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Alright, I'm breaking this up into The Smiles, The Angries, and The Longs.
One of my co-workers has a baby. He brought her out to the side where we had just installed our mist-sprayer to combat the heatwave. She flinched, then stretched out her arms and squealed.
I was ringing up ice cream for a family. One kid reluctantly put their ice cream on the table, then pushed my scanner in my direction.
Customers sometimes attempt to ring up their own stuff. They tend to fail miserably. Especially with ice cream, because ice cream packagers love to make their barcodes small, uneven, and wrap around the packages. It makes me giggle to watch them struggle.
Guy: Can I have service?
Me: Yes.
Guy: ....
Me: We don't really have departments here-
Guy: Oh. Well, I picked up my boat, and it appears to be missing a few things.
Me: What things?
Guy: The bilge plug and the battery.
Me: Oh! Important things.
Guy: (laughs) Yes.
Me: I'll grab P, we'll see if he knows what's up.
I put him on hold and get P.
P: Well, that explains a mystery on my end, as your battery is sitting on my charger.
A family with two dogs (one with wrinkles, and a baby golden retriever) waited twenty minutes for our launch. They were super-patient, but after fifteen minutes, their incredibly behaved puppy started whining in confusion. Why?
There was a couple that spent at least a half hour arguing in the launch. I could hear the guy exclaim to go right, her exclaim to go left, and at one point, it sounded like the guy got hit as I heard a loud, male: "AUGH!"
The best part was, for the majority of this, the boat was in the water. All they had to do was unhook it from the trailer and push it off.
This couple's dog had no cares to give, however. It was having the time of its life. It swam in the launch, it got a treat, it got pet, it played with the family's dogs...
A woman comes in as we're recovering from the wave that will be mentioned in The Longs. She gives my coworker her name and explains she picked up her boat in the fall, and it had no gas tank. Note that it is nearly August.
My coworker goes to get P, who is the only manager right now. She is having trouble finding him. I call upstairs, and there is no response.
Me: What's your name again? While we're waiting I'll look up your storage ticket, see if there's anything noted there.
AW: Angry Witch. (the tone was hard to explain, but it irritated me)
Me: Alright.
I go to put it in our system when P arrives, and does the same thing.
AW: I brought my tank in because it wasn't working right, and you guys kept it.
P: Alright, here it notes that your boat didn't have a gas tank when it came in.
AW: I don't see how you thought it was your place to keep my gas tank.
P: Our ticket here says you didn't have a gas tank. It also says that we loaned you our gas tank for a week, and didn't get it back until the end of the season when we winterized your boat.
AW: I know the boat had a gas tank when I brought it in.
P: It wasn't your gas tank.
AW: Our gas tank was on our boat-
P: Look, if you really think we have your tank it would be back here.
He leads her back to our shop.
AW: No. I don't see it.
P: If you really want a junk tank you're free to take any of these. They're going to get thrown away, but your boat won't work on them.
AW: I want a working tank.
P: Our new ones are xx.
AW: I'll shop around.
This guy called and called throughout the day. It got to the point where I sincerely wished he had just taken a minute to think up all of his questions, write them down, and talk to us then.
J: Yes? We have ladders...
Guy: Cool.
Me: *deposit spiel*
Guy: Alright. Cool.
Me: Yes. We only have one out, so you get free pick essentially.
Guy: Cool. We'll pick when we get there.
Me: No, because you're renting in the afternoon, and we don't watch like a hawk for when you come back in. So long as the boat is there in the morning, we don't like, watch the security cameras to see exactly when you came in.
Guy: *repeats what I said to background* So we just have to put it in the same spot we found it?
Me: No.
Me: Yup! We give dogs treats.
Guy: Cool. I had a question, but I forgot.
Me: Well, maybe it'll come back to you.
Guy: Yeah. I'll call back when it does.
Me: It's good. The storm went south of us.
Guy: Is the sun out?
