The Neverending Journey

[downforit2008]

Advice when buying a used car:

LISTEN to any advice they have to give about the vehicle! They've had the vehicle a lot longer and when they're transferring the title to you, they're also giving away the responsibilities of the vehicle! Don't go running a 1971 Dodge camper flat-out because you "want to see how fast it can go" when you were advised to keep it at 60 max and to check the radiator! And all because of your stupid mistakes, don't expect the former owner to pay for everything!

It's a piece of advice I got ten years ago when I got my first car, but sadly, very few seem to even remember this advice.

[XCashier]

1. He sent his wife, ALONE, on this fool's errand.
2. He was willing to let her sit in IL babysitting a busted old $1300 van rather than trying to arrange to get her safely home.

Doesn't sound like much of a 'loving spouse' to me.

That's what struck me, too. Who does this to his own wife? Even if she was a capable auto mechanic, she's travelling thousands of miles all by her lonesome with a lot of cash on her. Too many horrible things could've happened.

I'm hoping she eventually dumped the chump, for her own sake.

[ADeMartino]

That's what struck me, too. Who does this to his own wife? Even if she was a capable auto mechanic, she's travelling thousands of miles all by her lonesome with a lot of cash on her. Too many horrible things could've happened.

I'm hoping she eventually dumped the chump, for her own sake.

At this point, I'm not even sure she got home safely (it's been about two weeks now since the van left here). I should have followed my instinct, put her right back on the bus, and sent her home empty-handed. I'd have been willing to pay for her return trip rather than been involved in this debacle. If he'd told me he was sending his wife, I'd have flat out told him no. It would have been different if HE'D come to do this like he said he would, or even if they had come together to tag-team the thing home (you know, one drives, the other rests, trade off every couple of hours, no sleep-deprivation, no need to drive fast, hell, you can make a mini-vacation out of it. But her, alone.... no. This should have never happened. Damn him for thinking it up. Damn him for involving me in it. And damn myself for not putting the kibosh on it when I had the chance.

[manybellsdown]

Honestly, he's probably just as bad as his wife. I'd bet he'd have driven the thing into the ground even faster and still had no idea how to repair it.

[KatherineB]

Although this is sexist, it's also sending a woman alone to meet a complete stranger who may or may not have anything to do with the 'deal' they have made on the internet. In the same situation, I would not have gone alone even if I was a man!

[HYHYBT]

It wouldn't have done any good to ship it; they'd just have driven it that way the first time they went anywhere and blown it up then anyway.

[Opalin]

As a sane fem, what you said wasn't sexist. While we'd LOVE it to be the case, women simply do attract more attention than men when they're alone. This isn't a matter of if you are or aren't capable of doing something if someone attacks you, you're putting yourself at risk, and there's always someone who's more powerful than you, doesn't matter who or what gender you are.

On that note, it sounds like both of them were equally insane. Why exactly were they so determined to get the car this way...? Did they say?

[Sleepwalker]

Good god, you can feel it when you push 85 even in a regular sedan, and when it starts to overheat it is no joke. A 40 year old van? When it started overheating, it must have felt like crash landing a biplane.

[RealUnimportant]

I've bought vehicles that old sight-unseen, and driven them home, but I took it easy until I learned the quirks of the vehicle - one of the cars I did this with hadn't been on the road for 4 years, so I couldn't even ask the previous owner about any special concerns.

I bet the wife didn't even get to use a motel; after all, they had the van just sitting there...

[ADeMartino]

Although this is sexist, it's also sending a woman alone to meet a complete stranger who may or may not have anything to do with the 'deal' they have made on the internet. In the same situation, I would not have gone alone even if I was a man!

I hadn't really thought about that; but you're absolutely right - I very well COULD have been one of the dangers of a situation like this. And I agree that it would have been ill-advised for ANYONE, regardless of gender, to attempt this without considerably more preparation than was demonstrated.

I take (gentle) exception to the accusation of being sexist, though. I was not raised to look at women as 'the weaker sex.' I'm very aware of what women can accomplish without a man's help, and have nothing but respect for them. In short, I am NOT the sexist you think I am, though I can certainly see why you'd believe that.

I can't really defend myself here without straying into fratching territory. If you'd like to discuss this point further, I'll be happy to do so in the appropriate forum, or by private message if you wish.

[ADeMartino]

Good god, you can feel it when you push 85 even in a regular sedan, and when it starts to overheat it is no joke. A 40 year old van? When it started overheating, it must have felt like crash landing a biplane.

A biplane would have been high-tech in comparison. It was one of the 'charms' of owning this thing - it was so retro-tech and primitive in comparison to the other things I've driven in the past 30+ years. If driven sanely, it would do the job. Its engineering shortcomings could be felt quickly once you passed the 65-70 mph range, though.

I mean, 1971. DRUM brakes on all four wheels. Breaker-point ignition. A fuel system made up of a mechanical fuel pump and a CARBURETOR. An old-school THREE-SPEED automatic transmission. No electronic engine management. Hell, the only electronics it really had when it was new was the (AM-only!) radio.

[ADeMartino]

As a sane fem, what you said wasn't sexist. While we'd LOVE it to be the case, women simply do attract more attention than men when they're alone. This isn't a matter of if you are or aren't capable of doing something if someone attacks you, you're putting yourself at risk, and there's always someone who's more powerful than you, doesn't matter who or what gender you are.

On that note, it sounds like both of them were equally insane. Why exactly were they so determined to get the car this way...? Did they say?

Thank you for the vote of 'non-sexist'. As for why they were so determined to motor this thing home under its own power...... I can only assume he didn't want to throw the $$$$ for a transport service. As I've indicated in a follow-up post, I've done stupid stuff like this myself, but I only did so with a great deal of prep work and the acceptance that what I was doing was, for lack of a more delicate term, batshit nuts.

[Jester]

Fellas, don't send a woman on an errand like this. I don't care how independent and capable she is, a woman traveling alone is a target for all the wrong things.

Ignoring the potential dangers for just a moment (bear with me), I have to say that my stepsister would be far more qualified to handle a task than me. She was raised with her father and brother, both knowing their way around cars, and she could almost certainly deal admirably with anything that went wrong with the vehicle.

Me, I could change a tire. And...that's about it.

I understand what your point was, don't get me wrong. Just saying that sometimes the best man for a job really is a woman.

Although this is sexist, it's also sending a woman alone to meet a complete stranger who may or may not have anything to do with the 'deal' they have made on the internet. In the same situation, I would not have gone alone even if I was a man!

Quoted for absolute truth. These people clearly didn't have the brains or common sense of a door hinge.

[raudf]

Gender has nothing to do with it. It's common sense when dealing with auction or classified ad sites to never show up by yourself. Too many things can happen, like the "seller" being a con artist who would mind adding armed robbery to his/her list of felonies.

Besides, it's even better if you have a wing man in case the vehicle does break down. It's hard being stranded on the side of the road by yourself. Plus, having another set of eyes means the mechanically inclined partner can work on the vehicle without having to stop and answer the questions, "Is everything alright? Need a lift? Need Police called?" Not to mention to play tool fetch!

*looks at site title* Right... common sense.. A thing so rare it might as well be labeled a super power.

[LillFilly]

It's a shame they had to ruin a nice old car though.