"I lost it 3 months ago! It's sentimental!"

[Food Lady]

Happy Birthday, Sonoma.

CW: I will be on the look out for whiny Facebook posts.

Can I borrow your coworker to deal with my SCs? Just for the entertainment value.

[Teefies2]

Happy Birthday Sonoma !

[eltf177]

What? You mean you don't implement a scorched tables policy to protect birthday princesses?

Cat Herder, you owe me a new keyboard! It's not _my_ fault I ignored Rule #1!

Seriously, that is hiliarious! I may need to steal borrow that sometime!

[Dytchdoctir]

. . . this thread is a big compilation of different shifts shits.

Fixed that for you.

[Sonoma]

Happy Birthday, Sonoma.

Happy Birthday Sonoma !

Thanks for the b-day wishes. Actual day is tomorrow, but I have my last chemo treatment today, so won't be up for too much celebrating or eating the next few days. My happy b-day to myself is having Salvation Army come get my old couch, so I can get my living room back. Treated myself to a new microfiber, dual reclining couch. Much better than the 17-year old beast I bought when I got my first apartment.

Now, back to our regularly-scheduled thread...

[Mikkel]

Thanks for the b-day wishes. Actual day is tomorrow, but I have my last chemo treatment today, so won't be up for too much celebrating or eating the next few days.

At least it's your last one. You got through it and still had some fun.
Good job .

[dalesys]

Now, back to our regularly-scheduled thread...

Whazzat?

[Messter of rocket-propelled thread drift, ala Orion.] (toss a nuke under its ass and it will *MOVE!*)

[Pixilated]

*snip*

SC: I’m a journalist and I am going to write something damning about you on the Internet! You are finished!
CW: I will be on the look out for whiny Facebook posts.

Find any?

What a twit. How hard is it to clarify what you want? Initially it sounded like coffee with some chocolate in it ... then it sounded like a cup of hot chocolate AND a cup of coffee.

Good for you guys for not putting up with it, and I love your boss for being willing to turf out idiots like that!

*snip*

SC: You’re making me feel like a bad mother!

Possibly because you are a lousy excuse for a mother ...

*snip*
BG: I WILL NOT have anyone sitting near my party! I will not allow it!

*snip*

This one really made me go That somebody could book two tables and assume that gives them the right to a ring of empty tables around them ...

Why did Her Ladyship have to be at the pub, anyway? Was the manor house undergoing renovations? Did the servants have the night off?

Good one!
Or maybe the House Elves have finally had enough and gone on strike.

Thanks for the b-day wishes. Actual day is tomorrow, but I have my last chemo treatment today, so won't be up for too much celebrating or eating the next few days. *snip*

Happy birthday Sonoma -- glad to hear you are at the end of your chemo treatments!

[Sapphire Silk]

CW walked out the back. SC turned to me, shaking his head.

SC: What an absolute moron, am I right?

Yes, you are quite right . . . you are an absolute moron. Glad you noticed.

Geez . . . I can't believe I'm the first one to pick up on this one

Me: I’m sorry ma’am but children are not allowed in the pub beyond 8pm.
SC: Well you’re lucky it’s not a child. It’s a baby.
<snip>

SC: For God’s sake! She’s asleep! I only want a bottle of wine!
M: Rules are rules. I am afraid you are going to have to leave.
SC: You’re making me feel like a bad mother!

Yes, yes you are a bad mother. Good mothers don't drink in bars with babies. They get a sitter, or they stay home and don't drink.

BG: I WILL NOT have anyone sitting near my party! I will not allow it!

I shudder to think what this bitch will be like on her wedding day. Can anyone say Bridezilla?

[Jester]

BG: I WILL NOT have anyone sitting near my party! I will not allow it!
BG: Some people are sitting at the table next to us! Make them move!
BG: You have to do as I say!

You're gonna have to get used to disappointment....

Boy, BG is some kind of specul isn't she? How much more of this did she put up with before exclaming in a loud voice, "This place is rude and we're leaving and not coming back!"

I am sure CRML was praying for that exact comment....

If a lousy scarf has such sentimental value, then why has it been 3 months before the lady finally realized that it was missing?

Because he's an idiot...and not a lady.

Why didn't the guy know what color it was?

Because he's an idiot.

My friend & I went to IHOP for my b-day breakfast this morning. I would have never even thougt to have a halo of empty tables surrounding us.

Because you're NOT an idiot.

Possibly because you are a lousy excuse for a mother ...

Yes, yes you are a bad mother. Good mothers don't drink in bars with babies. They get a sitter, or they stay home and don't drink.

If she was just there for a single drink, I could kind of sympathize with her. But an entire bottle of wine?

Yeah...lousy excuse for a mother!

[Cat Herder]

Sonoma!

Also, good thoughts regarding your medical issue.

[Cat Herder]

SC: You’re making me feel like a bad mother!

In a way, this is a variation of "Does this dress make my ass look fat?"

BG: I WILL NOT have anyone sitting near my party! I will not allow it!

Does anyone else imagine this statement said in a Hyacinth Bucket voice?

"Richard, I WILL NOT have anyone sitting near my party! I will not allow it!"

"Now, Hyacinth, please don't cause a scene!"

Along those same lines:

a stereotypical, skinny blonde, spoiled girl who probably owns five cars, twelve i-pads and has a room devoted to clothes.

"You remember my sister Violet: She's the one with the Mercedes, a sauna, a swimming pool, and room for a pony!"

[eltf177]

In a way, this is a variation of "Does this dress make my ass look fat?"



Does anyone else imagine this statement said in a Hyacinth Bucket voice?

"Richard, I WILL NOT have anyone sitting near my party! I will not allow it!"

"Now, Hyacinth, please don't cause a scene!"

Along those same lines:



"You remember my sister Violet: She's the one with the Mercedes, a sauna, a swimming pool, and room for a pony!"

Never even thought of her, but now I can't get it out of my head!

[Sonoma]

Never even thought of her, but now I can't get it out of my head!

Love that show - my Grandmother got me started watching it years ago.

And thanks for all the birthday & well wishes. You guys are the best.

[Ironclad Alibi]

Busy Friday night. I am serving behind the bar when I spot a lady with a baby carrier. It was well beyond the time for children being allowed in, so I went over.

Me: I’m sorry ma’am but children are not allowed in the pub beyond 8pm.
SC: Well you’re lucky it’s not a child. It’s a baby.
Me: It is still a person under the age of 18. I am very sorry but I’m going to have to ask you to leave.

...

I'm surprised she didn't set the baby down outside and come back in without the baby to get her wine.

You just know there are people who would do that.