Most of Our Customers are Great. And Then, There's These Folks...

[sms001]

ALSO THIS NEVER WAS PLAYED ON THE RADIO. IT'S A PRANK.

Good disclaimer, as it is easy to believe Coach Weaver would be that outspoken on the air.

[O's fan until moving to Missouri in '72.]

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

Bit of a correction here: it wasn't a local game in any sense of the word. Since we were watching it in Florida, and the two schools involved were UConn and Syracuse.

That being said, I am not always a foul-mouthed asshole. I can keep a civil tongue, and often do, and often that is dictated by my surroundings and those around me. That being said...

NOT in a fucking sports bar!

How about on a radio show?

LINK VERY NSFW. ALSO THIS NEVER WAS PLAYED ON THE RADIO. IT'S A PRANK.

[Jester]

Ok, there are some adults that I don't swear around (beyond my parents) because I know they don't like it and I respect them. And I do try to self-censor around kids. But a random stranger at a sports bar? During a local game? Yeah, fuck you.

Bit of a correction here: it wasn't a local game in any sense of the word. Since we were watching it in Florida, and the two schools involved were UConn and Syracuse.

That being said, I am not always a foul-mouthed asshole. I can keep a civil tongue, and often do, and often that is dictated by my surroundings and those around me. That being said...

NOT in a fucking sports bar!


And that reminds me of one of my favorite jokes:

A guy decides he wants a pet, and since he wants to interact with the pet, he decides he wants to get a parrot, so that he can have a pet he can actually converse with. So he goes down to the local pet store and inquires about getting a parrot. The shopkeeper tells him that they only have one parrot. "I'll take it!" Well, the shopkeeper says, you should know that this particular parrot has a bit of a foul mouth on him. "It's all good--I'm an adult!" No, really, this parrot curses up a blue streak. But the man will not be dissuaded, and the shopkeeper sells him the parrot, which he takes home.

True to the shopkeeper's tale, the parrot starts unleashing a torrent of verbal abuse at the man, cursing up a storm that would make even sailors and bikers blush. The man is stunned at how foul-mouthed this bird is, and tries everything he can to tone down bird's profane language, to no avail. The more he tries to control the parrot's language, the fouler and ruder the parrot gets. At his wit's end, the man grabs the parrot, opens the freezer, flings the parrot into the freezer, and slams the door shut. And storms out of the house.

After a short time, when the man has calmed down, he realizes that, foul mouth or not, throwing the parrot in the freezer probably was not the best idea. And no matter how frustrated he was with the bird, he really can't justify what he just did, and starts to feel immensely guilty. So he returns to the house to free the parrot from the freezer. He walks in, opens the door, and takes the shivering parrot out.

The parrot looks up at the man with big, sad eyes and says, "My good sir...if my colorful use of the English language over the last few days has offended or bothered you, or insulted you in any way, allow me to offer my sincerest apologies. I shall henceforth do all within my power to not assault your ears with such salty language, and shall endeavor to be more polite with you and your chosen company. I meant no offense, and was merely expressing myself in ways I found entertaining, not fully realizing how offensive it might be to the ears of others. So again, accept my humble apology, and my promise that such coarse behavior shall cease immediately. I do, however, have one small question...

What did the chicken do?"

[Jay 2K Winger]

I'm sorry, I'm sorry, actually what I said was...

*scree*

HOW WOULD YOU LIKE TO SUCK MY BALLS, MR. GARRISON?

..............holy shit, dude.

[Deserted]

Yes, but that was probably for everyone with a military ID.

Of course.

Not like you were doing anything that was out of the norm.

Sure I was. I was a horrible sailor who never should've joined, yet I managed to get out with an honorable discharge. Pretty unusual, for the amount of trouble I got in. (I even got a good conduct award. My entire division was like " wtf?")

By the way, an update on the "No Taxes" guy. My most recent conversation with the waitress who handled him involved her telling me that he said, "Where I'm from, I don't pay taxes." Which of course leads to the obvious rejoinder: "See those palm trees out there? Now, does that look like where you're from, OR LIKE FUCKING KEY WEST?"

That reply is full of win.

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

How would YOU like to suck my balls?!

I'm sorry, I'm sorry, actually what I said was...

*scree*

HOW WOULD YOU LIKE TO SUCK MY BALLS, MR. GARRISON?

[PatchO'Black]

I have to admit, I'm a bit mixed on the "We're All Adults Here" story. On the one hand, I can see the point that in a place such as a sports bar, cursing isn't exactly going to be a surprise. On the other hand, I've never been particularly partial to casual cussing, and having someone loudly doing so would be very annoying to me. I probably wouldn't have been as confrontational as the woman, but I must admit, I might have been more likely to cut my visit short. Then again, since I don't frequent sports bars much, it probably wouldn't have been much of a loss.

[EricKei]

How would YOU like to suck my balls?!

Present them. </Mr Mrs Mr Garrison>

[Kagato]

How would YOU like to suck my balls?!

Used to love watching the South Park movie - There is a clip on Youtube of Robin Williams singing "Blame Canada" at the 2000 academy awards =p

[Jay 2K Winger]

How would you like to go see the school counsellor?

/MrGarrison =p

How would YOU like to suck my balls?!

[Crossbow]

Take me out to the slaughter,
Take me out to the rout.
Buy them a coffin and nail it shut,
The other team is just kicking their butt.
For it's mourn, mourn, mourn for the D-Backs
If they don't win, no surprise
'Cause they're three, six, nine runs behind
The other guys!

SO stolen for the Indians!

We're All Adults Here...and So's the Language

WOMAN: "Nice mouth."

My immediate response: "Thanks! It's real pretty. Even my last cellmate thought so!"

Ok, there are some adults that I don't swear around (beyond my parents) because I know they don't like it and I respect them. And I do try to self-censor around kids. But a random stranger at a sports bar? During a local game? Yeah, fuck you.

[Kagato]

Fuck Fuck Fuckedy Fuck Fuck Fuck.

(i'll buy anyone a beer if they catch it)

How would you like to go see the school counsellor?

/MrGarrison =p

[pzychobitch]

Better be careful around flutter... flutter can turn into a right bitch if either provoked or Discorded.

OMG I see what you did there! *squees*

That's almost the exact face I get when the same shit happens to me at my job!

[pzychobitch]

Don't need to even do this much. The boss has the ability to simply turn the wi-fi off. (Or make it unavailable to the public; I don't know the technical details, but you get the idea.)

There is a way to set up a wifi network to only allow certain mac addresses to be able to connect. Also you can set the max number of devices allowed to connect to a particular wi fi network, depending on the router and what your boss wants.

[pzychobitch]

Children! We do not S! A! Y! the fuck word.

Fuck Fuck Fuckedy Fuck Fuck Fuck.

(i'll buy anyone a beer if they catch it)