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Oh the Fun

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  • Oh the Fun

    A couple of weeks ago, I had to work 8 days in a row ontop of now 5 days in a row. So naturally there are so many SCs or the like I had to deal with. Here are the big ones that stand out:

    Attack of the Catpiss
    I knew it was true and was relieved to never experience it, till this month. Guy comes in, goes up to me and says "You look nice for your girlfriend" . I tell him I don't have a girlfriend and he walks away. Next thing I know, I smell something awful. About 5 minutes later he comes back to me and apologizes, "Well, I assumed you were a lesbian and had a girlfriend" I am so out that I don't care who knows, so I said "Yes, I am a lesbian and I am single". At this point he was so close to me I was about to gag. Smell of catpiss was horrible. And he had crumbs on his beard. My manager (I like to call her Cool Manager or CM) gave me the oddest look when he walked away. I almost put my head in the fragrance case.

    I Smell a Scam
    I was working the front register and some chick was standing outside. Then came a car and she grabbed some merch to return. I knew something was fishy but I had my manager deal with it. He turned it down. I mean, it was a bag full of expensive stuff. He told me I was smart to get him.

    The Grouchy Lady
    This lady just boggles my mind. I hate the front cause of her. I really do. She always buys 2 rootbeers in the bottle and wants them double bagged flat. No problem. But her other items, I started bagging and she turned into a major bitch.
    GL: I want these bagged in a specific way
    Me: So, you want these ontop of the soda?
    GL: I want the soda bagged flat.
    rinse and repeat
    GL: Yes I do.
    Me: Thats what I was trying to ask you ma'am.
    GL: Oh

    I could write a book on her

    I Don't Give a Flying Fuck
    SC: You know, the only reason why I am buying this here is because I have this card? *a store credit card from returns*. Its cheaper at such and such.
    Me: Ok
    SC: *look on face like I should be thanking him/her for getting it there than the other place*

    Come In Your Damn Self
    Or at least rip off the packaging of what you want. Don't send in your husband with nothing but a cheap ass cell phone. I was with another customer when he asked if I could help. I told him I would be a moment and he goes on the phone and said "I am waiting for her to finish with another customer... No, it will be a minute". Bad things to come. Guy got so confused and confused me, which got me yelled at on the phone. He said something about puppy pads and she goes "No, not puppy pads. I want adult diapers". And this started a whole thing-

    Me: I won't know what you want until I see the item. They all are different sizes and prices *shes also giving me false info, which is more difficult to handle*
    Her: No, no no. I have been shopping here for x amount of years. That is not right
    rinse and repeat
    Her: I want the manager
    Me: *walks up to pharmacy counter so they can page CM (thankfully she was on duty, thats her department)*

    Too bad I didn't think about it at the time, shoulda got her first.



    I think thats it for now. God I hate people.
    Last edited by cashierbex; 07-27-2012, 04:01 AM.

  • #2
    Scammer is obvious scammer.
    We have people come into my store all the time with somewhat expensive items to return. Of course they don't have receipts.

    I've been lucky *knocks on wood* that I haven't had too many SC's since I transferred.
    Driver Picks the Music, Shotgun Shuts His Cakehole.
    Supernatural 9-13-05 to forever

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    • #3
      Oh man, Catpiss man... beyond creepy. He reminds me of Mr. Twit, in the book by Ronald Dahl. Guh-guh-gross!
      My Writing Blog -Updated 05/06/2013
      It's so I can get ideas out of my head, I decided to put it in a blog in case people are bored or are curious as to the (many) things in progress.

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      • #4
        There have been numerous sightings of creeps like him across the internets for years, and with accuracy that would impress even the FBI profilers, they always describe the same person to a "T"

        Hairy, leery, attracted to young female staff, makes inappropriate comments and leaves with a waft of cat piss behind him like a pheromone trail, thus giving him his nickname.

        It's amazing that there's a whole subculture of these guys, which only proves that the strange set of circumstance that creates them, is sadly, repeatable.
        - They say nothing good happens at 2AM, they're right, I happen at 2AM.

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        • #5
          Quoth cashierbex View Post
          The Grouchy Lady
          This lady just boggles my mind. I hate the front cause of her. I really do. She always buys 2 rootbeers in the bottle and wants them double bagged flat. No problem. But her other items, I started bagging and she turned into a major bitch.
          GL: I want these bagged in a specific way
          Me: So, you want these ontop of the soda?
          GL: I want the soda flat.
          rinse and repeat
          GL: Yes I do.
          Me: Thats what I was trying to ask you ma'am.
          GL: Oh
          Smart-alec response: Are you aware that brand, like virtually all soda, is carbonated? If you want it flat, I'd suggest leaving it on the kitchen counter for a few hours with the cap removed.
          Any fool can piss on the floor. It takes a talented SC to shit on the ceiling.

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          • #6
            I always do this. Bagged flat . This is what happens when I post with no sleep.

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            • #7
              You left out one detail on catpiss man.

              As he walks away he will mutter that all the girls out there will not go out with a he-man like him because they are all lesbians! It is always the women's fault that they can't see what a great catch he is!

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              • #8
                Quoth earl colby pottinger View Post
                You left out one detail on catpiss man.

                As he walks away he will mutter that all the girls out there will not go out with a he-man like him because they are all lesbians! It is always the women's fault that they can't see what a great catch he is!
                Ironically, this time he actually DID get a lesbian....

                Also, how do we know this is a subculture? For all we know, this could be Santa in the off season. He still has the jolly one's capability to be everywhere almost at once but the Christmas season must cause some kind of Jeckyll/Hyde transformation in him....

                Y'know what... Ignore my mad ramblings. That's too depressing a thought.
                Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read. -Groucho Marx

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