Me: yup.
When he arrives, I end up getting him booked on one of our Class A boats.(specialty boats. They are either very large, very nice (comparatively) have a radio, or a live well.)
Me: Alright, so what are you looking for in a boat?
Guy: Your best one.
Me: Alright. So your choices are the red one, or this one straight ahead.
Guy: That one? (points to one on other side of dock, which isn't even our boat)
Me: No. This one. With the burgundy top.
I stare at a boat for a moment, then add:
Me: Oh yes, that green one is also ours.
They walk up to the burgundy topped one.
Me: This is our best boat.
Guy: So is there a boat out that's better?
Me: No, literally this is our best boat. The green one over there has better carpet but worse furniture.
I have to assure him several times that the burgundy one is the best. One of our rentals pulls back in to be checked out, as they are done for the day, and he asks if that boat is ours.
They agree to get the burgundy one, and I get the paperwork set up. I give him the information slip that tells him where to leave the keys, and he almost signs it.
Once we get in the boat, it is sluggish to start, having not been used all day. Since we are in a middle of a wave, the guy who knows how to fast-throttle the boat is busy.
I'm told to check to see if the gas bulb needs pumped. I lift up the cover on the boat, and it falls over the edge. I catch it by the lift loop, holding it with one finger. It took three employees to lift it out of the water. (I'm a weakling, one was pretty sure she'd fall in from the angle she was at, and the third one got it.)
I run inside. When I come out, the boat is started, and I tell the guy if he has any more problems to call the numbers on the sheet he has crumpled in his pocket.
Holy frick.
If I answer the phone, we're open. Just sayin'. If you were curious, we don't intend to pick up the phone, answer it, then refuse service.
Smiles
Kids
One of my co-workers has a baby. He brought her out to the side where we had just installed our mist-sprayer to combat the heatwave. She flinched, then stretched out her arms and squealed.
I was ringing up ice cream for a family. One kid reluctantly put their ice cream on the table, then pushed my scanner in my direction.
Ringing it up
Customers sometimes attempt to ring up their own stuff. They tend to fail miserably. Especially with ice cream, because ice cream packagers love to make their barcodes small, uneven, and wrap around the packages. It makes me giggle to watch them struggle.
Important things
Guy: Can I have service?
Me: Yes.
Guy: ....
Me: We don't really have departments here-
Guy: Oh. Well, I picked up my boat, and it appears to be missing a few things.
Me: What things?
Guy: The bilge plug and the battery.
Me: Oh! Important things.
Guy: (laughs) Yes.
Me: I'll grab P, we'll see if he knows what's up.
I put him on hold and get P.
P: Well, that explains a mystery on my end, as your battery is sitting on my charger.
The Angries
Launch-hogs
A family with two dogs (one with wrinkles, and a baby golden retriever) waited twenty minutes for our launch. They were super-patient, but after fifteen minutes, their incredibly behaved puppy started whining in confusion. Why?
There was a couple that spent at least a half hour arguing in the launch. I could hear the guy exclaim to go right, her exclaim to go left, and at one point, it sounded like the guy got hit as I heard a loud, male: "AUGH!"
The best part was, for the majority of this, the boat was in the water. All they had to do was unhook it from the trailer and push it off.
This couple's dog had no cares to give, however. It was having the time of its life. It swam in the launch, it got a treat, it got pet, it played with the family's dogs...
What's mine is yours...
A woman comes in as we're recovering from the wave that will be mentioned in The Longs. She gives my coworker her name and explains she picked up her boat in the fall, and it had no gas tank. Note that it is nearly August.
My coworker goes to get P, who is the only manager right now. She is having trouble finding him. I call upstairs, and there is no response.
Me: What's your name again? While we're waiting I'll look up your storage ticket, see if there's anything noted there.
AW: Angry Witch. (the tone was hard to explain, but it irritated me)
Me: Alright.
