The question I hate the most...

[rapana1]

I had Lego, Barbie and other dolls, Transformers, Matchbox cars, jigsaw puzzles, colouring/activity books, pretend play cooking/teasets, craft stuff, soft toys, and tons and tons of books.
So, I was horribly spoilt *blush* but my parents let me play with whatever I wanted to play with.
I've always thought of stuff like building blocks as quite gender-neutral toys, but lots of people seem to view them as boy's toys. I remember in kindergarten and early school years, both boys and girls in equal amounts loved playing with building blocks.

[Pizzacommando]

When I was a kid my parents were smart and just gave each of us fifty bucks and told us to pick something out of the Sears catalog (yes, I'm that old). That was until I hit teenage and suddenly all I ever got from my dad was tools. I am one of the most mechanically inept people on the planet. I can make a perfectly functioning car engine seize just by looking at it wrong

[Gizmo]

This.

I've never thought about how good of a parallel this is. Gifts are not "one size fits all", just like clothes.

BTW, where does the word 'fratching' come from? I've seen it around here, and I have a vague idea of what it means, but I don't know where the term comes from.

It mostly refers to the sister site Fratching where you can have those discussions that are more argument over principles than talking about what happened in this particular case. As for official meaning the dictionary says:

noun British Dialect .
a quarrel; disagreement; argument.

To the original topic: I hate the colour pink and have fought for years to stop people buying stuff in pink for me. We just got a bright pink card from the in laws for our anniversary so apparently it isn't working. >.<

I also didn't have dolls as a kid - I just didn't want them! 'Toy Gender' lines well and definitely blurred in my case! One of the reasons I used to give my mother a list of things I did want a couple of months before my birthday and Christmas and she would 'allocate' (more suggest really) to people what to get. I still have members of family who say "oh well you put X Author, Y Book on your list.... so i got you X Author, Z book! Aren't I clever!". No, Z book wasn't on the list as I already have it and I told you that I had most of the others when I gave you the list!).

[camjuniper]

"What would you recommend for a(n) [age] year old [gender]?"

Ugh, a terrible question. The only one I hate more is "What should my child in X grade be reading?"

I'm not a school, so I don't hand out lists full of the Giver and the Chocolate Wars and all that jazz. (Not that those books are awesome, but if you want those assigned, ask a teacher.) I want to know what your kid likes so I can say, oh they liked the Scorpio Races? Maybe he/she'd like that author's series about werewolves. Or perhaps they'd prefer another fantasy world, like in Guardian of the Dead. Or how about something with (alas, non-flesh-eating) horses, like Daughter of the Centaurs.

Unfortunately parents, family, etc., sometimes want to insist that there's a mystical perfect list that their precious sixth grade must be reading and I'm doing some massive disservice by holding it back.

Just like there's a mystical perfect book for a 10 year old boy and a perfect book for a 7 year old girl.

[Ryooshi]

Ahaha! I did this last week to a lovely lady in the shoe store. I hate buying shoes. My last three pairs were bought by my husband. So when I bought shoes for my just turning one year old, I got it wrong and had to return.
She seemed appreciative that when I asked for help I could show her what didn't work, what barely fit, and just wanted to know if I should bother with another or if he would be out of them very soon. Thanks to her, Lex has two pairs of great shoes.
I hate shoes.

[RealUnimportant]

My favourite answer for this kind of question is "oh, the usual stuff {age}-year old {gender}s like." GAAAAAAHHHHHH!

Being one of a large mixed brood, with similar large broods in all directions on the family tree, I know that you could line up half a dozen {gender}s of the same or similar age, and if you can find a single interest shared by just 2 of them you're lucky!

Whenever I'm in doubt as to what they might like, I either ask their parents, or I give money. Not gift tokens, actual money. This is why I'm most voted "the cool uncle"

[Zoom]

"What would you recommend for a(n) [age] year old [gender]?"

"A book."
Additional letters to add to post length

[Seshat]

My nephew recently got a book that we knew was probably 'too advanced' for him: but he was/is utterly into paleontology, and we found what was essentially a paleontologist's journal - what it's like actually DOING paleontology.

He lives half the continent away; but I could trust that all the adults close to him would help him with the difficult parts, and encourage him to work his way through it as much as it interested him.

.... unfortunately, my niece is still a 'girly girl'. BUT I did manage to find a set of books which got her into reading for pleasure. (Vampire diaries, IIRC. At least it's not 'Twilight'....)

[SourRobot]

I don't work at a book store, but I have customers like that. Very irritating.

"I need something for a fourteen year old girl."
"Well, what does she usually wear?"
"I don't know, but she's five feet two."
"..."

I hate it when people go shopping for others they know nothing about. I've had to help people shop for gifts for their bosses, their nieces, their neighbors' kids, etc. You mean you can't recall one single thing about the person that could aid you in your hunt for a gift?

