A canonical list of SCs

[tropicsgoddess]

The ungrateful customer- A customer who was out of service for one day and honestly expects us to give them all this credit (I gave a customer credit for 5.72 and she was not happy with that. she expected more credit

I used to get those but on a slightly different level. This online pet medication company I worked for would match the price of the competitor's with free shipping (except for anything that had to be chilled and/or overnighted and also was not a US based competitor company). We agents were able to do price matching up to a certain point, if it got to the point it was lower than the company's purchasing costs for the product(s), a manager had to override it and a manager going that far for a price match was very very rare. These were the kind of SC's that I would get in this sort of situation with price matching.

The Deep Discount Digger: Calls in to have the prices matched for whatever product(s) they want at a ridiculously obscene amount with EWish demands no matter how low you go, same with if a manager does it. They throw hissy fits if they can't get whatever EW demands they want to have done due to policy and scream how it's "false advertising" etc.

[Mr. Security]

Now these aren't SC's per say but they fit best in here



The Childess Widow: This is an older man/woman(60+) who lost there spouse a while back and have no kids or family, who are always hanging around and talking to employee's. Now these people are generally just loney and are even known to enroll in college course's just to keep themselves busy and there generally nice but they have tendency of just walking up and talking to you about random things for long periods of time and are generally blind to the fact that your busy dealing with something which often times means they get in the way



The strange Starer: Now these are weird one's. This is the person who will come by on a daily basis sometimes coming and going muilple times during who will find a spot and littlery stand around and just stare at people going by. They will never talk to anybody, aprroch anybody or do anything. they will stand around with a coffee and sometimes has headphones on and just look around and stare. Often times they don't even come fully into the building they will just stare from a distance. There generally harmless just real weird

[Automan Empire]

The microfiche writer. Has severe obsessive-compulsive disorder or something, along with the uncanny ability to write copious notes in the tiniest imaginable handwriting. With a pen and paper, they can rival the information density of state-of-the-art X-ray lithography used to make computer chip parts at the sub-micron scale. This customer must spread such notes across the counter and consult them repeatedly while writing up a work order. Usually also a high-maintenance, low-spend customer, too.

[MoonChild2007]

Why did somebody tell me that then! customers.

For pete's sake, I don't have any control what some moron employee told you and stop asking me why! Also, what world do you live in where people are ALWAYS right? Look, some people, including me, don't know everything and sometimes some people have more info than me so back the hell off!

I am sure the same customers are the people who think they are always right!

[moogie]

More sucky customers

The "This is the smallest thing I have."
Buys an 83 cent fountain drink with 20, 50 or 100 dollars bills, thinking that 10's and 5's are magically restored to registers via the change fairy.

The "But, everybody here knows me!"
When asked for ID balks at the request insisting that they are there everyday and that everyone there knows them to be of legal age, when I am obviously new and do not, in fact, know them.

The "Are you serious?"
When asked for ID seems outraged that I don't take their word that they are of age and when ID is checked they are 21 at the oldest.

The "I'm lonely"
Stands at the register for about a half an hour telling me about their interests, which I am completely uninterested in, while picking out 2 lottery tickets and holding up a line of 10 people. Every. Single. Day.

[Automan Empire]

LOL @ Moonchild.

Nobody told me.... You're over 30 and you're whining that nobody told you there'd be sales tax, or that you might have to wait your turn in a line, or that the red curb means don't park there because it's in the way and you'll likely get a ticket.

Straight Answer Steven (By Chris on my mechanic forum) - couldn't give you one if his life depended on it. No matter what question you ask he inevitably gives the answer to a different question. Examples:

When can you bring it in? Answer: Well, I talked to ___ last week and he said ___ so I just want to see how much it is for ____....

What is your last name? Answer: Its a red volvo, we've been in there before...

So you say the car doesn't start, does it do this regularly? Only when Cold? Answer: I dunno, its like its starved for fuel, maybe the fuel filter is bad, how much are those...

What kind of maintence history do you have with the car? Answer: Its been a great car. My aunt used to drive it, then I bought it off her a few years ago. I think I'm gunna give it to my son next year.


