Winners of the night...

[Chromatix]

Quote from a cop show: "Have you any idea how much cocaine can be hidden in a bodily orifice?"

[Wembley]

Just don't call him "Honey"... *snerk*

[Seshat]

He needs to find or make a jar with a flange.

Every time I hear a story about 'stuck in his/her butt', I think 'they make toys specifically with flanges precisely so that this doesn't happen.

... now when I hear a story from a nurse or doctor about a flanged, specially-made toy getting stuck in a butt, I'll be interested.

[It shouldn't]

So the whole time I'm thinking............
How did she get the lighter to work, after getting it wet?

[telecom_goddess]

I dont get along with bees very well. Maybe the buzzing makes the jars vibrate at just the right speed??

OMG you just made me laugh so hard. jesus christ that's funny.

[jedimaster91]

Man fell down at bar, went boom.

So can you put that exact wording in the chart? I so would if I thought I could get away with it.

She had a... in.... *floor*

And this is one of many reasons I'm glad I don't work in the ER. Still funny, though. And not at all surprising.

[Jay 2K Winger]

So can you put that exact wording in the chart? I so would if I thought I could get away with it.

I remember one of the CSI shows had a term for it. "DFO" = "Done Fell Over"

[Chromatix]

So the whole time I'm thinking............
How did she get the lighter to work, after getting it wet?

As long as the flint can still strike a spark, the gas will light. Also, when not aroused, the vagina isn't particularly wet.

[Amina516]

So the whole time I'm thinking............
How did she get the lighter to work, after getting it wet?

You'll be impressed to know she didn't have just any old lighter. It was a Zippo.

[Sapphire Silk]

Quote from a cop show: "Have you any idea how much cocaine can be hidden in a bodily orifice?"

I do. A lot. Had an inmate who we had to do a pelvic on cuz the cops suspected she'd hidden drugs there.

She had crack in well . . . her crack.

So can you put that exact wording in the chart? I so would if I thought I could get away with it.

Not in the chart.

On the control board, yes, though we used to use acronyms. DFO, used that one. FDGB: Fall Down Go Boom, used that one too.

Head Bonk was another regular.

Ah, good times. Good times

[EvilEmpryss]

I argue that firecrotch wasn't insane. It took the understanding that she would get in trouble if they found it on her and premeditation to put it there.

Unless that's where she usually carries it. Then I vote she's cuckoo for coco-puffs.

[LesserSouthernFroglet]

We used PAFO - pissed and fell over.

It is amazing what can 'accidently' end up in a bodily orifice. Even more amazing are the fantastic tales of how said objects got there. If you put the stories in book, nobody would believe them.

[manybellsdown]

We used PAFO - pissed and fell over.

It is amazing what can 'accidently' end up in a bodily orifice. Even more amazing are the fantastic tales of how said objects got there. If you put the stories in book, nobody would believe them.

I just happened to be hanging these curtains completely naked when I fell off the stepladder butt-first onto this hammer handle!

[EvilEmpryss]

Hmm, maybe I should reconsider my habit of painting naked. I hate to get paint on my clothing, but I don't want to have to explain any anal accidents from falling on a paint roller handle.

[Amina516]

I just happened to be hanging these curtains completely naked when I fell off the stepladder butt-first onto this hammer handle!

You wouldnt believe the many "I was naked" stories. Im pretty sure the last one was " I was climbing a tree naked and fell onto this shampoo bottle". Yeah, it was wedged in there pretty good.

I do. A lot. Had an inmate who we had to do a pelvic on cuz the cops suspected she'd hidden drugs there.

She had crack in well . . . her crack.

I call that "Natures Pocket".

So can you put that exact wording in the chart? I so would if I thought I could get away with it.

I would totally put that in the chart if it were quoted to me by a bystander or the patient themselves. I love writing patient quotes. They can be very entertaining.