I go to put it in our system when P arrives, and does the same thing.
AW: I brought my tank in because it wasn't working right, and you guys kept it.
P: Alright, here it notes that your boat didn't have a gas tank when it came in.
AW: I don't see how you thought it was your place to keep my gas tank.
P: Our ticket here says you didn't have a gas tank. It also says that we loaned you our gas tank for a week, and didn't get it back until the end of the season when we winterized your boat.
AW: I know the boat had a gas tank when I brought it in.
P: It wasn't your gas tank.
AW: Our gas tank was on our boat-
P: Look, if you really think we have your tank it would be back here.
He leads her back to our shop.
AW: No. I don't see it.
P: If you really want a junk tank you're free to take any of these. They're going to get thrown away, but your boat won't work on them.
AW: I want a working tank.
P: Our new ones are xx.
AW: I'll shop around.
The Longs
Forethought
This guy called and called throughout the day. It got to the point where I sincerely wished he had just taken a minute to think up all of his questions, write them down, and talk to us then.
Call 1
Guy: Can you get off the boat?J: Yes? We have ladders...
Guy: Cool.
Two hours later
Call 2
Guy: So how do deposits work?Call 2
Me: *deposit spiel*
Guy: Alright. Cool.
One hour later
Call 3
Guy: Do you have boats available? Call 3
Me: Yes. We only have one out, so you get free pick essentially.
Guy: Cool. We'll pick when we get there.
Half hour later
Call 4
Guy: So do you get a discount if you come after 2 for a half-day rental?Call 4
Me: No, because you're renting in the afternoon, and we don't watch like a hawk for when you come back in. So long as the boat is there in the morning, we don't like, watch the security cameras to see exactly when you came in.
Guy: *repeats what I said to background* So we just have to put it in the same spot we found it?
Me: No.
Hour later
Call 5
Guy: Do you allow dogs?Call 5
Me: Yup! We give dogs treats.
Guy: Cool. I had a question, but I forgot.
Me: Well, maybe it'll come back to you.
Guy: Yeah. I'll call back when it does.
Not even a minute later...
Call 6
Guy: Hey, what's the weather up there?Me: It's good. The storm went south of us.
Guy: Is the sun out?
Me: yup.
Half hour later
When he arrives, I end up getting him booked on one of our Class A boats.(specialty boats. They are either very large, very nice (comparatively) have a radio, or a live well.)
Me: Alright, so what are you looking for in a boat?
Guy: Your best one.
Me: Alright. So your choices are the red one, or this one straight ahead.
Guy: That one? (points to one on other side of dock, which isn't even our boat)
Me: No. This one. With the burgundy top.
I stare at a boat for a moment, then add:
Me: Oh yes, that green one is also ours.
They walk up to the burgundy topped one.
Me: This is our best boat.
Guy: So is there a boat out that's better?
Me: No, literally this is our best boat. The green one over there has better carpet but worse furniture.
I have to assure him several times that the burgundy one is the best. One of our rentals pulls back in to be checked out, as they are done for the day, and he asks if that boat is ours.
They agree to get the burgundy one, and I get the paperwork set up. I give him the information slip that tells him where to leave the keys, and he almost signs it.
Once we get in the boat, it is sluggish to start, having not been used all day. Since we are in a middle of a wave, the guy who knows how to fast-throttle the boat is busy.
I'm told to check to see if the gas bulb needs pumped. I lift up the cover on the boat, and it falls over the edge. I catch it by the lift loop, holding it with one finger. It took three employees to lift it out of the water. (I'm a weakling, one was pretty sure she'd fall in from the angle she was at, and the third one got it.)
I run inside. When I come out, the boat is started, and I tell the guy if he has any more problems to call the numbers on the sheet he has crumpled in his pocket.
Holy frick.
Bonus peeve:
If I answer the phone, we're open. Just sayin'. If you were curious, we don't intend to pick up the phone, answer it, then refuse service.
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