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Felt like telling this story since I've been feeling somewhat nostalgic lately.
Back when I was an undergraduate, I volunteered for about two years at one of the Smithsonian museums in D.C. It was fun and eventually it helped me get a temporary full time federal job which was probably the funnest job I've ever had so far. But as a lowly volunteer I had some experiences with the equivalent of sucky customers - sometimes I was honestly baffled as to how these people found their way into the museum to start with.
Stupid Questions Galore
I've always believed the "no stupid questions" saying is BS for many reasons, and my volunteer stint helped reinforce that.
Probably the best example I have - one of the exhibit halls is dedicated to marine life. On the ceiling there are (what I thought were clearly obvious even as a little kid) projected film images.
Yet I had people ask - "How often do you clean the tanks up there?"
Depending on my mood, I would either explain they weren't tanks - or just say "Thursdays."
And these weren't stupid questions - but you heard them without fail multiple times an hour:
"Where are the bathrooms?" (okay, that's legit)
"Where is the (guess - its a blue gem reportedly cursed) diamond?"
"When do they feed the tarantulas?"
Random things
-Mom with little kids comes up to me: "Hypothetically, if someone puked in the insect exhibit, who should we talk to?"
Me: *sigh* "I'll get someone..."
-We had occasional fugitive butterflies escaping from the insect hall adjacent to where I worked - making the volunteers on that side have to walk around with big nets trying to catch them. It was usually the little black or brown ones - the ones who matched the ceiling. Yeah, figures it could never be the big blue ones...
- Parents complaining about anatomically correct nude human statues in the evolution hall
- Mom angry at us after her kid saw a model of the HIV virus and asked her what HIV was.
- People offended by evolution exhibits sending their kids to argue with museum guides. Honestly people, I can deal if you don't accept evolution but don't send your 8 year old to annoy me.
Stories from my hall
But the best stories are from where I volunteered at - in my hall there were a variety of human skeletons as it was dedicated to forensic anthropology. Now the issue is that we had several skeletons from children - from fetal to adolescence. People with a certain stance on abortion often took offense to the younger skeletons and sometimes decided to make a show of it or come up to me to complain.
Look, I don't particularly care what your stance on abortion is, museum visitors, its not the fault of the museum volunteers that we have fetal skeletons on display. Do you think cussing at us or giving us the evil eye will magically bring the skeletons to life?
Two occasions I find particularly memorable:
- I didn't see most of this one, I was walking back to the front of the exhibit and I saw this woman arguing with two security guards. I heard her say: "But that was a little living person!" The guards had gotten her to move along by then, and I was too nervous to ask how that had all started. This is the only time I've seen guards get involved.
- I'm standing by one of the displays, and this woman with a baby calls me over. She points at the infant skeleton and asks me if its real.
Me: Yes, it is.
Baby lady: THIS IS SICK!!!!
Me: Okay...?
Fortunately she wandered off after that muttering something.
So you get the idea.
But to not end on a bad note - I have a few funnies to tell.
-One day at the exhibit, mom comes in with crying kid. Apparently he's too scared to walk past the skeletons and asks how they can get out without seeing them. Well, the only way out is past the mummy hall. And he's scared of those too. So mom glares at us like we designed the place to scare her kid.
Look, lady, just cover your kid's eye and run. (No joke, parents have had to do that before)
-I'm walking out to take my break, I pass by the animal bones hall - there's a display case showing the skeletons of chimps, orangutans, gorillas and humans to compare anatomy. A woman and her kids are standing there and as I pass I overhear:
Mom: "Well that looks like intelligent design to me! Where's Jesus?"
The more I thought about it, the funnier it got. What, did she want a few thousand year old skeleton nailed to a cross in the display too?
Back when I was an undergraduate, I volunteered for about two years at one of the Smithsonian museums in D.C. It was fun and eventually it helped me get a temporary full time federal job which was probably the funnest job I've ever had so far. But as a lowly volunteer I had some experiences with the equivalent of sucky customers - sometimes I was honestly baffled as to how these people found their way into the museum to start with.
Stupid Questions Galore
I've always believed the "no stupid questions" saying is BS for many reasons, and my volunteer stint helped reinforce that.
Probably the best example I have - one of the exhibit halls is dedicated to marine life. On the ceiling there are (what I thought were clearly obvious even as a little kid) projected film images.
Yet I had people ask - "How often do you clean the tanks up there?"
Depending on my mood, I would either explain they weren't tanks - or just say "Thursdays."
And these weren't stupid questions - but you heard them without fail multiple times an hour:
"Where are the bathrooms?" (okay, that's legit)
"Where is the (guess - its a blue gem reportedly cursed) diamond?"
"When do they feed the tarantulas?"
Random things
-Mom with little kids comes up to me: "Hypothetically, if someone puked in the insect exhibit, who should we talk to?"
Me: *sigh* "I'll get someone..."
-We had occasional fugitive butterflies escaping from the insect hall adjacent to where I worked - making the volunteers on that side have to walk around with big nets trying to catch them. It was usually the little black or brown ones - the ones who matched the ceiling. Yeah, figures it could never be the big blue ones...
- Parents complaining about anatomically correct nude human statues in the evolution hall
- Mom angry at us after her kid saw a model of the HIV virus and asked her what HIV was.
- People offended by evolution exhibits sending their kids to argue with museum guides. Honestly people, I can deal if you don't accept evolution but don't send your 8 year old to annoy me.
Stories from my hall
But the best stories are from where I volunteered at - in my hall there were a variety of human skeletons as it was dedicated to forensic anthropology. Now the issue is that we had several skeletons from children - from fetal to adolescence. People with a certain stance on abortion often took offense to the younger skeletons and sometimes decided to make a show of it or come up to me to complain.
Look, I don't particularly care what your stance on abortion is, museum visitors, its not the fault of the museum volunteers that we have fetal skeletons on display. Do you think cussing at us or giving us the evil eye will magically bring the skeletons to life?
Two occasions I find particularly memorable:
- I didn't see most of this one, I was walking back to the front of the exhibit and I saw this woman arguing with two security guards. I heard her say: "But that was a little living person!" The guards had gotten her to move along by then, and I was too nervous to ask how that had all started. This is the only time I've seen guards get involved.
- I'm standing by one of the displays, and this woman with a baby calls me over. She points at the infant skeleton and asks me if its real.
Me: Yes, it is.
Baby lady: THIS IS SICK!!!!
Me: Okay...?
Fortunately she wandered off after that muttering something.
So you get the idea.
But to not end on a bad note - I have a few funnies to tell.
-One day at the exhibit, mom comes in with crying kid. Apparently he's too scared to walk past the skeletons and asks how they can get out without seeing them. Well, the only way out is past the mummy hall. And he's scared of those too. So mom glares at us like we designed the place to scare her kid.
Look, lady, just cover your kid's eye and run. (No joke, parents have had to do that before)
-I'm walking out to take my break, I pass by the animal bones hall - there's a display case showing the skeletons of chimps, orangutans, gorillas and humans to compare anatomy. A woman and her kids are standing there and as I pass I overhear:
Mom: "Well that looks like intelligent design to me! Where's Jesus?"
The more I thought about it, the funnier it got. What, did she want a few thousand year old skeleton nailed to a cross in the display too?
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