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So on the paper that tells me if I have any changes I'll have messages left from customers occasionally. Normally they're "please hang paper on doorknob" or, "place on porch" or the like. However, today we had "please contact customer at *phone number*" I asked my boss if he knew what it was about, since usually any customer contact goes through him first (paper thieves, etc) but he said no, it'd gone directly to my paper. So I get home, wait until a reasonable time, then call.
Me:
SC:
*rings*
SC: "Hello...?"
Me: "Hello is this ____ at"
SC: *interrupts, shrieking* "I CAN'T UNDERSTAND YOU"
Me: *adjusts cell* "Can you understand me" *click*
*looks at phone to see if it dropped the call. No, it was ended from the other side.*
*calls again*
Me: "hello?"
SC: *click*
Me *twitch*
Goes downstairs, gets land-line to make absolutely certain that there is no way it's my phone.
*calls, gets answering machine* Starts to leave message when I hear the call waiting sound immediately after this from that number*
*picks up*
Me: "Hello, is this...*
SC: *shrieks into phone* "WHO IS THIS?!?*
Me: "This is Opalin, your DDN carrier, is this ____?"
SC: "Yes, you kept hanging up on me!!!"
Me: "Not from what I could"
SC: "YOUR PHONE LIES!"
Me: "...."
SC: "I didn't hang up! Your machine is lying!"
Me: *moving on* "Anyway, you left a message saying you wanted to contact me?"
SC: "I... oh, yes! Please make sure my paper is in the EXACT MIDDLE of my porch. Sometimes it's on top of the swing."
Me: "okay, you have a nice day..."
SC: "EXACT MIDDLE!" *click*
What I wanted to say, but didn't, was "Could you please also ask the man who was smoking in short shorts on your porch the other day to please wear more clothing? It would help my early morning sanity and will to get close to your porch"
Me:
SC:
*rings*
SC: "Hello...?"
Me: "Hello is this ____ at"
SC: *interrupts, shrieking* "I CAN'T UNDERSTAND YOU"
Me: *adjusts cell* "Can you understand me" *click*
*looks at phone to see if it dropped the call. No, it was ended from the other side.*
*calls again*
Me: "hello?"
SC: *click*
Me *twitch*
Goes downstairs, gets land-line to make absolutely certain that there is no way it's my phone.
*calls, gets answering machine* Starts to leave message when I hear the call waiting sound immediately after this from that number*
*picks up*
Me: "Hello, is this...*
SC: *shrieks into phone* "WHO IS THIS?!?*
Me: "This is Opalin, your DDN carrier, is this ____?"
SC: "Yes, you kept hanging up on me!!!"
Me: "Not from what I could"
SC: "YOUR PHONE LIES!"
Me: "...."
SC: "I didn't hang up! Your machine is lying!"
Me:
*moving on* "Anyway, you left a message saying you wanted to contact me?"SC: "I... oh, yes! Please make sure my paper is in the EXACT MIDDLE of my porch. Sometimes it's on top of the swing."
Me: "okay, you have a nice day..."
SC: "EXACT MIDDLE!" *click*
What I wanted to say, but didn't, was "Could you please also ask the man who was smoking in short shorts on your porch the other day to please wear more clothing? It would help my early morning sanity and will to get close to your porch"
I actually lol'ed out loud at this. 
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