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I am told today is a holiday. "Labor Day," they call it. More like "Everybody Go Out To The Swamp And Buy Patio Furniture Day."
Why, you ask? Because final markdowns were taken on our remaining stock of patio furniture. Result: patio tables and chairs flying out the doors at 90% off, and with a few more nice days left to enjoy it, why not take advantage? I figure when I return to work tomorrow, there will either be no more patio furniture in the back room, or we'll be down to a few chairs I can just toss out on the salesfloor.
Of course, we have other items on sale. Such as glider recliners for inside the house. While doing other things, I hear a page for customer assistance to the furniture department.
It's an older lady and her son, who has Down Syndrome or some other form of mental handicap. Lady wants to know how the back of the chair can be locked and I reach underneath the seat and reveal the lever that can be pulled up to lock the back into place. This results in the purchase of two glider recliners--one for the lady and one for her son.
I don't take the call for the carryout, but get recruited to help with it by the co-worker who did. We arrive at the front of the store to find the lady has pulled up to the kerb in her....Honda Accord.
Co-worker and I:
Lady:
At this moment, the son looks back from the front seat, sees the two large, boxed recliners on our flatbed cart, and exclaims "HOLY BALLS!"
Lady: (loudly scolds her son)
Co-worker and I:
Lord, I apologize, but there is just something irredeemably funny about a guy with Down Syndrome hollering "HOLY BALLS!" across the parking lot.
Lady has us see if we can fit one of the recliners in the trunk. It doesn't fit. It just sort of hangs on the edge of the garbage-strewn trunk.
Next she drags son out of the car and has us see if we can fit a recliner in front seat. It doesn't fit. Not even when she puts the seat all the way back. The issue is we can't even get it in the door.
Then she has us try to cram the recliner in the back seat. By some miracle, we manage to bend time and space and fit both recliners back there!
JK! We can't even fit one back there. Again, the issue is the door doesn't open wide enough for us to get the box into the back seat.
Lady then wonders if she can buy some tie-downs and we can stack both recliners on the car roof, and then tie them down with the tie-downs. I start to wonder if the son is actually the smart one in this family.
Finally, lady remembers she has a bungee cord in the trunk and digs through the garbage to find it. I prop the box on the trunk while she tries to get the bungee cord around it and the trunk tied down.
The cord snaps and nearly hits her in the face. Startled, she quickly stands up straight--and bashes her head on the corner of the trunk lid.
Lady: OWW!
Co-worker and I: (trying really really damn hard to not pee our pants laughing.)
Finally I am forced to remove one of the recliners from the box, set it inside the trunk as best I can, and I get the bungee cord around it and the trunk down so she can drive it home. As an added courtesy, I flatten the box and set it in the back seat so she can return the chair, if needed. The other chair is brought back inside the store so she can pick it up later.
This takes about 20 minutes of my life I will never get back. At least it was entertaining.
Why, you ask? Because final markdowns were taken on our remaining stock of patio furniture. Result: patio tables and chairs flying out the doors at 90% off, and with a few more nice days left to enjoy it, why not take advantage? I figure when I return to work tomorrow, there will either be no more patio furniture in the back room, or we'll be down to a few chairs I can just toss out on the salesfloor.
Of course, we have other items on sale. Such as glider recliners for inside the house. While doing other things, I hear a page for customer assistance to the furniture department.
It's an older lady and her son, who has Down Syndrome or some other form of mental handicap. Lady wants to know how the back of the chair can be locked and I reach underneath the seat and reveal the lever that can be pulled up to lock the back into place. This results in the purchase of two glider recliners--one for the lady and one for her son.
I don't take the call for the carryout, but get recruited to help with it by the co-worker who did. We arrive at the front of the store to find the lady has pulled up to the kerb in her....Honda Accord.
Co-worker and I:
Lady:
At this moment, the son looks back from the front seat, sees the two large, boxed recliners on our flatbed cart, and exclaims "HOLY BALLS!"
Lady: (loudly scolds her son)
Co-worker and I:
Lord, I apologize, but there is just something irredeemably funny about a guy with Down Syndrome hollering "HOLY BALLS!" across the parking lot.
Lady has us see if we can fit one of the recliners in the trunk. It doesn't fit. It just sort of hangs on the edge of the garbage-strewn trunk.
Next she drags son out of the car and has us see if we can fit a recliner in front seat. It doesn't fit. Not even when she puts the seat all the way back. The issue is we can't even get it in the door.
Then she has us try to cram the recliner in the back seat. By some miracle, we manage to bend time and space and fit both recliners back there!
JK! We can't even fit one back there. Again, the issue is the door doesn't open wide enough for us to get the box into the back seat.
Lady then wonders if she can buy some tie-downs and we can stack both recliners on the car roof, and then tie them down with the tie-downs. I start to wonder if the son is actually the smart one in this family.
Finally, lady remembers she has a bungee cord in the trunk and digs through the garbage to find it. I prop the box on the trunk while she tries to get the bungee cord around it and the trunk tied down.
The cord snaps and nearly hits her in the face. Startled, she quickly stands up straight--and bashes her head on the corner of the trunk lid.
Lady: OWW!
Co-worker and I: (trying really really damn hard to not pee our pants laughing.)
Finally I am forced to remove one of the recliners from the box, set it inside the trunk as best I can, and I get the bungee cord around it and the trunk down so she can drive it home. As an added courtesy, I flatten the box and set it in the back seat so she can return the chair, if needed. The other chair is brought back inside the store so she can pick it up later.
This takes about 20 minutes of my life I will never get back. At least it was entertaining.
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