The man who makes girlfriends jealous

[Rapscallion]

Anyone feeling old enough to remember the Jilly Cooper novel, "The Man who Made Husbands Jealous"?

Um, anyone even heard of Jilly Cooper? Whatever, it's the title that's important. The book involved, from guessing at the title, a guy who made married women think naughty thoughts. That's why he was the man who made their husbands jealous. There was a time when I made a girlfriend jealous.

Think about that for a while. Yes, this is a tale about Uncle Rapscallion and his WTF moments from yesteryear.

I posted about this on this site when I was still in retail. I had no grey in my beard back then, and it was within a few months of my first crush ever having died away after a mere three days (I saw her smoking). I was bad at the time of the crush - couldn't be lived with. I handle such matters badly.

I still saw the poor, unfortunate girl around from time to time. We talked every so often - she even lent me books, since she was a student in a subject I was interested in (classical studies) and a subject she wasn't interested in (classical studies). After a while, I didn't see her around for a while.

A moon or two waxed and waned before she came in the shop again. She came in on a Saturday with a girl with whom I'd seen her jogging. She, D for the sake of the tale, chatted to me for a while about educational matters, whilst her jogging chum bought a few things.

Before long, her Jogging Chum (JG) came up to the counter on the other side of the shop to pay our Saturday Girl (SG). Just as the first of a dozen items began ringing, she glanced around and her eyes narrowed.

"I need cashback on a cheque," she snapped at the hapless SG. "D?" she snarled, turning around. "You know I don't want to be here forever. You know I don't like it." This went on for some petulant seconds. She'd not even heard the total, nor had she even started to write her cheque. D gave me a look that was a cross between "I'm under the thumb," "I only wear trousers when I'm allowed," and "Help!" and trotted off to get back under a certain thumb.

After they had gone, SG stared at me in horror. "Are they...?" she asked, leaving the question hanging.

I nodded.

"But she's ... the one that..."

Words failed her. I was laughing too hard at the time to breathe.

I made a lesbian girlfriend jealous. Rawr! Me Raps, lord of all I purvey and lesbian relationships!

Rapscallion

[Becks]

Raps, you rock in ways I never even thought of!!

[PepperElf]

lol... and if you really want to throw the jealous gal into a fit... slap your hand on the table, fingers splayed out.

(my bf said he used to do that to his lesbian friends just to mess with them... he said it was the equivalent of guys comparing sizes)

[tollbaby]

Pepperelf, I've never heard of that, and I've known more than my fair share of lesbians....

Raps, you should know by now the power of the furry moobs!

[MadMike]

(my bf said he used to do that to his lesbian friends just to mess with them... he said it was the equivalent of guys comparing sizes)

Interesting. I would have thought laying your tongue out on the table would be the equivalent.

[Posture Moll]

Interesting. I would have thought laying your tongue out on the table would be the equivalent.

It's not the size that counts, it's how you - oh, never mind...

[HalloranElder]

Interesting. I would have thought laying your tongue out on the table would be the equivalent.

It's not the size that counts, it's how you - oh, never mind...

Well, this is Raps we're talking about, we're well aware of how he uses that tongue of his.

[Tria]

It's not the size that counts, it's how you - oh, never mind...

To quote Jeff Foxworthy, "That may be true, but it takes a long time to get to England in a rowboat."

[Plaidman]

Interesting. I would have thought laying your tongue out on the table would be the equivalent.

Don't you mean carpet?


*Runs away from the tomatos*