Annie Ancient is a very elderly woman who is pleasant but is a total time bandit. One can't help but feel for her, making the leap from the halcyon tranquility of the retirement village, to the hustle and bustle of a busy auto shop. Still, she's a regular Straight Answer Steve with every sentence, but unlike Steve it is not born of an incipient malevolence, but rather the fact that she's been retired since way before you had training wheels.

I'm turning around cars for two customers in the office picking up, and Annie pulls in RIGHT IN THE WAY and rolls down her window and starts talking to me 10 feet away in a rolling car with the window up. Have to get out of the car and tell her to please park right there behind that blue car, and walk away while she's talking because both customers that paid are now milling about the lot staring. Annie parks behind a beige car and a black car, one of which I'm about to deliver to waiting finished customer #2. Ask her to move again and she starts saying "Remember me? I came in, oh I don't know, it was some time last year... do you have that part that I needed?" Ask her to please park behind the blue car and she starts with, "Well, how long is this going to take, because I have a doctor's appointment and blah bllah blah." Tell her to please go see the manager at the desk and swift-walk across lot to chat with waiting customer #2 as Annie takes 5 full minutes to get her purse out, shuffle coupons and stuff them in said purse, re-lay the blanket and pillow across the driver seat just so. Finish talking to customer and go find that Annie has locked the car and taken the key. Run, get key, no just give me ALL the keys, you're waiting for the repair and I have to move NOW, run back, get young frustrated late customer down the road.

Head back to office, Annie wants "the thermostat" we recommended "by spring." You mean the airbox thermostat? "No, the thermostat. Well, I don't know..." Do you have your receipt from then, Maam, because we just recovered from a serious computer crash that wiped out electronic records since late December. Annie says it was last year some time, but cannot be found with name, license, etc. Leaf through hard copies of ROs while she blathers on. Find out it was in January, and it was the airbox thermostat. She launches into a run-on sentence about how another customer came in to the office and pointed to somthing in the display case that made her think of Christmas, when there's nothing remotely Christmasy in said display case.

Now Manager is trying to write the RO and I need to ask her a question about a different job. She asks what color the car is. "Well, I don't know what Volvo's fancy name for it was, let's see, I bought the car in '96 when my daughter was..." Me: RED!!!! Annie: "... her kids... my grandkids, of course... They're...." Office door: SLAM!

Finally, Annie is leaving, having waited for a single .2 job but she's engaged us for over .75 person-hours by this point. Now she has to sit in the way, disgorging her purse and f#$%ing with the contents for an interminable time.

Okay, Annie, can I please work on some other cars before I'm as ancient as you are?

[Automan Empire]

Pastor Bedtime identifies himself as Pastor every time he calls or comes. Also, every time he comes, he would unabashedly and unskillfully flirt with the 19yo service writer, to her great disgust because he's pushing 60. He would also ask for unethical repairs, like trying to cheat a failed smog. What a bastion was he!

Swinger Sam is a married dude who unabashedly but semi-skillfully tries to flirt with the service writer, who must also talk to the wife. Swinger Sam once came to pick up the car with his wife, after a day of trying to get service writer to go to a bar with him. He opened the office door and says loudly, "I brought my WIFE with me to pick up the car!" as if to signal, don't take me up on the offer right now. Yeah, whatever, PUTZ! We talk about you a lot now, not kindly.

[tropicsgoddess]

The "Fix My Computer For Free" Customer: Also known as the Technical Support Deadbeat (Thank you, sld72382 for the term). This SC calls or goes to tech support with issues on their computer(s) and flips out and/or demands that you fix their computer(s) for free after you tell them that they have to pay for tech support. They also rabble about how they can't afford it,blah blah blah (cue the world's smallest violin) and may spew out the ever so popular "IN THIS ECONOMY..." and/or "This is a rip off!" type of rants,when they're really too cheap to pay up to get their computer(s) fixed.

[MercenaryMuffin]

The Life Story Customer - Usually comes out at night. This guest will start the conversation with a simple "hello"...an hour later, he/she has told you about their entire life, including, but not limited to: spouses, kids, jobs, rants about being your age, what they had for breakfast, their favorite TV shows, pets, and every inane detail of their life you could care less about.


