customers: Fact is Fiction & Fiction is Stupid

[Phone Jockey]

C: The cable line to my house is still lying across the road. I’m afraid that if someone yanks on the line, they will yank my TV through the ground & out of my house. (Because cartoons are real??)

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C: (to someone else) That bitch done hung up on me!
Me: Sir, I’m still here.
C: Oh, sorry mam. I didn’t mean to call you that, but DAMN! Happy Valentine’s day to you, mam!

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C: I can’t wait for the tech to get out here to fix my TV later tonight. Get him out now!! I have livestock & this is their lifeline!!

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C: I forgot about my bill & thankfully, the Lord woke me up & reminded me to pay it.

[Redbeard]

One of my favorites?
"You can't turn off my cable just because I haven't paid! that's against the law!"

[barainga]

C: I forgot about my bill & thankfully, the Lord woke me up & reminded me to pay it.

Render unto the cable company that which is the cable company's?

[Phone Jockey]

Render unto the cable company that which is the cable company's?

HAHA!! SO SAYETH THE LORD!

[sstabeler]

it would actually be in the spirit of that particular gospel, as well, funnily enough. ( the spirit of that gospel is that you should pay someone what you owe them, essentially) So yes, you could say that Jesus, on asked about paying for your cable, would say that.

as an aside, the person complaining about their livestock having a TV as their lifeline may actually have a point. the TV might not be the one that receives cable TV, they might have a TV set up as part of a CCTV system to monitor their livestock. ( yes, I know you probably can't fix the TV itself, but these aren't the mos intelligent customers...)

[Ironclad Alibi]

it would actually be in the spirit of that particular gospel, as well, funnily enough. ( the spirit of that gospel is that you should pay someone what you owe them, essentially) So yes, you could say that Jesus, on asked about paying for your cable, would say that.

From His Sermon on the Mall, as related by Paul in his Second Epistle to the Consumers:

Render unto the Cable Company that which is due them, for life without cable sucketh.

[Becks]

I have livestock & this is their lifeline!!

I know that if I were a barnyard animal or some such, I'd enjoy watching TV.

[Seraph]

C: I can’t wait for the tech to get out here to fix my TV later tonight. Get him out now!! I have livestock & this is their lifeline!!

I'm sorry. I just...this is all I can think of:

"....Them's some eenterehstin' caows there, Bob. Dey got dem teevees affixered to their insides, there."

[dalesys]

"....Them's some eenterehstin' caows there, Bob. Dey got dem teevees affixered to their insides, there."

Tele-Tubby cows!

[Seraph]

Tele-Tubby cows!

D: EXACTLY!!!!

[Cat Herder]

I have livestock & this is their lifeline!!

FO-O-O-OUR HU-U-UNDRE-E-ED CHA-A-ANNELS GOOOOD! TWOOO CHA-A-ANNELS BA-A-A-AD!

Orwells that end well.

*ducks*

[dalesys]

Orwells that end well.

That quack was uncalled for.

[protege]

I know that if I were a barnyard animal or some such, I'd enjoy watching TV.

I've had kitties that love watching TV. Kitty would spend hours sitting on my lap watching various shows. He also seemed to enjoy the quidditch scenes in Harry Potter. Something about small things flying around seemed to amuse him. Also, some fishies seem to enjoy TV as well. Maybe the movement? But, whatever it was, when I still had the fish tank at my parents, most evenings, the fish were always in the corner closest to the TV. I guess they got tired of swimming

[RealUnimportant]

Tele-Tubby cows!

Milky-Wilky, Creamsy, Kah-kah, Mo....

[Lovecats]

Tele-Tubby cows!

There's a Dirty Jobs episode where they had like a window in the cows stomache. It was, I think, some kind of research thing. It's been awhile since I've seen that one.