The Coffee Nazi's are coming! The Coffee nazi's are coming!

[HappyCthulhu]

I like my coffee like I like my women........cold and bitter!!!

[Kilamon]

CN1: My coffee is too hot. Bring me a glass of ice now.
What? Did I just hear right? Weren't you the guy who made me go the depths of hell to get you a nuclear cup of coffee and now it's TOO hot?!

An appropriate anecdote related by the French poet Delille:--

Delille and Marmontel were dining together in the month of April, 1786, and the conversation happened to turn upon dinner-table customs. Marmontel observed how many little things a well-bred man was obliged to know, if he would avoid being ridiculous at the tables of his friends.

{...}

""Let us go on to the coffee. How did you drink yours?'"

"'Pshaw! At least I could make no mistake in that. It was boiling hot, so I poured it, a little at a time, in the saucer, and drank it as it cooled.'"

"'_Eh bien_! then you assuredly acted as no other gentleman in the room. Nothing can be more vulgar than to pour tea or coffee into a saucer. You should have waited till it cooled, and then have drunk it from the cup. And now you see, my dear cousin, that so far from doing precisely as others did, you acted in no one respect according to the laws prescribed by etiquette.'"

As you can see, Tithera, Coffee Nazis have been around since Coffee and I don't think they're going away, sadly. Incidentally, if he wanted iced coffee, shouldn't he have ordered that? It occurs to me that if it's too hot and too cold, maybe it's time to find some bears and see if they have their porridge yet.

[The Distorted Kwi]

I actually became the first person in my job to have a coffee named after him.... the "Skeeter-cino". (After my usual nickname, Skeeter.) It was a tiny iced coffee, 1/3 espresso, 1/3rd sugar syrup and 1/3 milk. Topped with whipped cream and liquid honey.

I once had three in a day and could nearly see through time. I have since cut back. But if they didn't want me to over-caffinate myself, they shouldn't have trained me in the cafe.

Interestingly, it was a fellow employee who ended up in hospital briefly for a caffine OD. (Yes, there is such a thing!) She was a student who fired back several red Bulls, a lot of coffee and popped some No-Doz caffine pills while studying for an exam. Then collapsed at work.

My wife brought me an espresso machine for home use. I'm down to 2 cups a day. *jitters*

[Imogene]

Once I woke up myself, of course. (Not much of a morning guy.)

I was over at a friend's apartment this weekend, taking up room on their couch... One of the roommates was usually awake around 8 in the morning. Now, I'd have stayed up until about three, maybe four, the night/morning prior. But, as soon as I heard the pitter patter of their clod hoppers wandering through their bathroom area, I was up. A few seconds to get my bearings, and then start rambling about whatever conversation we'd been having just before bed. I scare all three of them, being so awake on so little sleep.

Found out I feed off energy in the area upon rising and shining, according to one of them. We're all highly into the 'paranormal', to euphamise a long and frankly boring discussion.

[Mr B Rabbit]

You know, Maggie Thatcher survived on four hours sleep a night...

[Daskinor]

I just got this baby out of the box today. I don't want to have to go far for my fix all day. Exspecally since I have a a bad foot in a cast.

http://www.greenmountaincoffee.com/p...gle-Cup-Brewer



And it makes a sweet cup of coffee one cup at a time.

[Bella_Vixen]

Just in case any caffeine junkies are in the Milwaukee area, stop by the OPLounge. Our coffee has more caffeine then Starbucks' does.

[tollbaby]

I just got this baby out of the box today. ... And it makes a sweet cup of coffee one cup at a time.

*single best* gift I ever gave my ex-husband His wasn't as fancy as that though... we were poor :P

[Sofar]

The corfee nazis I know are the type that can't stop ranting about how Seattleites drink nothing but "coffee for pussies," and the only true way to take your coffee is sans cream, sans sugar, and Lord help you if you like hazelnuts. I don't like hazelnut coffee, (though I haven't tried mixing Nutella in,) but what I do is I take the coffee from the cafe next door, and mix a spoonful of caramel into it, instead of sugar. The caramel just seems to jive better than sugar. If I mix sugar in, it tastes too sweet and too bitter at the same time. But this is sacrilege, you see. Clearly I am not a real man, for I enjoy a spoonful of caramel in my coffee. That's tantamount to drinking flavored coffee. Same type of people whom are down on me because I like only one topping at a time on my pizza, and I like plain cheeseburgers.

[RebeccaOTool]

...
I'm so happy I hae no intrest in coffee...or being a waitress again.

[Andara Bledin]

I prefer soda in the morning and for these reasons.

1. When I wake up I'm in so desperate need for caffine that I am not functional enough to make coffee. Pulling the tab on a Dr Pepper is about all the processer power I can spare

M

Mmm.... Dr Pepper is my non-water drink of choice. I have a lot of coffee-drinking friends who can't understand how I can drink soda just after waking up.

Sweet Jeebus! How in the name of Zeus's Butthole do you NOT have your heart explode?

M

I had a friend once who took a can of Mountain Dew, a can of Jolt Cola, and dropped a No-Doze into each and then chugged both cans.

No fewer than five witnesses will all swear to his having managed to pass through a support pillar during the ensuing stimulant-induced madness.