The Cat Lady - Most likely old, but some of them are in their late 20s or early 30s. This person (usually female) will go on and on about their cats, how cute they are, what they like to do, their feeding habits, what their favorite toy is, etc.
This usually involves many, many pictures of said cats. At some point, Cat Lady must be told that you're busy and can't talk right now. Because, at some point, I don't care how cute your cats are, I don't want to hear about your cat any more.

Mustang Sally - Walks around the store carrying an arm full of items, spends an hour browsing the shelves, then simply leaves everything she's carrying in one pile in a random part of the store and walks out.

The Moocher - This person loves to browse the Produce section, and will eat as many grapes, bananas, apples, and berries as possible before leaving again.

The "Let me ruin your morning" Reservation - This person has the uncanny ability to know, down to the microsecond, when you're about to go clock out and head home. Said person will immediately call and want to place the longest, most contrived reservation you've had all week, thus making you spend another 15 minutes in hell. Almost always happens before your weekend, too.

The FES - Aka "the guy who knows two words of English". Impossible to understand, gets upset when you can't decipher what he's saying.

[ThisIsXYZ]

Why did somebody tell me that then! customers.

For pete's sake, I don't have any control what some moron employee told you and stop asking me why!

My usual response to this (over the phone) was to say that I don't know why someone was advertising it for 50% of the actual price, but that's not correct. In fact, if you can find where that was being advertised, please let us know, we don't want people out there quoting the wrong price!

It doesn't insult anyone who's genuinely misinformed or misremembering, shows that our company is trying to uphold our integrity, and convinces the scammers to knock it off . Also, I never once had a customer come up with proof of where they'd been offered a lower price. Funny, that...


My own least favorite type: The double-dipper. This person emails, online chats, and calls you all at the same time. Bonus points if multiple agents try to resolve the problem at once, leading to much more complicated and time consuming problems than the customer had originally.

[Dips]

It doesn't insult anyone who's genuinely misinformed or misremembering, shows that our company is trying to uphold our integrity, and convinces the scammers to knock it off . Also, I never once had a customer come up with proof of where they'd been offered a lower price. Funny, that...

Absolutely. I am very fond of that approach.

My own least favorite type: The double-dipper. This person emails, online chats, and calls you all at the same time. Bonus points if multiple agents try to resolve the problem at once, leading to much more complicated and time consuming problems than the customer had originally.

I don't know why they do this. They probably think blasting us with multiple requests speeds things up. I bet they also push the elevator call button multiple times thinking it makes the elevator come faster.

Bonus bonus points if they tell different stories to different reps and, thus, get different, sometimes conflicting, answers to their questions.

Bonus bonus bonus points if they start quoting one rep's answers to another rep:

"Rep A never said I needed to restart my computer, why are YOU saying that?"

[Automan Empire]

I didn't know where to park Mark. One of my BIGGEST pet peeves EVER!

Every auto repair shop I've ever worked at, regardless of parking lot layout, how crowded, how many clearly empty spaces evident, how every other car is parked...

Every day at least once, someone disregards all convention, common sense, courtesy, and available cues, and parks diagonally, in the most in-the-way way possible!

They always give you this simpering, "I didn't know where to parrrrrk!" Right, you freaking window licker... give me your keys (and be glad I actually give them back, given my opinion of your qualification to be driving in public at all) and watch carefully the way I do it. There, see? Crisply oriented East-West, even with the rows and rows of other cars already parked here. Plenty of room for you to get in and out of the car, for the staff to still drive in and out of the shop, and most importantly, still room for the next person to pull in and park not-in-the-way. You think I was gruff about it this time? I was less gruff the first time you did it, and will be more gruff the next.

Whether it is born of a sense of entitlement, or just cluelessness... I don't care, you're in the way in a painstakingly obvious way, give me the keys, no ALL OF THEM, NOW!, and let me park it for you. There's something seriously wrong with you, to park totally in the way, when better options are clearly available.

I learned at age 3, not to leave my tricycle in the sidewalk when finished playing... I mean, come on!

My own least favorite type: The double-dipper.