[Mytical]

Somebody would have been very hard pressed, even knowing the correct style books I liked, to have found me a book. I practically lived in our school library when I was young. Every free period, half of lunch (I would hurry and eat, then off to the library), recess (that I could get away with)..I was in the library. There was a limit of 5 books checked out per person, and the librarians would let me check out as many as I wanted..because they knew I would be back the next day, often with all the ones I checked out read..wanting more.

I swear I read the same book hundreds of times because I would go through any new ones they would get in a day..and I just had to have something to read. So .. picking me out a book that I had not read yet, that was of kind I would be interested in, would be near impossible..let alone if they had no clue what I was interested in.

As for trucks vs barbie/etc .. me and my sister would often trade. Yeah I played with dolls. She would get the trucks. Worked out good.

[simplyanother]

They'd do that at the craft store. My favorite was "what do you get for an 8 year old boy that hates crafts?".

"something from a different store...?"

When customers would have these questions, some of my co-workers would come find me, because I have two boys, and it was assumed that I would know what boys like. I don't know what boys like, I know what MY boys like.

I didn't have Lego growing up, but my boys have a ton and a half. I love building with them, but I've noticed that the things they build are far more complex and useful and...I build walls.

Apparently, girls are supposed to like horses. No one ever told me, and I find them a bit terrifying. But most of my nieces? Love horses more than humans (I think that actually, only one does not).

At the craft store, people would get pissy with the investigative questions, like I was prying. That part did come from having children who'd gotten gifts from folks who tried, but.... just assumed boy likes this.

They'd get a Star Wars model for an 8 year old boy. Fine. Has the boy done models before? "No". "ookay, will you be helping him?, will someone else be helping him?" "No, I'm sure he can do it".

Next week, try to return it, because it's too advanced. Actually, that was more an issue with those wooden models that come on the flat sheets--- those things are complicated and tedious, and frustrating for ME. I can see them reducing a child to tears.

I wasn't really a tomboy, but I liked building toys, and barbies and matchbox cars and playing in the dirt.

Books are hard---The craft store sells some books, and some crafting books. People would assume "oooh girls like dolls! American Girl books!".

People who aren't readers don't really understand that not any book will do (unless, maybe, books are scarce.....).

Bah.

[Merriweather]

As for trucks vs barbie/etc .. me and my sister would often trade. Yeah I played with dolls. She would get the trucks. Worked out good.

When my daughter was three, she used to park her Tonka trucks next to her dollhouse Later, she might get Strawberry Shortcake and Star Wars toys for the same Christmas or birthday. To me, toys are toys, and should reflect individual interests, period. I don't think she was even aware some things were considered boys toys and some thngs girls toys until she was much older, and she never heard it from me.

I was both unlucky & lucky, growing up in the 50's & 60's. My parents really had no clue as to what I would like, not as a child, and even less as a teen. So things they picked out on their own often missed the mark totally. However, when they actually took notice of specific things I asked for (and I mean, very specific, as in pointing out the item repeatedly when shopping or showing them the exact thing I wanted in the Sears catalog), then at that point they never kept to gender bounderies - I'm pretty sure I got the doll I had pointed out every time we were in one store (she had pajamas, a poodle skir & sweater, a cowgirl outfit & some other outift ) the same year I got the Sears automotive garage & gas station, with a cool ramp from a parking section, tiny little tires & battery displays, and lots of cars

[wolfie]

I was reading at a 10th grade level by the time I was 7.

My mother was a high-school science teacher. When I was in 2nd grade, I was looking through one of her (I believe) grade 9 text books, and spotted an error. It seems the publishers couldn't tell the difference between a Triceratops and a Brontosaurus.

[Gurndigarn]

My mother was a high-school science teacher. When I was in 2nd grade, I was looking through one of her (I believe) grade 9 text books, and spotted an error. It seems the publishers couldn't tell the difference between a Triceratops and a Brontosaurus.

Ah, that brings back the memories.

No, not the typos. Being able to call the things brontosauri. Well, to be honest, I still do, because while it may not be as scientifically correct, it's a hell of a lot cooler name.

[Flying Grype]

When I worked in the toy store and got that question from a customer, I'd ask them: "Does she like fashion and girly girl stuff, or would she be more interested in a science kit?" or "Is he active and into sports, or does he like board games?" We got a lot of coaching on suggestive selling in that store, and I initially thought it was so much corporate garbage, but it really did boost sales.

Marszenka, I loved books and dolls too. And GI Joes and cars and planes and sparkly ponies.

The Joes were the perfect size to live in my sister's Playmobil Victorian Mansion. They got to live a cushy life in between missions outside in the dirt and grass.

I had one Barbie who was made of a different plastic than the rest, so her complexion looked very strange, and my explanation was that she was an android. Yep.