I get palpitations from Coke, some days. A few weeks ago I woke up with a migraine, so I stopped in the cafeteria at work and got a soda, to take with my tylenol. Aside from that I really didn't feel like eating, so that was pretty much all I had until mid morning, when all of a sudden I just started shaking. That's when I realized I really needed some actual food in my blood

Ewww... low blood sugar is no fun at all. Start off as just reduced reflexed and coordination, then moves on to general iritability, then you start getting the shakes. For me, I also get hit with waves of nausea.

Interestingly, it was a fellow employee who ended up in hospital briefly for a caffine OD. (Yes, there is such a thing!) She was a student who fired back several red Bulls, a lot of coffee and popped some No-Doz caffine pills while studying for an exam. Then collapsed at work.

My uncle managed to kill himself with caffiene. Of course, he was mixing cheap-a$$ wine with speed and taking his caffiene in powdered form (a controlled substance with about the same penalties as speed). We found him collapsed and stiff in the garage the next morning.

You know, Maggie Thatcher survived on four hours sleep a night...

The human body only needs a grand total of about 2 hours of deep sleep each night. Most of the time most people spend sleeping is actually spent falling asleep and then waking back up.

It's not easy, and it requires that you have a very rigid schedule. Basically, you train yourself to drop directly into stage 5 REM sleep for a period of 20-30 minutes several times over the course of a day. The proper term for it is polyphasic, meaning that you take your sleep broken up over the course of the day. Examples include Ubermans (6 20-minute naps at rigidly scheduled intervals) and Everymans (one core nap of 1.5-3 hours plus 3-5 20-minutes naps at flexible intervals). Both styles are described by someone trying them at a site called Everything2.com (which I also participate at, though not recently).

The caramel just seems to jive better than sugar. If I mix sugar in, it tastes too sweet and too bitter at the same time.

You might want to look into unbleached sugar. One of the more popular brands is Sugar in the Raw, a natural blonde sugar. It's sweeter without being as harsh as regular bleached sugar, and I've found you need a lot less of it to sweeten tea, and I would expect it to be the same for coffee.

I don't drink coffee myself. I avoid it as much as possible. The smell alone makes me sick to my stomach.

^-.-^

[purplecat41877]

Ewww... low blood sugar is no fun at all. Start off as just reduced reflexed and coordination, then moves on to general iritability, then you start getting the shakes. For me, I also get hit with waves of nausea.
^-.-^

I've also gotten waves of nausea. I do have juice, soda, or tea on hand along with candy in my apron. When I get the waves of nausea after a certain amount of time, I realize that I need to get some food so when I get off work I arrange with my ride to meet me at the small food store down the street from the grocery store I work at. At the food store, I get a sandwich, a side dish, a beverage, sometimes a snack, and dessert.

[Jester]

Clearly I am not a real man, for I enjoy a spoonful of caramel in my coffee. That's tantamount to drinking flavored coffee. Same type of people whom are down on me because I like only one topping at a time on my pizza, and I like plain cheeseburgers.

First of all, I have to point out that that is not "tantamount to drinking flavored coffee"...that IS drinking flavored coffee. In this case, caramel flavored.

Secondly, these people are idiots. I have dealt with their kind in the form of beer purists, who insist that only one kind of beer can be "real" beer, and that fruit-flavored beer is a sacrilege. Now, I like many different kinds of beer, and have had good (and bad) beer of all stripes, including various fruit-flavored beers.

Basically these are just people that insist that their way is the only way, and are not open to other ideas, especially if that means they may not be the be all and end all of whatever the subject is. They are often people with low self-esteem who have some need to control something in the universe, so decide that they are experts on coffee/beer/playing with pitchforks/whatever.

There is another words for these kind of people: Assholes.

Enjoy your caramel-sweetened coffee my friend, and tell these idiots to piss off, shut up, and have a raspberry wheat beer.

[draftermatt]

My Dad and Grandmother will always jest that "you are not a real coffee drinker unless you drink it black"

So while they aren't being serious (it was a phrase my grandfather used they picked up on) I always think about it when I see coffee drinkers drowning the coffee with cream, sugar, what have you. I get sometimes it's to enhance the flavor.

Other times it's more of a need for a hot caffinated drink that tastes like ____ and then is it really coffee anymore?

I stay away from coffee myself unless I need a jolt in the morning and don't feel like stopping and buying a RedBull. And then I drown it with creamer. Why? Because I hate the taste of black coffee.

And Jester? Fruit flavored beer? Point me towards it. I want to try as many beers as I can. Full Moon is my current favorite.

[blas]

Call me a piss poor example of a true "adult", but I cannot stand coffee, for the life of me. I drank it at the gas station when I used to have to open. Well, scratch that.....I had half a cup of coffee with at least 10 packs of sugar and 10 packs of creamers. Must dilute the nasty coffee. I was too cheap to buy cappucino. That wasn't free

Call me a brat and and a baby, but the only coffee beverages I drink are mochas and frappucinos, preferably with large amounts of carmel on them. I love the cold coffee drinks that taste nothing like actual coffee.

And yes, there is a Starbucks on the strip I live on, yes, it has a drive thru, and I go there every day. I'm willing to fork over $4.06 a day. There are also 3 other Starbucks in my city.