Yeah, in my biz, we have
The Power Calling Family. Only one person makes the financial decisions. If you're the timid wife who's not allowed to decide which way to hang the toilet paper, why oh why do you have the service manager go through the whole description of what the vehicle needs, ask questions about it, then say, "Okay, you need to call my husband; he is the one who decides." Then, the teens in the family. Yeah, I know 5 minutes is an eternity to wait, but when you keep calling to ask how much longer we think it's going to be, and we brusquely say whenever this phone stops ringing so we can do the actual work, we are talking about YOU! You'll know, because we'll call and tell you! AFTER it is finished. You're really not getting it, are you? It will be however long the work takes, PLUS however long you have us on the phone... and yeah, other people bring their cars here too, so we will bump your car out of line and finish one for a good customer who left us alone to finish the work like a smart cookie. You don't even have a JOB, kid, much less are paying for this, so we REALLY resent you having us go through the entire list of things the car needs, only to say, well, my dad will decide what we're going to do on the car. We know, having already talked to him, and having him approve only ONE repair out of a dozen. You're nowhere near as high on the hierarchy of importance to us, as you think you are.
Ring ring, <spiel> Oh, it's YOU again, kiddo? Look, from now on, only the one PAYING for the work is to call here. Don't you call again today. Understand? No? Okay, the car won't be finished today after all, bye.

[Automan Empire]

Horn Honking Hank Nothing says Entitlement Whore like honking your horn all the way up the driveway when you arrive, and just sitting there with the window up and the radio on.

[Nohbody]

The Barnum: So-called because of the infamous quote by P.T. Barnum: "There's a sucker born every minute." Attempts to act like they know what they want, when in reality, can be talked into just about anything. Wouldn't be such a problem if this meant that they could decide after seeing more than one option...

Personally, I think this should be called "Barnum's Proof." Just saying.

The P.T. Barnham customer. [...] Proves P.T. Barnham correct, in the "There's a sucker born every minute!" (sigh!)

Nitpick: Barnum never said that. The quote is from one of his competitors at the time, in regards to the Cardiff Giant hoax (google it, too long to get into here).

(And, yes, I quoted posts from years ago just for that. )

Oh yes. Anyone remember Rock 'n' Roll Elmo? I worked in a small clothing store, that was forced to carry several of these abominations (we had RnR Ernie too, but his voice wasn't as annoying, and since he played Splish Splash and Rock Around the Clock, I didn't mind him too much). Elmo's voice annoys me anyway, and to hear that thing start to screech out "A, B, C, easy as 1, 2, 3..." AUGH!!!!!!!!!! And the adults who would set off every single one of them for the amusement of their bratty kids....GRRRRR.

Not Rock 'n' Roll, but someone I know (if not well, as he lives like 1500 miles away) let out some frustration with the Tickle Me Elmo version, here.

The kicker? The doll was the last one at the K-Mart, and a pushy SC bitch was basically acting like it was hers just because she forced her way to the front of the crowd.

The Southern Belle wannabe: Calls all the employees "Honey," "Darling," and "Sweetheart."

Living in the south, that's not exactly uncommon, though perhaps not as common as it used to be.

Are you SERIOUS?

This is pervasive in my casino, and I can't quite figure it out. Whenever the dealer will turn over a good hand, such as an 18, 19, 20, or blackjack, at least half the time someone on the table will ask "Are you SERIOUS?" I always pause for a moment, look at them, and reply "Sorry, I left my clown nose at home tonight."

*snrk*

These are from a pizza-delivery perspective

Food Poisoned Slob: This idiot describes in detail how she got food poisoning from the last pizza and how she'll have the store's guts for garters. Meanwhile cockroaches can be seen crawling all over the kitchen.

Grateful Customer (no, not really): Says "Oh, you got here so fast! Wow! Thanks!", then stiffs the driver.

Stinky Guy: He and his apartment smell of a mixture of vomit, urine, feces, and decayed food. One driver refuses to go there after throwing up on the doorstep.

Ugh, don't get me started on pizza delivery stuff... I'll be here all day.

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As for contributions of my own, pretty much everything I can think of has been covered (usually multiple times) by other posters, so I'll just STFU now.

[MoonChild2007]

The economy made me do it! customers

You know the customers who don't pay their bills on time and get interrupted and pull the economy card. Yeah, what does the economy have to do with paying your bills on time?