A Customer Walks Into A Bar. (In My Life, This is Usually the Start of a Joke...)

[lineswine]

Heh, here in the UK (especially the North), we wear tee-shirts only until it is into the late 30's F.
The Dutch etc. think we are nuts.

[Jester]

Ok, now let's be fair, they are probably wearing light clothing that they wouldn't wear at home in similar conditions (40-50 degree weather). Most of us Northerners start wearing sweatshirts, and sweaters, when the temps get that low. Not something you are likely to pack on a trip to Key West.

True, but these are often people from the same regions where people will hear about the forties and fifties at other times of the year and boast, "Oh, in the winter in [Northern City], if it gets up to those temps, we're walking around in shorts and t-shirts."

Just saying.

By the way, apparently today was Douchebag Tuesday. My day started out with a bunch of idiots who ran up a $40 tab and left me one bright shiny quarter, because I gave them "attitude" by asking them if they wanted to go cups when they made it clear they were done ordering drinks. While I did get some decent people in, the day as a whole didn't get all that much better, and I was uncharacteristically cranky all day.

Meh.

[BroSCFischer]

T"Oh, in the winter in [Northern City], if it gets up to those temps, we're walking around in shorts and t-shirts."

Unless they were freakin' elves or penguins, they are idiots.

SC

[Jester]

I won't argue that they are idiots. But there must be a lot of idiots up north, because this is a very common thing I hear. Seriously.

[Jay 2K Winger]

I won't argue that they are idiots. But there must be a lot of idiots up north, because this is a very common thing I hear. Seriously.

Brings to mind a quote by Jeff Foxworthy.

He was talking about a show he was doing up in Minnesota or maybe one of the Dakotas, and this fan invited him to go ice fishing with them.

Foxworthy: "Thanks, but I don't think I wanna be that cold."
Them: "Oh, it's not that cold. We build a big bonfire out on the lake."
Foxworthy: "...and you call us stupid in the South?"

[Ironclad Alibi]

Having kids does not prove you're of age. A twelve-year-old can have a kid.

The youngest mother on record was 5 years old. Wikipedia has a list of over 200 mothers under the age of 12.

[Jester]

Last Thursday was, apparently, Stupid Thursday. Cause I had some winners, both customers and coworkers alike. But the MVP of Stupid Thursday hands down was this one woman that came in.

She sat down, ordered a drink, and then after I served her the drink, she ordered a bowl of soup. Not french onion or anything that required any cooking or baking time to serve...just one of our other soups. So, I rang it in, and as I was not exceptionally busy and we don't have a food runner on during the day, I immediately went back into the kitchen, got the soup, and brought it out to her. To which she said, "Wow! That was fast! Did you guys already have it made?"



Why, yes ma'am, I'm afraid we did. Clearly we are not like the swanky restaurants you frequent that apparently make every bowl of soup to order.

Seriously, what kind of world do you live in that you are shocked that SOUP is already made and ready to go? It's SOUP. It pretty much HAS to be premade, or it's going to SUCK BALLS. It's fucking soup!

And that, my friends, is why she was the undisputed MVP of Stupid Thursday.

[Victory Sabre]

Soup, unless it's in a can, takes time to make, and has to be pre-made.

Yeah, she's an award winner for sure.

[Jester]

Another one from yesterday, though not in the class of the Soup Lady:

HER: "How many coconut shrimp come in an order?"
ME: [straight-faced] "Six or half a dozen, your choice."
HERE: [pondering the options for several moments] "...Just six, please."

Yes, I use that line a lot. Yes, most people get it. Even the ones that don't get it immediately do after a few moments, and a moment. This one....didn't.

[EricKei]

What wonderful irony...I went to eat at ...er...Multi-national Home of Flapjacks today and saw potato/bacon/cheese soup on the menu -- seeing as how I needed something to warm me up and it's one of my fave soups of all time, I ordered some and placed the main order, as well. The soup came out half an hour later (strike 1), at the same time as all the rest of the food (strike 2 -- it's an app, dammit), and, of course, it was room temperature at best (strike 3)...I wonder if I can give a strike 4 for the taste? It was...not good. I would describe the flavor as being almost but not entirely unlike potato soup -- and I sure as hell didn't see nor taste any bacon in there. I've had better soups in the sorts of dives where you need to check to make sure the flatware is clean before you eat with them >_>

On the plus side, I had their baconator-ish omelet and it ROCKED.

[AmbrosiaWriter]

ID's, Temperatures, and Soup

I'm going to revert us back to ID conversation for just a brief moment: *CRANK*

I always have my ID out and ready whenever I'm buying (or going someplace) that I expect or even just MIGHT be carded for. I mean, I'm 22, but I've been mistaken for a 16/17 year old. So I expect to be carded, I have my ID already in my hand before you can ask me. I don't go out drinking a lot, but when I buy booze (mm... butterscotch schnappes and cream sode...) to drink at home, you bet that card is out in my hand.

Okay: *UNCRANK!*

Hehe, for some reason I adjust very, very quickly to climates/local temperatures. It's been uncharacteristically hot where I am, yet I'm only bothered by it for maybe 15 minutes before all of a sudden "Whoop! I don't even feel it anymore." Unless there is something like a wind or AC blow RIGHT on me. Then I can feel it. I wonder why all these people always get tweeky about the weather when we have things like the MYSTERIOUS AND MAGICAL INTERWEBICAL THING. That can give them a fairly good estimate of what the temperature/weather is going to be like.

COM'MON PEOPLE! Use those smart phones that you spend so much money on to be able to play angry birds when something is taking 1.2343582 seconds too long to occur for you.

On the topic of Soup:

mmm....soup....

[Jester]

It was...not good. I would describe the flavor as being almost but not entirely unlike potato soup -- and I sure as hell didn't see nor taste any bacon in there. I've had better soups in the sorts of dives where you need to check to make sure the flatware is clean before you eat with them.

Hmmm, I wonder what the problem was?

I went to eat at ...er...Multi-national Home of Flapjacks

Oh, yeah, that would do it.

[EricKei]

There was an upside to it -- it was free. A roomie had a coupon for a free meal and didn't wanna go alone, so I got treated.

[cattaur]

http://www.somethingpositive.net/sp07112012.shtml

thought this might make you smile.

[Jester]

That resulted in a deep, thoughtful, evil smile from me as I contemplated the possibilities........